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The litter tray

Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

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Original poster

Help/advice (spare sanity) needed

19 replies

MTBMummy · 08/10/2013 14:18

I was hoping someone could help with a problem I've got with one of my cats, I really am at my wits end and have been in tears all morning due to exhaustion (yes I know it's pathetic - but I'm struggling to cope)

we moved house last week, and this weekend was the first time we stayed over in the new house, and we brought the cats with us, one cat has done several moves and although is obviously a little concerned she's just getting on with life, the other, who has only done 1 move previously is doing my head in.

This cat doesn't really do affection, he has the odd moment that he'll let myself or DD stroke or give him a brief cuddle, but then it's all claws and teeth again. I've always accepted that this is just what he's like and love him the same, the moments he does let you have a cuddle are even more special as they're few and far between.

Anyway, since moving, he is determined to be by my side as soon as I go to bed. In the previous house the cats where left down stairs (as I am allergic, an incredibly light sleeper and have to get up at 5am for work) I have tried closing doors, but he just scratches and calls outside them (loudly enough to wake the whole family), I tried a stair gate and chairs on the stairs, but he just jumps over them (I've seen him jump onto t 6 foot fence, so why I thought those would work I don't know) I tried locking him in the kitchen, but he managed to get his claws on the door and force it open, but again, while making enough noise to wake everyone. As a final resort - I popped him in the garage (which is carpeted and been made warm and comfy for them (and I should add he spends vast amounts of time in during the day) but he broke the cat flap, and again managed to get through the kitchen door.

The other cat just curled up on a kitchen chair and every time I brought the trouble maker down, she just looked at me as if to say "do you mind?"

The final straw was (thankfully after I had my shower) was he took a huge poo in the shower tray - and he knows where the litter tray is as he used it yesterday and it was clean.

At 5am this morning having been up for 4 hours dealing with him, I was ready to rehome him, but I couldn't do that. Please help me find a solution that will keep my sanity and make him chill out - I'm assuming this is all a result of being distressed over the move

Sorry for the essay, and thank you for getting this far

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Original poster

MTBMummy · 08/10/2013 14:20

Sorry just to clarify my 4th paragraph, he slept downstairs in the old house with no problem, all the things I have tried have been in the new house over the last two nights.

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issey6cats · 08/10/2013 14:26

maybe putting a chair under the handle from your side of the kitchen door at night, or putting him in the garage and blocking the cat flap with something heavy that he wont be able to push, im sure he will settle down he just knows at the moment he has you under his paw the pooing in the shower is letting you know hes stressed about the move have you tried feliway diffuser to try and calm him down or zyklene which goes in his water might be worth a try

cozietoesie · 08/10/2013 15:10

He sounds hugely stressed. I'd also maybe try some Feliway and some zylkene. Do you have a pet store nearby?

cozietoesie · 08/10/2013 15:11

Oh - and roast some chicken. If in doubt, resort to food bribery - and if he turns up his nose, the other cat or you can always eat it so it won't be wasted.

Original poster

MTBMummy · 08/10/2013 15:11

Thanks Issey - appreciate you taking the time to read and comment, I hadn't thought about Feliway - will give that a try, and I like the idea of the chair under the handle.

I feel torn, I desperately need my sleep (16 weeks pregnant as well) but I feel it's cruel to "abandon" him when he's showing his distress

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Original poster

MTBMummy · 08/10/2013 15:13

Will get some feliway on the way home tonight.

Food won't work, he doesn't do people food or treats (weird little beast) he's really only interested in dry cat food - he was feral when we got him as a 8 week kitten, if that makes any difference?

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cozietoesie · 08/10/2013 15:18

See if you can get some zylkene as well given the situation.

I'd also keep the other cat away from him - or at any rate, not force them into each other's company. If he's feeling at his wit's end, having another cat going 'Yah Boo Sucks' with body language won't be helpful to him. (They may seem to get on fine but new territory can often bring about a bit of mental jostling which could be telling on him.)

Original poster

MTBMummy · 08/10/2013 15:45

Thanks Cozie, not a bad call on the space issue, I just assumed it was the fact that cat 1 was 5 years older, more used to moves, and just generally more chilled, but they do wind each other up on a good day, so it probably isn't helping now

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cozietoesie · 08/10/2013 15:49

Have you got a DP who can take over some of the 'cat caring' load for you - albeit temporarily ? I know how it feels when things get on top of you and you could almost kill for a few hours of solid sleep.

Original poster

MTBMummy · 08/10/2013 16:11

Sadly DP sleeps like the dead, so when I woke him up in tears this morning, because I had to get up and hadn't slept he was completely understanding, where as normally I would expect him to be extremely grumpy.

I would be tempted to ask, but he looks after DD (3) all day, so it's also not fair on him to have to be up all night and then have to deal with a over excited toddler all day (she's still finding new hiding places and getting hyper every time she remembers she now has a pink room with a big girl bed)

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Original poster

MTBMummy · 08/10/2013 16:12

I do love the cat to pieces - but had I posted this at 8am as I planned, the post would have read more along the lines of would I BU to rehome one of my cats

I'm just so glad we decided that getting a dog right now was not a smart move

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cozietoesie · 08/10/2013 16:15

Awww. (The 'pink' room.)

Remember that it's not permanent though. Hopefully, the cat will settle down but you've got to get some sleep. I'd have a word with him and discuss the situation. You've just been through a house move (incredibly stressful), you're at an early stage of pregnancy and you simply must get a few hours of good shut eye.

cozietoesie · 08/10/2013 16:17

You're frazzled. I'd have taken such a post with a large spoonful of salt.

Oh - and thank goodness you haven't got a new dog/puppy as well. That would have sent you all right over the edge.

Original poster

MTBMummy · 08/10/2013 16:54

Thanks cozie, those are serious words of wisdom, think last night wa my breaking point, and will keep repeating it won't last forever :-)

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Original poster

MTBMummy · 08/10/2013 16:55

Yeah would love a dog, but right now... That may have made me go play in the traffic

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Original poster

MTBMummy · 09/10/2013 08:16

Well last night was marginally better.

I had the daft idea to start that I would try just letting them wander freely without locking them up, and see how we got on, all was fine until 1 am, when the little cat started meowing and wanting in our bedroom. I tried to settle him for an hour, but eventually gave up and moved him to the "comfy" garage with his food and litter tray, again the older cat was happy and settled in immediately, but the little one wasn't happy. I blocked off the cat flap to the house and managed to get some sleep.

They dirty protests however continue, rather than using the litter tray provided, he chose to pee all over the carpet we laid in the garage - fun to be had cleaning that up this morning.

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Auntidote · 09/10/2013 08:24

Why do you get up with him? Just let him do his protesting and stay in bed.

Maybe more mess to clean up but now he's getting playtime just when cats love playtime and has no reason to lie down.

issey6cats · 09/10/2013 10:39

at the moment i would actually take the carpet out of the garage because once he has peed on it will be difficult to stop him as long as he has got a bed or box with a blanket in it to sleep in he will be ok as its not that cold yet and by the time it is hopefully he will have settled down agagin

Original poster

MTBMummy · 09/10/2013 12:40

I only got up with him, otherwise he'll wake up DD as he just gets progressively louder and louder, I'm a very light sleeper so try to ignore the first scratches and calls, but it gets to the point where he's at it not stop - he's already ripped wood out the (painted) wooden door frame

will try removing the carpet, and see if that helps - I just wish he'd just get on with it like the other cat (I know that's like wishing your twoi children were exactly the same - but it does cross my mind)

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