Cat not happy since child came along :(

[PicklePants]

I have 2 cats, both mostly indoor. DCat1 is a Burmese and a big dafty, but she sometimes goes for a mooch about the garden. DCat2 has some health problems, vet recommends she stay inside. DCat1 is 12 and a lovely chilled out old girl. DCat2 is 9, is much more highly strung, and she has been very unhappy since my DS came along.

He's now 2 and she is terrified of him. He's loud and if he sees her he sometimes chases her out of excitement (despite my efforts to prevent it). He is good with our other cat (as good as a toddler can be!) and we supervise him closely, teaching him to be gentle, not to shout etc. He is getting better but he's still quite little, and DCat2 just seems to really hate his noise and galumphing about. She won't be in the same room as him - she runs away as soon as she sees/hears him, and we often don't see her until after DS goes to bed. She spends most of the day hiding

I'm now pregnant with DC2 and I'm really worried about how DCat2 will react to another child in the house. We have stair gates that she can get through, so she can always escape, but her favourite hiding place, our spare room, is about to become DC2's room. Our house isn't huge so there are only so many places she can hide. I've tried letting her have some time in the garden with DCat1, just to give her some space, but she hated it.

I fear her life has become a bit shit recently, and it's only going to get worse when DC2 arrives. I don't know how to make it better for her

Has anyone had similar experience since having DCs? Any advice on how to manage the situation would be most welcome.

Gosh, sorry for the epic post!

So that's been a full 2 years that she's been like this? (Or is it only since he could toddle?)

It's only really since he started toddling, before then she pretty much ignored him (so long as he was quiet!). She's always been quite demanding though, so she has probably suffered from a decrease in attention since DS arrived, if I'm being honest. I do my best to mitigate this just now with lots of cuddles and attention in the evenings but this will be much harder when the next baby comes along.

How about a cat kennell? They are designed for outdoors but you could position it in a quiet corner, wardrobe, under the stairs etc and she could sleep undisturbed.

Out of sight out of mind.

With a new baby coming along, it doesn't sound great to me, I fear. Some cats are just needier than others and don't like any competition. I don't want to cast gloom, however, so I'll be hoping that other posters have some positive suggestions for you.

My cat hates my children too, we have two downstairs living rooms and my solution has been to have one room for kids, toys & chaos and the quieter front room as a "grown up" room for the cat. I don't let the kids in there on their own.

I found a routine for my cat really helped and also creating situations where she can be with them without the possibility of being chased - eg she is shut in to sleep in the utility room (with tray) and let out once kids are sat at the table eating their breakfast, so she can wander around the kitchen whilst they are fairly immobile. Or if we go into the front room to watch TV the rule is they stay on the sofa while she is in there. She is gradually becoming more tolerant.

I would definitely try and create a new space for her - maybe cupboard under the stairs or similar? Her sleep place should be totally inaccessible.

The addition of DC2 didn't make much of a difference to my cat, she ignored the small immobile baby and by the time he was racing around being obnoxious to her I had more or less trained DC1 out of persecuting her, so she still only has to contend with one "threat".

I still live in hope that one day they will make friends!

Thanks for all your responses.

cozietoesie I have to say there have been moments when I've wondered if we are still the right home for her. As much as it would break my heart to rehome her (she's lived with us since she was 6 months old), I want her to have a nice, happy life. And I'm not sure that's what she has at the moment. Her health problems would be a big stumbling block to finding her another home though - she has IBS/colitis of some description so her toileting sometimes isn't great, and she is on Royal Canin food to manage the problem, which means she is expensive to keep.

How old are your children grumpla? I can't see her being ok with DS for a few years yet, and then we will have the same issues with DC2 once he or she becomes mobile. That means it will be a good few years before things improve for poor DCat2

I like the idea of making her a little den in the cupboard under the stairs though, that might be a good solution in terms of her having her own space. I could maybe install a cat flap on the door. Hmm, will look into that.

Thanks all.

I have indoor cats.
I can't offer specific help on the kids front but in terms improving the cats situation :

We have an outdoor area that is connected to the cat flap but is like a large pen so cats are safe. Gives them an extra room.

I agree with the hidey hole suggestion. Boxes, high up shelves, etc are all good. Places where they can feel safe and hidden.

Feed the cat treats in dc's presence to try and build a positive link. And then encourage dc to ignore her though I accept this might be far fetched!