Thinking of getting a cat. Sell it to me.

[sleepcrisis]

So we have mice. Specifically a mouse in DS's room which makes me cry.

DH has always wanted a cat as he grew up with them. DS is 2 and loves cats. We live on a main road but with a drive, and big back garden with fields behind that. Lots of space.

I have never had a pet and worry about the following:

DS getting used to an animal and behaving well with it.
The extra responsibility and expense
The trashing of all my lovely antique furniture
Having another small being around to train
Litter trays etc (yuk)
Am ttc - what about cats and small babies. I hate those cot net things.
Cat personality - I am told some are not so its and cuddly as others. Not tht keen on the idea of a cat that wakes me at 5am for food, for example, or one that ears and then buggers off for days on end.
Kitten or rescue cat?

Wld appreciate your advice on where to begin!

Thanks

I have 6 cats at the moment & none of them ruin my furniture .
I have trained mine to set meal times .
They are great companions , especially when its cold .
They are easily amused , throw them a bobble & they will play with it for hours .
They bring you lovely presents dead birds

We love our two cats

They are incredibly stinky (both like to pass wind as they relax on our laps)
They cough up disgusting fur balls - generally on cream carpet
When kittens they poo everywhere
Cat spray is the most disgusting smell ever
They bring in live mice, voles and rabbits to play with.
"Play with" often involves ripping their guts out and leaving the remains all over the kitchen floor which is a delight to come down to in the morning, particularly when it has hardened and needs scraping off.
They need looking after when we go on holiday which costs about £20 a night!!!
They scratch my new sofa
They miaow in the middle of the night
They require insuring, chipping, defleaing, deworming and vaccinating regularly.

We love them.

Some cats are mousers and some are not, OP. You might get one that wouldn't raise itself if the Massed Mouse Bands trotted past at full blast. On the other hand, you might get a killer - or even one that went out in the garden and brought live 'playthings' into the house.

You don't sound as if you really want one at all - which might not be good news if the cat didn't fit in with things in the household. Most of us have to compromise a bit with animals but it's worth it for the fun and love they bring. Are you prepared to compromise if needed ?

I think I want one, I just don't really know what it entails. No idea in fact.

The main things that really concern me are broken nights ( a friend of mine gets dragged out of bed by hers at 430 am every day to feed the cats and says this is not uncommon)
And also the practicality of cats with kids.

The furniture comment was a bit flippant.

So I have no idea. People say cats are easy but some people say that about babies and thst sure as he'll wasn't the case here!

So when you get a kitten they don't just fit in right? How long does it take, what does it entail etc. I am concerned that I don't have what it takes to help a kitten settle in well. Time, patience etc. I do love cats and enjoy other people's but I don't know how strongly I could feel about one of my own. I'm not sure about the emotional responsibility. Do kittens cry at night for their mothers? The thought of that makes me sob. (I'm very emotional at the moment!)

And the litter tray thing does bother me - is it like potty training a toddler? I haven't attempted that yet and am dreading it also.

I'm not a great housekeeper and things get on top of me - washing, cleaning etc. how much extra work will a cat be?

I can get really excited about the positives and have been tempted for so long hit right now I'm looking at all the cons to see if its right for us.

Oh and re mice, I thought the idea was that the mere presence of a cat scare the mice away?

Oh and snakes , they bring grass snakes into the house to play with

and frogs

and birds

in fact anything that moves

Cats are easy - it's the kitten stage that can be a bit of a pain.

Have you thought about rehoming an older cat?

Then you can discuss what you would like in a cat and what you would find hard to deal with.

Oh I actually hadn't thought of the bird thing. We have bird tables and feeders and stuff. Love having lots of birds in te garden. hedgehogs too. Springwatch bloke says you shouldn't encourage birds to your garden if you have cats right? He hates cats though.

Yes, good idea re older cat. I'd kind of feel like we'd be depriving DS of the kitten stage, but if it meat am easier transition that might make more sense. Will think about that, thanks.

BTW I have never heard of a full grown cat waking people at night regularly.

The mere presence of a cat will not deter mice.Our latest mouse has been resident since before Christmas and all the cat has done is brought one in from outdoors to kill on the carpet.

If you get an older cat you can get one that's already house trained and used to children.
You'll then only need to keep it in for a couple of weeks with a litter tray when you first get it so it gets used to its new home.

I think if you are unsure you shouldn't rush into it,and should give it some more thought.

The companionship is lovely and they make a great hot water bottle on your lap of a winters evening.
But there can be unexpected vets bills,and fleas and ticks.
And if you want to go away the cat will need looking after.

The kitten stage isn't really that exciting tbh, play consists of biting and scratching mostly.

Litter training is usually done by their mother, it's usually a case of just putting them in it so they know where it is.

Housework - they do get fur on all your clothes, other than that? You've got a bowl to wash and the litter tray to do and that's about it really.

If you want to know its definitely going to have the personality you want, really you need an older cat, you can't tell with kittens.

Oh and I shut mine downstairs at night, so I've no idea what they do or don't do at 4am, lol

The kitten stage is not all cuteness and fluff.

They are likely to do things like running up legs using their claws.....

They can be very scratchy so it's possible you may not actually be depriving DS of too much!

I don't encourage ground feeding birds into my garden,and I am very careful at siting feeding stations and nest boxes.
My cat really isn't a bird killer though - he's only had a couple in his whole life.

In his younger years he was a fantastic ratter and mouser but now he's a bit old and lazy,and enjoying life.

I have always used a cat flap when I can.
Cats are naturally clean creatures.
If you get a male, neutering is not only the responsible thing to do,but also it will stop them from spraying in the house to mark their territory.

If you get an older cat,they will be spayed or neutered before you rehome them ( but check on this).
If you have a kitten you will need to make sure you arrange to get this done.

I have 2, they?re both 11

So very different in personality and temperament.

Their names are very distinctive so they will be A & B

A came to us via a friend of a friend, they delayed taking their cat to the vet to be spayed when they did she was pregnant . Third litter. (My 2 were at the vet the day they could be done)

A was pretty much handled from day one, his Mum was/is pretty laid back and he takes after her. He is the cat that curiosity was talking about.

Comes running whenever there?s anyone at the door wants to know what?s happening, loves lying beside you having his belly rubbed. Will let anyone pet/rub him. But will never sit on your lap ever, no idea why not. He came litter trained, they learn quickly from Mum

Loves reading, sounds stupid I know but whenever I pick up a book , he?s at my elbow, there?s obviously something about pages moving that fascinates him.

He gives great ?kisses? rubbing foreheads and will come begging for them. Has all the neighbours under his spell. He knows his name and comes running to it, also knows that if he is called by his full name, think Eddie/Edward, that?s he?s in trouble, will still come running and then do his cute look, and flash his fluffy belly. .

B is an unofficial rescue, basically we just got A as a kitten, and there was a knock on the door and a neighbour (little old man who has since died) thrust a ball of fluff at me saying ?you like cats, here?. She was about 5 minutes from being feral.

A littered trained B in about a day. Cats like to be clean in the main.

I have a friend who visits the house regularly it is only in the last 2 years has she seen B.

But she is more ?our? cat than A, she loves lap sitting and is Ms Chatty von Chatty to me and OH, will sit in the window and chirp & meow to you as if she is commenting about what is happening. She has never left the back garden (to our knowledge). We get a greeting when we get home, and told off if she feels we are late

She has the warmest belly ever. . . OH and I will compete over getting her to sit on our laps in the winter because she?s like a little hot water bottle that never cools down.

Her best friend is our Hedgehog, she gets very vocal and agitated if you dare to go in the garden when Hedggie is there, and will try to herd you away from him/her.

You just need to be on top of flea treatment, hedgehogs are rife with fleas. If you have bird tables make sure that they are used to wearing a bell on a snap close collar from being a kitten.

Neither of them have ever been interested in chasing birds, to my knowledge, well never had any brought home.

A did have a period of trying to wake @ 3:30 am as a kitten. Lasted about 2/3 days.

He did it one night, padding at us, meowing, licking my arm (house is pretty open plan so couldn?t shut them out) fortunately we had a vet check-up the next day. I mentioned it, she told me each time he did it just place him on the floor/don?t speak/don?t acknowledge. As I said 3 nights, done, B never did this.

But both of them have always loved little kids, when my DNs were little they both came running when they came in. Both put up with a bit of rough handling, though we did a lot of ?gentle, be gentle? and cats are pretty good at running/hiding when they?re not happy. (B would hide if DSis came in alone, come running if she had Dn?s with her)

Anyway to specifically answer your questions to the best of my knowledge:
BROKEN NIGHTS: be strict either place on the floor gently but with as little interaction as possible or just don?t let them in your room, they learn pretty quickly.
DO KITTENS CRY AT NIGHT FOR THEIR MOTHERS? Mine didn?t, though I can?t speak for all. They wanted a safe place that was theirs alone. For us it was a wicker basket with a soft blanket that we sprayed some catnip on. A was already used to having his Mum sleep separately.
LITTER TRAY: As I said above Mum trained A, A trained B. If you keep on top of it , litter tray is a five minute job daily and a full change once a week for me. Despite both of them having full access to the great outdoors they both come home to poo. Crap for us nice for the neighbour?s garden.

Thing is like every other mammal cats have a personality of their own

We got a kitten a few weeks ago.

I had cats as a child so thought I knew what to expect!

I did not!

They cost a lot more than I thought (shots, cat flaps, someone to put in the cat flaps, pet insurance etc)

He is cuter than I expected and more fun, and he is now one of the family.

DD (8) loves him.

My advice as a NEW to cats again/first time kitten owner is...

Go hang around a friend who has a kitten/cat and see how you feel, ideally with your child, how does your child feel, how do you feel when cat/kitten scratches your child?
Work out costs so you know what you need

Your son at 2 is very young for a pet to be his, so it really is do you want it. If your DH wants it will he feed it and clean out the litter tray. Me and DD have struck a deal, I do the litter tray and she does the food. But if she forgets or is running late I do it.

I could not bear to have the litter tray with poop in it for a while so I am cleaning it out every couple of days.

Our cat sleeps in the kitten and utility space and so never wakes us.

I do think of all possibly pets they are the best! We had a hamster when DD was 6 and he was fabulous but I got tired of cleaning him out and nagging DD to help!

Re cats and TTC

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toxoplasmosis

"Toxoplasmosis is a parasitic disease caused by the protozoan Toxoplasma gondii.[1] The parasite infects most genera of warm-blooded animals, including humans, but the primary host is the felid (cat) family. ...Congenital toxoplasmosis is a special form in which an unborn fetus is infected via the placenta....A woman with no previous exposure should avoid handling raw meat, exposure to cat feces, and gardening (cat feces are common in garden soil). Most cats are not actively shedding oocysts, so are not a danger, but the risk may be reduced further by having the litter box emptied daily (oocysts require longer than a single day to become infective), and by having someone else empty the litter box. However, while risks can be minimized, they cannot be eliminated. For pregnant women with negative antibody titers, indicating no previous exposure to T. gondii, serology testing as frequent as monthly is advisable as treatment during pregnancy for those women exposed to T. gondii for the first time decreases dramatically the risk of passing the parasite to the fetus."

PS Hamster died of old age, I did not get tired of him and then he left! When he died we waited about three months before deciding on another pet.

Sorry if the Toxoplasmosis thing is scary, but I think that is part of what you were asking.

I already love our kitten but he is more work than I was expecting and so really no pet is an easy option!

If you wanted your son to have the experience of animals I would be tempted to take him to a petting zoo or sponsor and visit a donkey at the donkey sactuary until he is old enough to really get fun out of a pet and also to really be able to participate in caring for him.

That is what we did and I do not regret waiting.

I wouldn't recommend gettings kittens in your situation. They are a lot of trouble, they break things, and they are at risk of harm from children.

If you go to a rescue they will be able to advise on a cat that would be good with children, has road sense and is hopefully also a mouser.

However you need to be willing to have a litter tray in the house all the time and to accept that your furniture may well be scratched.

You also need to be able to afford the flea treatments and, very importantly, insurance.

I have to say that with the cats I've had over the years,I have never had a permanent litter tray - I've only used them after house moves and operations.

Furniture will get scratched,but it can be minimal if you are persistent about stopping them.Same with getting up on kitchen work surfaces.

Cats are thieves so be aware of that.I've never managed to 'train' a cat out of that...

And,yes, regular fleaing and worming with effective products is expensive.

verysmallsqueak - yes many cats can manage without a litter tray if they have a cat flap. However some can't. We see lots of threads on here asking why their cat is weeing on the bed or in corners or whatever, and nearly always providing a tray is the answer. Some cats for example don't like to go out in the rain, or when it's cold, or when next door's cat is in the garden. And many cats when they get old don't want to go to the toilet outside. So while you may be able to get away without a litter tray, you need to be prepared to have one permanently if necessary.

Very true thecat - it is the acceptance that you may need to have a permanent tray that is required -I see what you mean.

I love cats and have just got one from a rescue centre after not having one for a good number of years.

I wouldn't get one in your situation though, and certainly not a kitten. The 2 year old might well love cats but, just like dogs, you won't be able to leave them alone at all and that can be really hard work - believe me, I'm a childminder with 2 year olds to look after and keeping cats and kids separate (or supervised) in a small house is tricky. You have a new baby on the way and that's going to take up a lot (if not all!) of your time. It might not seem like a lot of work but a couple of extra jobs like emptying litter trays or cleaning food bowls could feel like the last straw.

My cat is still relatively new so maybe she'll get better but right now she does sometimes wake us up by jumping on the bed and meowing. If I had just got to sleep after feeding a newborn all night and she did that I'd be tempted to turn her into a pair of furry mittens.

There are much easier ways to get rid of that mouse, I'd just leave it a few years and get a cat when the kids are bigger. If you do give into temptation though, I'd definitely get a cat from a rescue centre, you are much more likely to be able to find one that fits your circumstances as they'll tell you all about its temperament and you can spend time with it before you bring it home.

We got an adult cat from the RSPCA about two months ago and I cannot recommend getting an adult rescue cat enough!

It was easy to see her personality, she came up to the door of her little pen purring and fussing and hasn't stopped since. I think because cats are pretty independent it is worth re-homing an adult who has developed their personality so you know what you are in for. Kittens are more of an unknown quantity.

She came to us litter trained, spayed, flea-ed and wormed. She reminds us if we forget to feed her on time! She spends her days sleeping next to me or on me or wandering round chatting to me.

Oh and she is three so still lots of life left in her, she likes to play with little balls and chases fluff but it is a brief burst of fun rather than endless kitten scratching and playing. She hasn't scratched any furniture at all so it is not an inevitability.

She settles and sleeps at night and we have to clean the poo out of her tray once a day. If you get a covered tray with a door it reduces the smell.

I cannot recommend an adult rescue cat enough!

My cat doesn't wake us at 4.30. He wakes us at 3.30 given a chance but I lock him in the conservatory overnight because I'm mean and I like sleep.

He's wrecked a tanned leather sofa, two leather chairs, a leather dining table, pulled the black foam out the surrounds in the double glazing, scratched a solid wood chest of drawers by climbing up it, pulled the threads out of the mattress by scratching it to get our attention, sprayed over a set of silk curtains (£200 and they aren't ours either), scratched a wooden mantlepiece by jumping on it, marks the walls under the windowsills by jumping up, scratched all the windowsil edges with his back claws and knocked a heavy glass vase over and smashed it which marked the flooring. He also comes home with filthy paws and dries them on our used-to-be-nice bed linen if I don't get to him first, the mud has a nuclear half life of FOREVER and won't come out even with bio tex and bleach.

He can open every door in the house unless you put a bolt on it.

I am insanely jealous of all of these non messy non destructive cats who sleep all night.

Be fair though, Fluffy. He is a very feisty Bengal.