Said goodbye to my lovely boy today.

[dollywobbles]

I don't know why I'm posting. Maybe because the last 2 or 3, sleepless, nights I've spent reading the threads in The Litter Tray, looking for comfort. My lovely, sweet, wonderful boy was diagnosed with cancer, anemia and renal failure 10 days ago. Just 10 days.

Yesterday I could see that he was just too tired to carry on. His breathing was painful to watch and he hadn't eaten for 2 or 3 days. Then this morning he drank some water and promptly threw it back up.

I knew he was ready. So we've had the vet round this morning.

It was so peaceful. It was, and this sounds so wrong, but it was lovely. It was everything my dear sweet boy deserved. It was at home, it was calm and he was in my arms.

He was nearly 14 and he was the loveliest cat in the world. And I loved him and I will miss him terribly.

That's it, really. Just wanted people to know, for some reason.

Ah cozietoesie what a sweet post, you have a great perspective on it.

Dolly, I could have written this post 8 mths ago!!! My boy and I had been through so much together including moving countries. When my whole life turned to shit before the move, he was all I had and all I wanted.

Naturally, I was therefore devastated having to get him pts. He couldn't focus, his legs had gone from under him, no balance, pleural effusion, heart disease. I COMPLETELY lost it in the vet. I was bordering on hysterical and tearing up now just thinking of it. Well I set off DP and the young vet too.

I was browsing the Cat's protection site a couple of wks later and saw a tiny little scrap that looked exactly like the 'fluff of my life' had. In fact he looked like something my old boy may have thrown up
That little scrap of fluff is now curled up on a chair to himself with a full tummy and fresh air smelling fur.

I know the panic, I know the desperation and I have moments of pissing myself laughing at some of his antics. I have guilt, I have sadness and I have beautiful memories that no one can ever take away. I'm also a spiritual person and I know I'll see him again one day.

Don't feel unfaithful about loving another kitty. You will never forget your boy. Even before my lad died I knew I had to open my heart to another kitty to show respect to how happy I KNOW I made my boy. And you will too. What a lovely life it sounds like you gave them, to both you lovely, grieving ladies. For you and clink to our lovely boys.

to our lovely boys.

I'm still not coping brilliantly. Three weeks on and I'm still Waiting for the first day I get through without tears but I know my two new girls are helping. But every day is a little better and I'm so grateful that I had him.

Hope everyone else is doing better too.

It's early days, Lurked. Tears are part of the healing process. There's no shame in crying.

to our lovely boys

I'm really busy at the moment and not spending as much time in the house as I normally do, which does help.

DS expressed an interest in getting a kitten for the first time today. He got all choked up and said that he could feel our cat wanted us to get a new cat so that we wouldn't be as sad. That prompted me to say what lovely owners we were, always full of love and gave our cat so much time - that it would be a shame not to let another kitty experience this. I said it just to make him feel better but actually it's true!

The only thing is it would be hard not to compare the new kitten to our cat, and our cat was so special. I would obviously love it though, I love all cats.

What I don't understand is, how our cat got knocked over in a small car park? Obviously a car won't have been going very fast. He would have woken up if he was asleep under the car. He was very good at crossing the road and keeping his distance from cars.

How could it have happened?
And he was so near home. Probably on his way back .

Get a new boy, whethergirl,

I am 2 years on from where you are, and it does get better. I still think about our lovely cat often, but I can do it without tears now. I was a mess for quite a while after she was pts though.

Yesterday I was told that our dog probably has cancer and I should just "take him home and enjoy him, there's not really anything else we can do". So here I am again, all weepy over a pet and this has brought all the memories of going through this with our cat back to the surface.

I wouldn't trade the time I had with either of them for anything.

{{{hugs}}} to everyone. I hold so many in my heart.

That is odd, Whethergirl. It's easy to go over and over what happened but at the end of the day we never really know.

One thing that helps me is that animals don't seem to have a sense of their own mortality (although they do go off to hide sometimes if they're on their way out.) they don't fret about things happening like we do. Must be a nice way to live.

Whether I'm so glad your DS is looking at a new kitten. No cat will ever replace my lovely boy and there will always be a part of my heart that's always for him but there's room for more there and I know it will be the same for you and your DS.

I think Eleven has it right - I feel awful at the moment and will for a while but I wouldn't give up the years I had with my cat for anything. Not even to feel better now.

Hi whether, so sorry to hear about your boy.
We let these animals into our hearts at our cost, don't we? They are worth it though. The memories we have of them will help.

I've been away for a week, and it helped lots to be somewhere where I don't expect to see my boy. At home it's so much harder, I keep doing double takes - thinking I've seen him walking by or sitting in his favourite spot in the sun. It's the sinking feeling I get when I register that's he gone.

We picked up his ashes today. They came with a little card with his paw print on. Heartbreaking.

I can't think about getting another cat at the moment. Not because I wouldn't love it, but because I would! And I can't go through this again.

Of course you can go through it again. You pretty well have to if you want to live a full life, dolly.

Oh cozietoesie, I do like you.

I've just had much death in my time, dolly. In my experience, the only way to deal with it is to celebrate life. With cats - well that means a new kit. It's no disrespect to the old boy or girl. Quite the opposite in fact.

We waited 9 months before we rescued another cat, after our lovely boy cat had to be PTS. I had been vehement I couldn't go through it again. But time takes away the tears and gradually we remembered how lovely it was to have a furry friend around.

I like the idea of the paw print on a card. I'd kept my previous cat's collar and bell and can still feel upset about what a short time we had with him every time I look at a photo of him. But our lovely old girl is 18 now and has given us a lot of happiness.

Hopefully one day you'll feel up to it too

Yes indeed.