Another novice cat owner here. Getting new kitten on Sunday. Advice please!

[ToffeeWhirl]

I have been looking at old threads here and it's been really helpful, but still have a couple of questions. Firstly, am I meant to put newspaper down under the cat litter or just sprinkle the cat litter straight into the litter tray? Am not sure what newspaper will achieve, but have this odd feeling I should!

The other thing I'm troubled about is that we are bringing the kitten back in the car with us and it will be a four-hour journey. I have borrowed a cat carrier and bought some Feliway to spray in it. Am just looking out old fleeces and towels to make it snuggly. What I'm worried about is what to do about food, water and the kitten's need to wee/poo. It is toilet trained already (it's 14 weeks' old), but will it just do that in the carrier if it needs to? Could I bring the litter tray and offer that or is that a mad idea? I do have an absorbant disposable mat to place under the towels in case of sickness or anything else.

And I don't know what to do about food because some advice says don't feed your cat before a journey in case it makes it travel sick. But surely it's cruel not to offer the kitten some food on the journey? I will obviously be offering water anyway.

Also, a friend told me to bring ear plugs for the journey because the cat might be noisy. It's a Balinese (like a Siamese). I have visions of a four-hour journey from hell, with yowling travel-sick kitten and two wailing, travel-sick children.

I'd say that length of time. You've got to mean it - and show that there are consequences to actions. If you're lily livered about it, he'll probably make your life difficult and, importantly, he won't be any happier. I've always run the house with very few rules for cats - but rigid enforcement of the few there are. And all the cats have been happy as sandboys.

Well done. If you're succeeding, he'll sit outside the door and yowl - which is a good sign. Means he will associate exclusion with his action.

Well, he's trotted upstairs to sleep on DS2's bed instead . Am not sure he's very upset! Mind you, he can't yowl at the moment anyway.

Sounds like he has you taped, Toffee. (I'm assuming by the way that you heard him go up and didn't actually follow him up to see that he was OK?? Now is your opportunity to fess up.)

That's OK. Just let him go up, open the door after the time and do nothing. No going up for special strokes, just let him come down in his own time and behave as normal. Then repeat next time he tries it.

Kitten Strachey = a name of pure genius.

No, no, I promise I didn't follow him!

Turns out he went upstairs and found DH, who gave him a cuddle (knowing nothing about the new disciplinary measures). Kitty tried to drink from DH's wine glass, then trotted upstairs for more cuddles with DS1.

I will stick at it though. He will still learn that he loses cuddles with me if he goes on the table and I don't suppose he'll like that. DH is very supportive about this (lots of muttering about how we should have done this with the children a long time ago).

Read QS's latest post on her thread and take heart for not letting the DCs undermine you! (Rice sat outside the door during her exclusion.)

Sadly it simply doesn't work on my cats. Having had them 11 months & kept going with it. They get shut out & howl for me. After 20-30 minutes I open the door & back to what I was about, not acknowledging them. They go STRAIGHT back to what they were removed for. I can spend hours of my day doing this. They are bloody clever cats, but they honestly seem unable to connect the dots. (Or maybe my brother's not been as strict as me so they're thinking I too might bend. )

Hmm. I'll reassess when I'm waiting for sleep tonight. I've never had a Siamese it didn't work for and even the non-Siamese have heeded (although the Lodger was wont to have the occasional try when I wasn't around for a while, feisty blighter that he was.) Maybe I'm doing something else that I'm not thinking about.

Eventually, I found kitty in a new spot, tucked away underneath DS1's desk behind a pile of old electrical equipment. When I called him, he refused to come. I could swear he was ignoring me. Then, when he did finally come out, I gave him his pill, so that only confirmed his poor opinion of me.

However, several cuddles later, he seems to have relented.

I will persist with the 'no table' rule enforcement, as I really don't want him strolling over our table during dinner time.

Maybe your cats are simply too clever to conform, Zebra?

What other rules do you enforce, cozie?

No biting, no scratching in unauthorized places. That's about it.

PS - I know you had a pill to give him tonight which complicates matters but don't worry normally if you get the cold shoulder. Just act normally once the door is open and they'll get fed up with their huff.

They really do get the huff then? How funny. I wasn't sure if I was reading too much into it, but it has happened to me twice now.

Your rules sound good.

Non-conformist cats: another thing to blame Cromwell for...?

They just don't seem to understand at all. Ditto, when they accidentally claw (they don't do it in a Meaning To Hurt way) they don't understand it's cause&effect with us obviously being in pain & ceasing to interact with them. Again, have been consistent with them from start & they have stopped any deliberate swiping & chomping (which was only ever really directed at my brother, who thus spent a while referring to blond!cat as Mr Chompy) as a result of that. It's almost as though they think it can't hurt because they don't MEAN it to hurt. Ech. There are some things they know not to do but will do if we're not there: walking on kitchen surfaces being a prime example. We tried to work out if we could keep them out of the kitchen but it's the only sensible place for their bowls & tray to be & they won't use the tray if it's moved, either, as we discovered the night we'd to keep kitchen shut & put bowls & tray in hall. They were both frantic first thing wanting to use the tray but not feeling they could because it wasn't in The Right Place. They keep their back legs crossed when the kitchen floor gets washed (& is drying) too.

My black!cat doesn't get huffy with me, just worries he's upset me. Blond!cat does an excellent stroppy face but never really gets in a hufty with me, but will sulk quite epically at my brother. They do also both spurn my brother as soon as I appear, which I feel a little bad about even though they are my cats. Ahem.

It's smart of them that they will walk on kitchen surfaces if you're not there, Zebra. I suspect our kitten will do the same. Interesting too that they won't use the litter tray if it's in the wrong place as that was exactly what happened when I tried putting the covered litter tray upstairs in DS1's bedroom one night, so kitty could sleep there. He refused to use it, but then looked desperately for it downstairs in the kitchen and kept patting at the floor to see if it was litter.

I'm glad to report that our kitten is definitely on the mend. He has eaten the last tin of chicken and DH has been instructed to buy more supplies on his way back from work. Kitty (Strachey?) is actually quite skittish this morning and has been running up and down the stairs and playing with paper and cat toys. His voice is coming back too, very gradually. Mostly, it's still a whisper, but now and again a proper bird-like chirrup pops out. When we took him to the vet, he was so upset he managed to make more noise than usual and everyone thought we had a duck in the carrier .

His paws seem to have healed up completely too. I don't think I will ever find out how they happened. It's a puzzle. He does prefer the new litter though, which is much finer and softer than the previous one, so I will swap to that.

DS1's OCD is very bad today, but the kitten is providing a welcome distraction, plus unconditional love and cuddles.

Oh yes, they wait til they're alone in the house to Wreak Havoc. And have an excellent look of studied innocence for when I get home: "The bathroom bin has been pulled over? How can THAT have happened?! Maybe we have a goblin problem..." (etc)

WRT The Tray Must Be In The Correct Place I wonder if that's because mine learned to use an area rather than a tray, really: it was like a smallish baking tray for 6 kittens & MummyCat & prolly not changed often enough (due to guy working 3 jobs & thus not being in to do so, he wasn't being deliberately rubbish!) so I think they're more focused on Toilet Location than Toilet Itself. Ho-hum.

Glad to hear Kitten Strachey (please PLEASE call him this, it is so very splendid) is going so much better - hope his pride wasn't too badly dented by being mistaken for a duck at the vet's!

TBH if paws stay healed & doesn't turn into recurring problem I think you don't need to worry your head over how it happened - just keep on top of minimising potential hazards eg no bits of Lego left lying about.

Sorry DS1's struggling today - was he thrown off by the Bank Holiday and/or weather change? I know people with OCD can be made very anxious by change & the feelings of uncertainty it brings. I'm glad that The Kitten is helping, though: hopefully DS1 will quite quickly reach the point of knowing to use kittentime as a coping strategy & learn to find Strachey/Snowy when he begins to be troubled by thoughts/behaviours to prevent an escalation.

My cats are sad&cross because they know I am off to class presently. You'd think with them having chewed many hospital letters and with them being Ballet Cats they would understand the importance of my going to (week)daily class, but apparently not. Oh dear. Really they would like me to stay at home ALWAYS. At home and mostly on my bed, in fact. Prefer that to them being all spurny-standoffish though!

Yes, DS1 has been thrown by recent events, you're right, Zebra. He had a meeting with a friend which went horribly wrong the other day, plus it has been a Bank Holiday weekend and we have had my friend staying, so all his normal routines were changed. He finds that all very stressful. I have given him the day off home ed today and prescribed kitten cuddles instead.

We rather like the Kitten Strachey name too. I think it might stick, although we will have to be tactful about DS2's chosen name.

It's amazing that your cats recognise the signs of when you are going to class. I think you are right and they would much rather you stayed in bed with them always. Which sounds quite appealing in many ways.

Hope that a quiet day & plenty of kittentime helps your DS1 recover from stresses of weekend.

Oooh, yes, need to be careful namewise, esp with your DS2 not being such a fan of The Kitten.

I go to the same class Mon-Fri unless I'm stuck at the hospital instead (boo) or not going to manage afternoon class & then company class + rehearsal on Wednesday nights, so I suppose the cats see it as part of the household routine. The cats absolutely hate my rucksack as they think it takes me away from my proper (ie snuggling with them) place. They both try to clobber it when they think I'm not watching & blond!cat likes to sit on it when I come in, presumably to show it who's boss while I head up to my room. Am sure he is waving graciously back there as I carrying the ruckie upstairs. It is very cute when he curls his tail round my neck though!

Better let blond!cat back into my room again: he was evicted for Ungentlemanly Conduct. He didn't mean to hurt me when he dug his claws into my back & shoulder & neck to keep his balance, but my ridiculously fragile skin stands no chance against his claws. Blood on my clothes. Again.

I think kittentime has helped, zebra .

Your cats sound quite a handful! I hope kitty's soft paws don't also turn into ferocious talons as he grows up .

Kitten Strachey has been sleeping in pools of sunlight for most of the day. Once DS2 arrived back home and reclaimed his room, in his usual noisy fashion, kitty slinked downstairs and, apart from a few cuddles with me, has been mostly sleeping in his box. He may also be a little annoyed with me for giving him another pill this evening, even though I always give him a cat biscuit afterwards.

Glad kittentime has been helping your DS1 - hope that he's able to sleep well tonight & has a better day tomorrow. OCD is a hellish thing (which is why I get VERY cross when people do that ridiculous "oh, I'm so OCD!" thing because they alphabetise their CDs ) so I really do hope your DS1 is able to beat it.

Well it's certainly never dull! Mine've used their claws in the same way since always so you might well be okay. Mostly they are all softy-softy paddy-paws, but every now & then it's The Claws. Ech.

Am sure Kitten Strachey will forgive you the tablets if there's a cat biscuit to be had. Mine'll take a worming tablet if it's in with treats.

Thanks, Zebra. DS says that it really helps him to have kitty to cuddle at bedtime. We are pushing for CBT intervention for him, so we are hoping that Purr Therapy combined with CBT will do the trick.

Kitten Strachey is improving every day . I bought him a new cat toy today [besotted owner emoticon] and he loved it. Pictures downloaded!

Now just love that new photo - what a great turnaround!

Terribly beautiful pix. Mr Strachey obviously loves your DS to bits.

That's the great thing about love from a cat - it's uncomplicated. Just right for DS.

Yes, it's so good to see his improvement. He still doesn't play for long, but he's definitely feeling more inclined and couldn't resist the new toy.

And yes, there is as much mutual adoration between eldest son and Kitten as there is distrust between youngest and Kitten. I don't think the latter will change until the youngest settles down a little and becomes quieter and less boisterous.