So sad I wasn't given a chance to say goodbye

[Moominmamma86]

Just had a phonecall from my dad, to say that they had to put my cat Charlie down this morning. She'd been unwell in the night, has been suffering from arthritis and kidney problems. I knew she wouldn't be around forever but she was was really my cat to begin with, we've had her since I was 11 and I really loved her.

I can't take in the fact that she is gone, they just made this decision so quickly without telling me beforehand and I feel very hurt by that fact. I didn't want her to suffer but I would have been over there straight away if I'd known. I'm not far away and see my parents every week - it's not as if I'd have to drive for hours.

Am I being unfair here? Do you think they should have let me know beforehand and let me have one last cuddle?

What makes me extra sad is that having a four month old baby, I haven't had the chance to give Charlie much attention and being worried about hygiene hadn't stroked and fussed over her as much in the past few months. I felt bad about that before and now I just feel awful. I hope she knew I loved her

Goodbye to my funny chubby little friend

I'd be upset in your position although at least you've been spared the heartbreaking final goodbye (I had to have my 4 year old cat put to sleep last week and it was awful). Do you know what they are doing with regard to burial/cremation? Maybe that's one way to get to say a goodbye. I'm sure she knew you loved her

Arw that's so sad, of course Charlie knew how much you loved her. Please don't give yourself a guilt trip just think about all the good times and the good life that you gave her

Thank you for the messages. It hasn't fully sunk in yet really. I spoke to my mum and said I wished I'd been there, she just explained she felt she had to make a decision and was thinking about Charlie, not wanting to cause any suffering and to-ing and fro-ing that was unnecessary. I do understand that. I really think she should have tried to contact me, she was worried about me trying to come across in the snow but that wasn't her call to make really - and actually the roads don't seem too bad where we are. Not going to fall out about it though, what's done is done and I know she's upset too. Even my dad sounded teary on the phone!

I don't know. I just feel sad but detached from it all in a way as I wasn't around. We are going to bury her on Saturday though, which will help.

I honestly can't believe she's gone! She was such a part of the family.

Although I wish I'd made more of a fuss over recently, I know she had pretty much the ideal life from a cat's point of view so that makes me feel better a bit.

Thanks again for the sympathy.

It's the reality of having a pet in the family your so lucky to have had such a good girl to love and she was so lucky to be so loved. Corny I know but true, to love and be loved, that's what it's all about. I hope that in time you get the opportunity to give another pet a home.

I'm so sorry Moomin. My Mum and Dad used to look after our cat when we went on holiday. A couple of years ago i got a call half way through our week away saying Midnight was very poorly and recommended she was PTS. The vet said they could wait until we got home which would have been another 3 days.

I took the decision to say to Dad not to wait for us. I couldn't have done it. I couldn't have spent the weekend with her knowing what Monday would bring. I couldn't have done the 'one last cuddle'.

My poor Dad took her and sobbed though.

Don't feel guilty, think of her long happy life where she was loved. x

We had to make a very unexpected decision to have our much loved cat PTS just yesterday morning as he had been very poorly for the last 24 hrs- not eating or drinking, unable to walk and just hiding himself away in a dark corner. We actually used an emergency vet as it was a Sunday rather than wait an extra day. He was 16 and we had had him since he was a kitten, and the vets advice was that he wouldn't recover. It's so hard to kiss them goodbye, and to be honest, he wouldn't have known what was happening. My husband held him and he said it was very peaceful - he just closed his eyes and went to sleep. I guess what ima trying to say is that I'm sure your parents did what they thought best for you as we'll as for the cat, although I appreciate that you would have liked to have been consulted. I'm sorry, you must miss him as we miss ours, but as sparklingbrook says, that last cuddle is almost unbareable and perhaps your parents were trying to spare you that.

I'm sure that in time we will be able to remember them as they were when they were healthy and full of fun, but just now, it's very painful as I know only too well. I know we had no choice and he had had a good life and was very much loved and in the end we did the only thing we could to help him, as your parents did for your cat.

I'm sorry if this is disjointed, I'm obviously very upset but wanted to try and put your mind at rest a little bit xx