Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
The litter tray

Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Original poster

Trying to re-home my cat :(

40 replies

hoops997 · 23/08/2012 10:48

Hello all,

I'm trying to re-home my lovely cat, I got her a few months back but she's very skittish and is absolutely terrified of my 2 yo DS, so much so she has developed a skin complaint, vet said this is something that can be bought on by being nervous :(

She hasn't had the best start in life, spent her first 6 weeks in a drug dealers home having to raid bins for food :( anyway her being so frightened of DS is not good for her and I want her to be happy.

I have pics on my profile, I'm posting this in the hope some lovely mnetter can maybe help.

I've tried all the shelters, cats protection but they are all full, I've even put adverts up in doctors and vets but to no avail :(

Please pm me if you can help

OP posts:
Original poster
hoops997 · 23/08/2012 10:49

Sorry forgot to say she's been neutered and is around 18 months old, she doesn't like young children or other animals Sad

OP posts:
Toughasoldboots · 23/08/2012 10:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Toughasoldboots · 23/08/2012 10:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
hoops997 · 23/08/2012 10:53

The vet gave her an injection but no idea what it was, just feel so sad, she won't come in for cuddles or anything

OP posts:
Original poster
hoops997 · 23/08/2012 10:54

No, they said its my responsibility to re-home, they don't take cats in anymore

OP posts:
Toughasoldboots · 23/08/2012 10:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Justme23 · 23/08/2012 10:57

You haven't had her very long.

Our oldest cat was as you described when we rescued him, it took us a good 7 or so months before he fell comfortable enough to come for cuddles, before that he spent his entire inside life on top of the kitchen cupboards.

Be patient, if you are going to rescue an animal then you do need to be prepared to take things slowly. Just rehung her to someone else will be really hard on her again. She needs the opportunity to gain some trust in you. Having a pet isnt just about cuddling.

Justme23 · 23/08/2012 10:58
  • rehome not rehung oops.
Original poster
hoops997 · 23/08/2012 11:02

I know it's not all about cuddles but she just won't be around where my DS is and that's not fair, surely it's best to re-home her now into her forever home?

OP posts:
Toughasoldboots · 23/08/2012 11:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Justme23 · 23/08/2012 11:10

No I disagree, moving her on yet again is not fair on her.

Without sounding mean, what were the rehoming centre thinking of, giving a cat with such background to someone who is inexperienced and also had a young child.

None of our pets willingly bother with my youngest unless he has a treat or a toy. That's just natural.

In the kindest possible way I think when you do rehome this cat you should really take a long think about wether you are responsible enough to own another animal just yet.

mrsbugsywugsy · 23/08/2012 11:14

I agree you should give her more time to settle in. It took our rescue cat a good 6 months to really feel at home.

betterthannext · 23/08/2012 11:15

I don`t think this is the best place to try and rehome your cat. Someone else with romantic views of what a cat is may want it and then the same troubles could start all over again and every time the cat gets passed aroundit will make the poor cat more snd more anxious. My oldest cat is 12 and a right crab but I love her and just let her do her own thing

betterthannext · 23/08/2012 11:23

does she go outside?

Justme23 · 23/08/2012 11:32

Also, does she have a place just for her, cats tend to like higher than the floor places so investing in a cat bed on a tier to go in a quiet corner would benefit her hugely. Once she has a safe place to retreat you may find she is much more approachable.

Your ds is also very young, if she has no experience of young children he is possibly a terrifying aspect of her new life. YOU need to establish a bond before you even think about ds approaching her.

What was the name of the rehomers?

Original poster
hoops997 · 23/08/2012 13:54

Sorry, I've not replied, I didn't get her from a re-homing centre, I got her from someone desperate to get rid of her, I thought I could give her a better home an to be honest I find it quite offensive for you to say I'm not responsible enough to have a pet...

I have the welfare of this cat in mind, she does have somewhere high to go and she sits up there at night time, but during the day she literally eats then runs out the door, I don't think this is any life for a cat

OP posts:
Original poster
hoops997 · 23/08/2012 13:58

Also it was me that got her neutered, I didn't come on here to be told I'm irresponsible, I came on here as I'm running out of ideas....so thanks for making me feel worse than I already do

OP posts:
sweetkitty · 23/08/2012 14:01

TBH I think what your describing is pretty normal for a cat, ours sleeps most of the day out of the way of the DC then only comes down at night and a bit of the morning. A others have said I think you need a lot more time together, just let her do her own thing, if she wants to stay clear of your DS then that's fine, a lot of cats are more than happy with food and water and a place to sleep, sod the cuddles.

kitsonkittykat · 23/08/2012 14:03

Feliway diffuser, a cat tree, scratcher, some nice wet food. Get down on her level with a nice toy and some catnip. Please make an effort with her, dont just give up on her yet. Cats do take a while to get used to their humans, if you put the effort in, she should warm up to you. Have you seen "My cat from hell" program? It is possible to rehabilitate her.

lljkk · 23/08/2012 14:07

good luck in your quest, OP, sorry you've had a hard time.

IME CPL or similar would pointedly not put her with young children, they would think by the time she came to live with you she was too old already to adapt. So I can well believe it's a kindness to find her a different kind of home.

systemsaddict · 23/08/2012 14:08

Agree with other posters, my cat is v. highly strung and is only just getting even halfway comfortable around the kids now that they're 4 and 6. She would not go near a 2 year old under any circumstances!

You can still give yours a happy life by making sure she has places to go where your DS isn't at the moment, and then when he's older they can gradually make friends.

Tbh for a lot of cats, especially with a difficult start, having a caring owner, somewhere safe and high up to sleep at night, good regular food, and able to go outside during the day, sounds like a great life! Try the Feliway diffuser too, it really helps.

Justme23 · 23/08/2012 14:19

That actually sounds very much like a cats life.

Did you keep her in for the first couple of weeks/ month before letting her go.

I'm sorry you find it offensive, it really wasn't meant like that but to be honest it is irresponsible to take on an animal and then just move them on when they turn out different to a cuddly toy.

Original poster
hoops997 · 23/08/2012 14:35

Thanks for your replies, I'm worried about the skin complaint but I will take your comments on board and try to spend some quality time with her Smile

OP posts:
Justme23 · 23/08/2012 14:57

It really is worth it. No animal settles straight into a home day one and bless her she's had a bit of a crap start. She's young so there's time

more · 23/08/2012 15:00

It sounds like it is stressful for you too and not just kitty.
We got two wee kittens 1 1/2 years ago from the shelter, one of them is very confident, will come sit on you when she wants cuddles. The other one, ohh the other one, my little cat is the most anti-social, scardey cat ever. I must admit he is hard work, but we try to work around him.
The only time he will voluntarily join us as a family is when we have dinner. He's also the world's hungriest cat. The only person that he will allow to touch him is me. I have spent so much time sitting on the floor with little pieces of ham or chicken. Also playing with him, letting him chase a piece of string. It is only in the last couple of months that he has actively started coming up to me when he wants something. So if you keep kitty which I hope you do, she looks adorable, be prepared to having to put in a lot of hard work, and being very patient.
I automatically let him outside when we have guests over, especially kids. My kids are 8 and 10. The kids are starting to see how he is around me, and are starting to copy how I am around him.

Swipe left for the next trending thread