I was about to start a new thread for a similar question but I'll just tack it on here instead if that's OK. Apologies for length, trying to give all detail up front.
I want to know if it's possible to get a child and a cat who are terrified of each other to ever be friends?
We've had cats for years and years - long before the arrival of DS. When DS was born we had Cat1 - a fairly grumpy elderly spayed female and Cat2, a less elderly and rather neurotic neutered male. Neither cat was familiar with children before DS came along.
When DS got to crawling he was fascinated by the cats, and we tried to teach him about being gentle and stroking nicely and always supervised any contact between cat and child. However, one day grumpy Cat1 did snap at DS's hand (not a proper "bite" just one of those warning snips that mean "I prefer you not to do that thanks". Ever since, DS has been absolutely terrified.
Cat1 sadly passed away about 9 months or so after that, so we just have cat2 now. He is of a nervous disposition and runs away and hides from DS, so spends the majority of his time cowering under chairs. DS remains terrified and screams and cries when Cat2 is nearby - their paths cross when DS comes into a room in which cat has been taking refuge, cat decides to make a quick exit which involves a high-speed dash past DS to get to another room. This causes DS to have hysterics because he is so scared of the cat.
We've been living like this for more than a year now (DS is now 3) - we've been trying to get DS to calm down, explaining that the cat is not scary, the cat will not hurt him, but the cat is scared OF him. The cat seems very unhappy - he spends most of his waking time hiding, and only gets human contact for an hour or so each day between when we have finished supper and when we go to bed. He has become less socialised because of this, and is more snappish and scratchy when we do have time for him, which means that actually DS might get hurt (a tiny bit) if we do ever get them near each other. We try to get DS to give the cat treats to help them make friends. However, nothing we do is helping and I'm begining to wonder if it will always be like this.
Has anyone got through this kind of situation and brought cat and child to like each other? Is living with a cat he is scared of going to affect DS in the long term so that he always hates cats? Will DS grow out of this irrational fear?
I believe we are responsible for the cat's happiness and well being. I've previously been dismayed to see other people's posts about getting rid of cats when a child is coming along, but given how hopeless I feel about ever getting Cat and Child happy about each other, I'm beginning to wonder whether the cat's happiness and well being might best be achieved elsewhere?