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The litter tray

Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Original poster

So we got the kitten today, there's just one BIG problem...

31 replies

Pinkjenny · 17/05/2012 22:16

I'm absolutely terrified of it. I honestly thought I had given it appropriate thought, but I am completely petrified. I have never owned a pet before, and I really thought that I would be OK once she was home. But I'm not.

I feel like I have been invaded. The dc and dh are fine and very excited. I am panicking because dh is away on Monday night and I will be on my own with it.

Will it get better? We only picked her up yesterday, do I just need to get used to her?

OP posts:
thisisyesterday · 17/05/2012 22:22

you're scared of a kitten??

thisisyesterday · 17/05/2012 22:23

sorry, that's not helpful.

what exactly are you panicking about?

crazynanna · 17/05/2012 22:34

Kittens are a bit quick and scatty. Just take your time and relax...they sleep loads so a good time to have her near you so you can stroke her and relax Smile

Original poster
Pinkjenny · 17/05/2012 22:37

She's just a bit unpredictable and I'm scared of the pouncing. I can't tell what she needs.

It's a bit like when I had my first baby!

OP posts:
crazynanna · 17/05/2012 22:39

Is all she needs is her food and water, her litter tray, something to play with,somewhere to sleep and some cuddles. She will sort the rest out. Give her something to pounce on if the pouncing un-nerves you.

usualsuspect · 17/05/2012 22:41

Give her a ping pong ball to bat about and a toy mouse to ponce on.

Original poster
Pinkjenny · 17/05/2012 22:41

I'm just so worried that I won't get used to her!

OP posts:
crazynanna · 17/05/2012 22:46

Smile You will...trust me!

You will actually fall in love with her. I feel the same love for mine as I do my children. It may sound ridiculous and corny..but it is true.

She will make you laugh and coo...you will have no choice but to fall for her. Resistance is futile Wink

Original poster
Pinkjenny · 17/05/2012 22:47

I do hope so. It's a much bigger adjustment than I was expecting.

OP posts:
crazynanna · 17/05/2012 22:54

It is an adjustment...a big one. And cats are an independent creature..the running joke being it is not your cat...you are her human!

I was never a real animal person until I got my kitten. I thought I wouldn't be too bothered,as it was dd who has been pestering me for years. But...she is defo my baby...not dd's.

Just take your time and get used to her being around. Get to know her ways, her 'thing' what she likes to do. Have you been stroking her?

Original poster
Pinkjenny · 18/05/2012 06:09

I have been stroking her, and she will curl up on dh for hours. The claws are just so sharp and I feel like she wants to crawl up me all the time.

OP posts:
crazynanna · 18/05/2012 08:13

Yes they are a bit scratchy at this stage. How old is she?

If she does try and run up your leg, just get a firm hold of her and put her on the floor...and wear trousers for a while! This stage will pass.

Keep stroking .....it will strengthen the bond between you.

Original poster
Pinkjenny · 18/05/2012 10:23

She is ten weeks.

OP posts:
crazynanna · 18/05/2012 10:36

she will grow out of the running up your leg bit. But if she scratches too hard, just put her on the floor and say a firm "NO!"...my 8mo kitten does actually know the word 'no' now..although she regularly chooses to ignore it!

Just take your time Smile

Original poster
Pinkjenny · 18/05/2012 11:18

And then I read something that said not to look it in the eye so now I am terrified to look at her!

OP posts:
Fluffycloudland77 · 18/05/2012 11:25

I look mine in the eye, I felt a bit invaded too when we got ours and I'm a cat person.

She just wants love and affection really.

PurplePidjin · 18/05/2012 11:27

Looking them in the eye shows dominance - don't let her outstretched you, it means she's won! Mine know "no" and we're trained the same as crazynanna's. If I stare them out they know they're in big trouble :o

PurplePidjin · 18/05/2012 11:28

*outstare not outstretched sorry!

MrsPnut · 18/05/2012 11:33

I outstare our cat all the time, it reminds her that i am the boss. :D

ShowOfHands · 18/05/2012 11:36

I think you're not really a cat person and that's fine but I think you'll learn to manage. What will become easier in particular is the cat's needs. Because a kitten is everything you find difficult: vulnerable; unpredictable; scatty; needy. When she's older you'll find she's independent, predictable etc and it's a much easier pet to handle.

For the time being I'd do a couple of things. Kittens can find large open spaces quite frightening and you'll find her more scatty and unpredictable and prone to pouncing if she's out in the open. Whenever we've had a new kitten we've given them an area of the kitchen and sort of closed them in (we of course cuddled them and had them on our knees but they crave quiet, dark, small spaces). Put plenty of comforting stuff in there, some toys, blankets, towels, etc. Maybe a place to hide, a box or something (we let ours hide down the side of the washing machine). Then you can watch her from a distance while she gets used to that one area. You might start seeing her for what she is ie a rather cute ball of fluff who behaves in certain endearing ways instead of worrying about where she's going to dash to next and what she'll do when there.

It's okay to look at her as dd/dh and ds's pet. And to expect them to take the bulk of the responsibility for her while you're adjusting. But as a responsible pet owner you also have to model responsible ownership. So if you are going to handle her then you need to show that you're calm and gentle and nurturing. Even if you don't feel it.

It might also help you to think of things from the pov of the kitten. Because it is a bit like having a new baby in terms of it being this alien creature which you have no experience of. But tell yourself the kitten is very young, away from its mother, in a strange environment and needs you to help it settle. They like to be touched and stroked, particularly around the ears and head because it feels like being cleaned by their mother. Think how nice it is for that cat to be comforted by you, think what you're teaching her. They like your warmth and heartbeat and affection and if you keep reminding yourself of who the vulnerable one is in your relationship then it'll help you take control.

You may never love the cat, you may never be a cat person but you can learn to live happily alongside her. You'll be fine.

Original poster
Pinkjenny · 18/05/2012 11:52

Thanks all. I am desperate to feel comfortable with her.

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 18/05/2012 12:03

You will be fine, I am very Envy. Everyone on MN seems to have a kitten at the moment. I bet in a week's time you will feel very different.

MN rules though. Picture of kitten on profile. Wink

MrsGrumps · 18/05/2012 13:30

I got two 10 week old kittens last week and currently feel like I have a baby in the house again, they can be so demanding. But having had kittens in the past I know this phase is short lived and they will grow up very quickly and then I will miss the tiny cute bundles they used to be.

I have screwed up the A5 pieces of paper for them to chase about, have soem ping pong balls for them and also some feathers on then end of some elastic for them to play with when I am out for a bit.

They eat lots but sleep loads too. Don;t be worried as you will get into a routine your kitten will understand and it will be fine. They will be a bit nervous of you to start with so make a fuss of it in stages and it will eventually come to you for a cuddle and fuss.

TheFlyingFishFinger · 18/05/2012 15:03

Awww I know what you mean. We have 3 cats, I've lived with cats all my life, but when we got our last one, I just didn't take to him, I didn't trust him at all, he was very scratchy.

It took me a few months to honestly start liking him, but now I love him heaps, he's still crazy but has learnt to be gentle.

Just keep at it, you'll get used to each other soon Grin

Original poster
Pinkjenny · 18/05/2012 15:06

She seems really sociable, which is just as well, as 2.5yo ds isn't exactly being gentle. She wants to be with us all the time, and wants to sit on my knee, and I just wish I wasn't so nervous. She sits on my knee and extends and unextends (?) her claws and then looks up at me as if she is going to climb up my chest!

I keep thinking about that Friends sketch where the cat jumps on her head...

OP posts: