Will the one left behind get too lonely? Sad. :-(

[Ilovemypinkflowerywellies]

I lost one of my precious boys on Friday whilst I was at work, he used to love ambling across the road to the woods to bring me back presents such as frogs, toads, grass snakes and sadly the odd bird or two. He must have been hit by a car and I believe died instantly. Somebody had kindly moved him onto the long grass opposite my house and although I was worried that he was not there, I did not start calling him for an hour or so because he very often stayed out like a naughty teenager. Whoever picked him must have reported it because my son saw a council van pull up and the man went straight over to the grass to retrieve my lovely boy. I am heartbroken.

The council man was lovely to me and I am consoling myself with the thought that he was much loved and spoilt for 2.5 years and I hope chasing things in cat paradise now. I took him to the vet first thing yesterday morning which was very hard and they are going to let me have his ashes back to put under my little willow tree. I keep blaming myself for allowing him and his younger brother out as the lady I got them from warned me not to as they would get stolen. I thought I knew best as I see cats as free spirits and as we live in a fairly quiet cul de sac thought no harm could come to them.

I know time is a great healer but my main concern is his younger brother (there were 6 months between them) left behind on his own, do cats realise and feel the loss? and do you think he will suffer without his brother to play with? I am a loss as to what to do other than give him more love and cuddles.

I don't think I could go down the road of getting another kitten, I have been refused rescue cats before as I work full time. But also I am wary of allowing another cat into my heart too soon.

Sorry this is long but I would welcome some advice on how the one left behind may be feeling and the best thing to do for him.

Oh poor you , no idea if the brother cat will miss him though. I have had pairs or trios of rescue cats in the past and as they have died, of old age luckily, the others just seemed to adapt. Mind you they were old themselves.

My two now, 15 and 16, don't play together anyway, unless they play 'Ambush' but again they are old-ish, not that you'd know.

I did have one rescue cat, on his own, who seemed mightily relieved to get out of the mad cat lady house with the other 25!!!!! cats. He loved being an only child cat.

I'm sure you will get other advice but I am sorry about your boy, it's sounds as if he had a really lovely life, bless.

I lost one of mine paws by being hit by a car, we also had his 2 sisters from the same litter. The council had already picked him up so they gave us the option of either them sorting it or we could make our own arrangements. I had him bought home and buried him in our then back garden. We let his sisters see him before we laid him to rest. They missed him for a while but like people time heals (says she crying writing this 4years on) and your other cat will come to terms with it.

I am so sorry to hear about your beloved boy. We lost one of a pair last year, his brother then started to wander and we rarely saw him. The old boy whom we had bought the kittens for ( when his sons died a month apart from kidney failure) also started to get stressed again. He was desolate, so we bought another kitten and then that kitten made the old boys life a misery as he was to old to play with him, hence another new kitten who has an ASBO because he is so naughty, but all is calm in the house and the wandered has returned and adores the newest kitten.

The one that got hit by a car was so loved and our favourite, but we missed him terribly and still do as he was special, but we are so glad we got another one, and then another!

He was only 15 months old when we lost him, he is now under a stone cat with a large lavender bush beside him, and I see him as I come in and out of the drive, I think of him often, nothing will replace him, but the others have certainly helped. They have not been let out yet, the breeder doesn't approve of them going out, but like you, I think they like to go out, and they are certainly ramming their noses up against the windows and "chasing" birds so to speak - it is instinct.

See how your boy fares over the next few weeks, you may need a feliway diffuser to calm him if he shows signs of distress.

We had a mother and son rescue pair. When mother cat was PTS, son got very very miserable. It lasted for about a month, so I got a female kitten to keep him company. It was partially successful, but after about 6 months the son left home never to return. We never found a body, so will never know what happened. It's possible that he hated kitten so much he found a new home, I sort of hope so.

Thanks all for your replies and kind words, I am already using feliway because my boy that is left here got beaten up a few times by the neighbourhood bully and it does seem to help him.

I think I will just see how it goes, today he wandering a bit and seems to be looking for his brother but has purred a lot but just seems a bit lost. I know how he feels, his big brother meant so much to me as I got him after my partner of 18 years left me , I think he gave me a reason to carry on which is why his loss hurts me so much.

The last thing I want to do is make my precious little one feel pushed out.