Should I take my children with me to have the cat put to sleep?

[NedZeppelin]

They are 7 and 6. They know she is old and frail and that we plan to have her put to sleep. Would the actuality of it be too much for them?

I personally wouldn't.
I stayed when they put my previous dog to sleep and it really is upsetting.
I would sit them down and have a chat with them and explain the cat is really ill and has to go to the vet and will not/may not come home but I wouldnt let them see the actual thing.

Personally I think seeing it is less upsetting than not seeing it.

I would worry that they would get upset and that would cause your cat to get a bit stressed and upset herself.
Could they wait outside with another adult and then come in and say goodbye, soon after. Are you going to the vets or staying at home?

It's very peaceful. I would think that seeing how peaceful it is is probably less scary than what they are imagining. Saying that I wouldn't make them go, but I would allow it if they asked.

Interesting array of views thanks. I am erring on the side of taking them. I want them to be clear about what death is and not dress it u. Of course if they don't want to come thats fine, I won't force them. My daughter keeps asking when she's going as she wants another cat but then has got upset when she knows she is dying.

Although being present when my cat was put to sleep reassured me that she suffered no distress or pain, I burst into tears as sobbed for some time when I got into my car to leave. I wouldn't have wanted to do that in front of children, but I don't think I'd have been able to stop myself.

We did, they were 4, 5 and 7 at the time and they were absolutely fine. It was very peaceful for the cat, I cried which puzzled rather than upset the dcs but they certainly haven't been traumatised by it.

Hi, I had the same dilemma last year and I'm so glad I took our dog on my own because although it was peaceful I found it really really distressing, I couldn't drive home from the vets because I was crying so much!

I didn't make a big deal of it to the children, I asked them both to say goodbye as they were leaving for school,they had hugs and fussed him lots. When they got back from school there was a few tears.

It's important that they understand death and I think pets dying are an ideal way of teaching them about life/death but I would consider it really carefully!!
Good luck xxx

I have had tears already myself but I think having them there might help me to not cry. Although I'm sure it isn't a bad thing for children to see their parents cry once in a while - for the 'right' reasons anyway...

I wouldn't take them. Enough adults get upset in dealing with death and find it frightening and scary, however 'peaceful' it may be. It is a alot to ask of 6/7 year olds to deal with up close. You can still be straight with them about death - there is a difference between that and them seeing something that may really worry them later.

Plus, and I don't mean to be mean here, but I don't think you should take them in to help you keep your own composure. I think that's the burden you have to shoulder on your own, as the adult and cat owner. (And I have done this myself, in the past year, so I do understand.)

I don't think that they should go with you, I had to have my very old dog put down a few weeks agos and barely held it together, cried like a little girl in the car on the way home.

I wouldn't.

DP took our cat when she had to be PTS and he found it upsetting. Although it was peaceful he said it wasn't something that he felt he would want to go through again.

If the cat looks OK (ie. peaceful and asleep) afterwards, could they say goodbye then before you bury her.

We had a very tearful 'funeral' in the garden to say goodbye.

DD (12) had wanted to see the cat after she had been PTS but DS(7) didn't.

As a vet and a Mum of an 8 year old. I would say give them the choice. Explain that the cat is old and unwell and that the kindest thing as her friends you can do is make the decision to end her suffering.
Please do not say put to sleep this leaves some children terrified of going to sleep themselves. It is very important that you explain that the cat is going to be dead.
Actually on the whole I find the children cope much better than the adults do and are often a comfort to the adults due to their wonderful matter of fact attitude.

One of our chinchillas took two injections to die, on the second she screamed out in a manor that suggested she knew the vet was ending her life.

I wasnt there because I lived 200 miles away but even now over 10 years later I still feel guilty she seemed to know she was being pts.

Just horrific.

Manner. damn autocorrect.

Really depends on indiv personalities of the kids. My gut feeling is that we hide death away too much in modern times, but no point if child is going to be very distraught to witness.