Am I being ridiculous or is it time to let FABCat go?

[fabwoman]

Just discovered she has weed in an empty plastic tray under the stairs - at least she is trying to do it in an okay place. She is 17, has several illnesses but to me still has quality of life as she still plays and is clever enough to hide behind the sofa when she has sneaked back in or make me move stuff off the bed so she can sleep in the sun. She has been weeing in the wrong places for several weeks now. She has access to a big garden and hasn't had a litter tray for years except for when she had to be kept in, but she doesn't like them.

Saying wonder vet sounds very patronising. He has treated her all the way through, not unreasonable to want to stick with the same vet. 17 days until he is back.

I was going to suggest multiple cat trays, but nannipig also said several locations with newspaper which is probably a better idea. You could put a handful of litter over the newspaper so she associates it as a litter tray.

I have heard it suggested that people take their cat outside several times and day and stay with them so they feel safe enough to wee.

As far as when is the right time - I would say from my experience its when they stop eating and don't move and tend to sit in a sort of hunched position.
I have both my cats euthanised at home and I'm glad for that. But it does mean that you might have to wait the extra day. In hindsight I would have asked my vet for a strong painkiller/sedative to give orally to my cat for that last day.

fab if she's still otherwise happy, but the peeing is getting you down, could you not confine her to one room to limit the damage?

I don't think she feels scared to go out as she is often out the front which is more open than the huge garden she has out the back. It is getting to me today as I feel really ill, woke up in the night unable to move, have to go to hospital for a follow up appointment I know is going to be a waste of time and my closest friend is v ery poorly. Just got too much for me.

stealthsquiggle - she isn't allowed in the house at all when we are out - she has the utility room with a bed and radiator but if I am here she is let out. She sneaked in and peed within minutes of me getting home .

I feel for you fab. I think multiple litter trays, or pads, or something, are going to be the only way to go.

Sorry, I didn't mean to appear patronising.
Currently, you've a lot going on. If you can bear to wait it out. Do. If not?
I'm out of ideas.

I have seen other vets, neither have had the empathy my usual vet has, they don't know my cat from the next one and their suggestions have been way off what she needs. That is why I only want to see our usual vet.

I just don't know why she is doing it .

I have just seen your thread and Itotally sympathise. We had our old boy (17) pts last week. He started slowing down and then starting peeing in all sorts of places and he really hated it as he was always so fastidious. Vet discovered he had a uti but that was just part of his slow degeneration- I think his kidneys had started to pack up. He also had thyroid problems.
We got an antibiotic jag which sorted the peeing but a week later his heart had started to give out and he was making funny breathing noises.
The vet did say we could give him medication but we decided it was time to let him go- vet agreed it was kinder. He was still fairly lively- purring and going out but it was obvious he wasn't comfortable.
I cried for a week but actually I'm glad I didn't let it go on too long which is what we did with his brother and I regret it deeply.
Has the vet checked for a UTI? It's a rotten decision but your cat is lucky to have had such a loving owner.

sounds like she could be going a bit senile, mixed with the safety of weeing indoors. Maybe she can't control herself like she used to either.

Op i'm genuinely not trying to upset you and i'm sure to get flamed but what I personally see in this thread is someone who knows what they should do but is just finding it terribly difficult.

Now that is not a judgement at all, it shows just how much you love your cat.

In answer to one of your previous posts, yes, I do think she is suffering. IME a cat who suddenly starts messing indoors consistently is not a happy cat.

Apologies if I am wrong but I think you know that.

I think you are on here because you don't want to let her go and are looking for justification in keeping her. It is completely understandable but really isn't what's best for her.

As animal lovers we are all guilty of "humanising" our pets, we know we shouldn't but it's almost impossible not to.

Animals do not show suffering until it is acute, they do not have the thought capacity to "complain" as a human would. Animal instinct remains until the end. (for example one of my beloved cats caught and devoured a full sized blackbird the day before we found out she was terribly ill and had been in considerable suffering for a long time)

As I said before, when we love our pets we don't want to let them go and search out any tiny justification to keep them "just one more day" but be honest, you will always want more time, you will never "want" to let her go. Waiting won't make it any easier and may infact make it harder if you are left feeling guilty that you waited too long.

I'm not a vet and obviously I don't know you op so please accept my apologies if I am way off the mark but I genuinely think you know what is happening and know what you need to do.

It's a horrible time but i'm sure every single poster on this thread will hold your hand through it.

Allow yourself to take comfort in knowing you did your absolute best for her right to the end.

Oh goodness. I honestly don't know what to do and felt that as she was still playing she was okay. This cat means far too much to me but I woudn't want her to sufffer. I am dreading telling the kids and feel annoyed they will be upset as I need to grieve [bad mother]. Oh shit.

Do you think, since you seem to have come to a decision, that your DC would be less upset if they were there when she is PTS.
It is upsetting, but. I've had two PTS and it is very calm and peaceful.
If you could get a vet to come to your house, it would be doubly so.

You are NOT a bad mother, upsetting as it will undoubtably be it will actually be good for them to see you grieve. Kids need to see emotions and see that they are normal.

My post looks really harsh now I read it back and it may be that I am projecting, but unfortunately it's what i did.

My favourite ever cat (I know you shouldn't have favourites but I did so there!)started messing in random places having never ever gone in the house before, not even in a litter tray. I knew what it meant but just told myself it was "age" and he was clearly fine. He slowly started losing weight, again just "age", it happens to all of them.

I would talk to my friends about it all the time, kept re-itterating how normal it all was and how healthy he was in every other way.

Got him a litter tray and all was fine for a while. Before I knew it I was having to completely empty and re-fill it every day. He got really fussy with food and would only eat 1 specific flavour of 1 specific brand. All just normal "aging".

One friday he came in and wouldn't lie down properly, just kind of hunched down and wouldn't properly settle. Told everyone I would take him in on monday if he was no better. He was still purring so couldn't be that bad.

Long story short vet did tests and found out he was seriously ill with several things and had been for a long time, 2 years possibly. He was suffering badly. Vet said I could take him home and bring him back "when the time was right".

I so very nearly did but at the last minute, thankfully, I crumbled and told him to do it there and then. I knew it was time, I'd known it for a long time just couldn't accept it.

If you're really honest with yourself is your vet really the only one who knows best, or is he the only one who tells you what you want to hear, is it just an excuse to wait another couple of weeks? Every vet I've ever known, regardless of whether I like them or not really does want what's best for the animal. (The only ones who don't are the, thankfully, very rare ones that just want to milk you for money.)

Please look after yourself op, grieve as much as you need too xx

fab, I've lurked on a couple of your threads before. Am I right in thiking your cat has Chronic renal failure??? Not trying to get your hopes up in any way, but a lot of these guys seem to suffer from recurrent urinary tract infections and this can make them wee in odd places. Again, not trying to get your hopes up, but if you are dithering over whether it is time and want to look at all options, might be worth popping a sample into your vet and trying a course of ABs (you can now get an injection which lasts 2 weeks if you think trying to give her tablets would stress her)
Good luck, whatever you decide x

I asked my vet to tell me when it was time and he said he would know. I have asked him and the other vets and all said it wasn't time. I trust him and don't think he would let her go on if she was suffering, he knows what she means to me. I haven't decided what to do yet but she has an appointment in a couple of weeks for an injection for a bladder problem. I am not sure what is wrong with her bladder but she is having 4 weekly jabs for it.

Her kidneys started to fail in April last year so she has lived nearly a year on from diagnosis.

She tears up paper and sometimes wees but that is the only things that are different. She has always liked to flick through paper since she was a kitten but the tearing it is new since her diagnosis. When she has weed where she shouldn't a lot of the time she has done it on clothes or in empty boxes/baskets so to me it seems like she is trying to do it in fairly convenient places.

I thought she had died in her sleep a while a go as she was curled up next to be and I couldn't see her breathing. A tiny part of me was relieved so I wouldn't have to make the decision but the rest of me is relieved she hadn't.

I have made DH promise if he felt it was time and he said it wasn't when I texted him the other day to say it might be as she had urinated under the stairs.

You know her best op, I'm sure you will do what's best for her.

I am going to talk to my husband tonight.

Thank you everyone.

Fab, I'm sorry Fabcat isn't doing well. No advice, but massive hugs x

((((Fabcat))) but more for fabwoman ((((((((((((()))))))))))))))))

Fab, she sounds like she's gone a bit senile. This happened with both my elderly girls; they forgot where they were supposed to pee and did it wherever, one of them had a liking for pooing on the deep-pile carpet in the bathroom (oh yum, and can I persuade dh that we would rather have vinyl flooring there? No, I cannot. Yeuch!)

Being senile does not mean that it's cut and dried though. Does she get confused about other things? One of our cats would get lost in the corridor between the kitchen and the sitting room, but was happy enough in other ways for the vet to tell us that she was OK for the moment.

I don't know FABcat, obviously. The paper tearing was put down as play in the end, wasn't it?

What does your dh say now? I appreciate that you would rather wait until you see your usual vet, but perhaps it would be worth seeing another vet this coming week and get an opinion?

I'm so so sorry you're worried about her again. She's done really well over the last few months, hasn't she?

She doesn't seem confused and when she is weeing where she shouldn't it is in the same couple of places, so okay enough to go to there but I am stumped as to why she came in and weed rather than doing it before she came in. Literally seconds after coming in she weed.

The 2 vets (lovely vet - LV) and (the other one - TOO) had said didn't know why (LV)/was playing with the paper (TOO). LV said no way to morphine and acupuncture, TOO offered it a couple of times. LV said not at that point yet, TOO "forgot" to ring me with results and implied FABCat would be PTS within days. No wonder I am confused, especially as it has been weeks since we saw TOO and FABCat is not really any worse.

If you think she's happy enough, then I would hang on until LV gets back, unless dh says something beforehand.

Both the senile cats peed in wrong places for a while before they started getting lost or confused. In fact, there was nothing to indicate senility except forgetting to go outside or use the tray; I would never have thought of it, but our vet said that was most likely what it was. I had about 4 trays around the house at one point! We got Feliway too, which helped a bit, but only in certain places, not everywhere, though I'd got 3 diffusers and plugged them in on each floor. Lots of cleaning going on. We found some stuff which neutralised the smell, as one of the vet nurses said that cats don't like the smell of disinfectant and will pee there again to cover that smell, and so it goes on.......

Found the stuff! Simple Solutions Cat Stain and Odour Remover. Can't say I was entranced by the result, mind you.

DH is home but DS2 is hanging around so we will talk later.

FABCat has pooed in her room overnight. She has never done that.