Need advice- cat put down this morning, haven't told DDs yet

[Pendulum]

I don't know how best to break the news to them. We took the cat to the vet on Thursday expecting him to stay overnight for a minor procedure, but were advised today to let him go. DH went to the vet to hold him while the deed was done. We had him cremated.

I now need to tell the girls, aged 7 and 4. I think the younger one will take it OK but my older daughter is quite attached to the cat. She is also preoccupied with death at the moment. I think she will find it difficult that there is no coffin or grave to see (although I think it quite likely as well that she would have been upset at the idea of having a grave in the garden). I'm not sure how, or even whether, to explain to her about cremation.

Can anyone offer any advice on how best to go about this, and anything we could do as a memorial to the cat that might make my daughter feel better?

I am very sorry about your loss, what a shock for you.

I have not had experience with this but here is a good thread with suggestions:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/the_litter_tray/1333186-Saying-goodbyes-and-helping-the-children-cope

Thanks for your kind reply. I told them this morning- the older one sobbed as I expected. I will have a look at the website because I expect she will keep returning to the subject with more questions and thoughts.

Sorry, meant will have a look at the other thread, not 'website'. Have just done so and found it very useful- thanks again.

I'm glad it was useful and I'm very sorry about the loss of your cat.

From my experience of losing a cat at the age of 11-12 (so obviously older than your daughters), even though it's so sad to learn of what has happened, I think it's important for children to know the truth. Hopefully your older daughter will move past the "preoccupation with death" phase, perhaps she is just coming to terms with learning that everyone dies.

When one of our cats expired my youngest sobbed "he was my best friend, what will I do without him?" for about 5 minutes - the next thing it was "when can we have another?". They will be sad for a while, but it won't be long before he's put to the back of the memory (not forgotten, just filed away). I'm sorry you lost your cat so close to Christmas - it's makes it harder I think.

hope yur daughter is feelong better now. Hopefully Christams will help take her mind off it. Having pets is a wonderful experiance for children, but this is the downside. I'm dreading the day it will be my dc's turn. They have coped with the loss of rabbits, but don't know how they would/will cope when it is the cat.