Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

The litter tray

Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Flip

Original poster

I'm a new cat owner and feel quite stressed and clueless......

8 replies

paisleyII · 02/11/2011 17:46

collected rescue cat yesterday, not from a charity but from a builders yard. took her straight to the vet who seemed to think she was fine, seems like her flees are gone as the secretaries who worked in the biuilders yard treated her (i hope they have gone, i am worried they haven't but that is another issue). she is a quiet cat, seems sad but at the same time affectionate and i am guessing happy to be inside the warm with food and attention but i feel so useless really. she mopes around like little orphan annie, looks so weak and lost. under her long fur i can tell she is thin, she looks like she has been in the wars a bit and vet reconed she had been living rough for a long time (quote), she definately belonged to someone but i got him to check for a chip and there wasn't one. he thought she might have been pg but scanned her and thought not, he is getting her done on friday, of which i actually feel guilty about in a way). i am giving her space to settle in, she hasn't eaten much, spends most of her time in a corner which is quite private. i can't let her in my bedroom as i am allergic to cats plus have asthma (!) and feel if i keep that space to myself i should be ok having her, she desperately needed a home and noone else wanted her but i am worried, i don't really know anything about cats and their habits. when the vet 'does' her neuters her, what exactly do they do? do they take her womb away?

OP posts:

peggotty · 02/11/2011 18:35

Hello just answered your other thread then spotted this one . When she's spayed, they remove the ovaries. It's more invasive for female cats than males, when they can just whip their balls off but generally low risk. Are you keeping her completely indoors at the moment? If you are, I'd be tempted to postpone the spay op for a week or so and let her settle with you a bit more (if you're certain she won't get out). Poor little thing, you've done a lovely thing in rescuing her!

RandomMess · 02/11/2011 18:37

we rehomed a sibling pair of adult cats when they were 2 - from a loving home. It still took a good 3 months for them to chill and then another 6 months before they were truly settled.

Be very patient.

purplepidjin · 02/11/2011 18:51

Ime (limited to two cats so not exactly vast!) they like the space to come to you, so what we think of as moping in the corner is, to a cat, staying in her comfort zone. The more you try and engage her, the more she'll back away from you because, to a cat, approach = dominance.

As long as she is warm and has access to food and water she will be fine. Chances are, once she's got her bearings a bit, she'll come over and make friends properly. That will probably take a day or two though.

Mine likes toy mice, I have a mixture of shop bought and home made (crocheted). She (my ginger boy lost an argument with a car earlier this year) also likes milk bottle tops and feathers and things like that dangling on string. Maybe hang some stuff from door handles etc to start with, then once she's a bit more confident you can hold one end and make the toy end dance around for her to chase?

You've done a lovely thing, I hope she settles so you can enjoy each others company soon

RandomMess · 02/11/2011 19:33

Keep her in as long as you can a good 4-6 weeks if you can manage it as she's not been used to living in a home and hasn't had a good bond with any human that you know of IYSWIM

BeeBread · 02/11/2011 19:49

Bribing her may work well - feed her meaty treats (bits of ham, chicken etc) by hand and she will come to associate you with good things, and trust you.

I've read that if you put a bit of butter on the backs on your hands and tops of feet, a cat will try to lick you and then start following you, gaining in confidence. I've never tried this myself but can vouch for the fact that cats do like butter!

Also they love being toasty warm, and soft things to cuddle up to. If you can arrange a little place for her that fits that description near where you usually sit, you will find her coming to sit near you and again she will become more relaxed with you.

I wouldn't worry too much about the "moping" - think of it more as exploring. Cats are intensely territorial and like to know every square inch of their property, particularly the boundaries. When ours were kittens they would wander room to room, patrolling the edges, but were quite happy and were just finding their feet.

Good luck, you have done a lovely thing and I'm sure it will be very rewarding.

Original poster

paisleyII · 03/11/2011 10:07

she doesn't seem even tempted to go out, i think she has had her fill of being outside with no choice. tbh she already follows me around and comes up and jumps on my lap and purs without me even encouraging it. i really hope she isn't pg, she does look big and vet thought so too, he said his scan was not a definate but i think he was going to terminate even if she is tomorrow which upsets me, i feel guilty about that but i really can't deal with a litter of kittens, i think i'd prefer to not know if she ws pg and that he just did her vacinations and 'ovary removal' although i feel bad about that too, poor thing, and i am dreading her being hungry tomorrow and my not being able to feed her, i take her to the vet at 8:30am. going out, she seems more than happy sitting on us! literall, every time i see her she is either wandering around, hiding behind a box or sitting on dh, dd or me! she is very cute. it is warm and snug and there is food & love here. ps: are a females nipples 'out' all the time or is it only when pg....just picked her up, she has a right old tum' on her and her nipples are out.........(sorry to be a pain and asking everyone all these questions, you guys feel like a safety net of support at the moment, like a torch in a cave :)

OP posts:

purplepidjin · 03/11/2011 12:34

Paisley, don't feel guilty about terminating. A pregnancy in a young cat can easily be fatal, so you're doing her a favour on that score! I had unrelated male-female kittens, with the boy (Mango, ginger, no longer with us) being 6 weeks older than the girl (Mille, black and white, skittering about the flat as we speak). They were done the minute Mango hit 6 months to reduce any risk.

TBH it sounds like she's bonding well with you already - Millie is 5.5 now, and you've described her normal behaviour

You're not being a pain at all, I wish I'd had MN to ask when I first got the kittens! I can't get to MN from work, but will check in when I can later on

suzi2 · 03/11/2011 13:07

Not sure about the nipples. You can certainly be aware of a cats nipples, but more so when they're pregnant. She could be recently pregnant and that can also explain any scrapes and bites (rough sex!). Or she could even be in season which might affect hormones. Though you'd tend to know a cat in season - they're not quiet and want out!

If she was in well established pregnancy, it's obvious to most vets. So don't worry about the 'termination' thing - far too many unwanted cats and kittens in the world as it is so you're right to not want a litter IMO. Also, as the PP said, it can be risky for a small/young cat to have a litter. If she's been owned by someone, they might get her opened up to discover her ovaries gone already lol.

But yes, even the most outgoing cats are quiet when they first move house. Some for a day or two, some prefer their peace for a bit longer. Many strays are thankful for the food and warmth, but take a long time to trust someone again. Keep her in, pet her, chat to her, give her peace when she wants it. Bribe her, or try loads of catnip to soften her up a bit too lol

Flip