Hello,
My beautiful and beloved 14-year-old cat, who has been with me for over half my life, went to the vet on Friday because she was a bit lethargic and less interested in her food over the past 3 weeks or so. She had also lost around 1-1.5 kilograms. We just hoped it was her getting old, but were worried. The vet found a huge tumour in her torso - between the ribs, over the whole abdomen, probably the same size or larger than my hand just in terms of the surface it covers. You can feel it through her skin - a very hard, unmoving lump. I have no idea how I did not notice this, but my sister first felt it a week ago but did not think into it because my cat had lost some weight and so assumed it was a reflection of her being "skinnier". Even if I had noticed it I don't think I would have made the connection that it could be a tumour, it feels flat and very hard and not like a sticking-out lump because it is so internal, I guess. Anyway, the vet was very sombre and essentially said that this was very likely a cancer, he didn't know how long she had, but we had some "big questions to think about". He did not recommend chemotherapy, radiation or surgery and discussed why. My cat has been to the vet a few times recently, including to get her teeth cleaned, and this was never picked up/ felt, despite her having hyperthyroidism and feline asthma and being palpated at each vet visit. So I imagine it's a tumour that grew very rapidly, though I cannot know.
I absolutely adore my cat and don't want her to suffer needlessly. To me that is so much more important than any selfish desire of my own to keep her with me for as long as I can. My problem is that I don't know "when" to know that it is time to "let her go" - have a vet do a house call and put her to sleep (I won't mince words). She is terrified of the vet - will meow relentlessly during the drive, begin to pant due to her asthma and stress, and usually evacuate her bladder or bowel during the car trip. I don't want to put her through anything unnecessarily distressing.
The problem is that she seems to be deteriorating quite quickly, but at the same time is not showing any "classic" signs of extreme discomfort (though I know she is in discomfort as the tumour is large and pressing against her ribs/ internal organs, no doubt - she is spending all her time lying down and repositioning herself, and you can see the tumour sticking out a bit like she has a bloated tummy even though she is skinny elsewhere). She will still eat, though her appetite has waned today; she is not vocally expressing discomfort, incontinent, vomiting, or experiencing diarrhoea. At the moment she is hiding underneath a table in the living room, lying down/ trying to sleep and breathing quite quickly/ her heart pumping quite fast. I think that if the tumour grew rapidly, it is likely still growing rapidly and causing her increasing discomfort. Earlier today she purred when I approached her/ patted her but this afternoon that has stopped, she tries to move away or just tolerates me. We have a very close bond and she adores me so this behaviour is unusual.
I just want to know from fellow cat-lovers who have been through this kind of thing: What cues would you take to know that it is time to say goodbye to your beloved cat? What level of illness/ distress/ symptoms would you look for to know? Where do you draw the line? Do you have any idea how long she might have left to live, based on any similar experiences? Do you have any regrets about how you dealt with similar situations with your own cat, that I can try to avoid? I am considering taking her to the local university vet clinic, the best in our region, on Monday, as it is only emergencies on the weekend (though they said they'd take her - my rationale for not doing so is it will stress her out, they may want to keep her overnight there which will distress her and she may die in that environment, and there are no specialists there on the weekends - plus I only saw a vet yesterday to learn what was wrong with her and seeing a vet again will not really accomplish anything as far as I know). My aim with that is to get a second opinion and maybe a scan to see where the tumour is - is it isolated or separate/ potentially treatable. Do you think this is a good idea for my cat, the likely "wasted" money doesn't bother me but the distress of the car ride for her does, it is 30 minutes away.
Thank you. Any advice would be hugely appreciated.