Cunning cats and huge pills - help!

[Brangelina]

My cat has been prescribed these mammoth pills to help manage his fatty liver disease. I'm not kidding when I say my 5yo (human) child would have trouble swallowing them, they are about the right size for a small horse. Coupled with that I have the fussiest and stroppiest cat on earth so have to use all sorts of subterfuge to get him to ingest any medicine at all, including his (thankfully petite) thyroid pill.

How on earth do I administer this monster tablet? The biggest joke is that it is supposed to be ingested an hour from mealtimes, so not with food. So far I have tried:

• crushing and mixing with favourite food (sod the recommendations). No joy there, he just ate around the "contaminated" bit
• crushing and mixing with water and syringing it in his mouth. Unfortunately the quantity of crushed pill is such that a lot of water is needed and my hulking puma cat doesn't sit still nicely while you squirt 100cc of water in. Plus he spits it out and I get most of it in my hair and on the kitchen walls.
• crushing and mixing with philadelphia - moderate success here, only the quantity of cream cheese required to absorb all the powder amounts to the size of a small snowman and thus difficult to get all on his paw. I have tried breaking it up into smaller "snowballs" but after the first one cat is suspicious and won't go anywhere near.
• marmite - ditto above, the powder made the marmite non sticky and I ended up with a huge hairy brown ball instead of a smear on his paw.

Any other suggestions for making a paste?Seeing as he won't ingest it willingly the only solution is the paw route. It needs to be super sticky, non toxic and not stain my washing (he goes under my drier and tries to flick the offending gloop off his paw and onto my clean clothes).

The vet has been no use, plus she knows what he's like so what was she thinking?????

It does make you wonder though, these people who design pet medicines, don't they ever think of the poor sods who have to administer them? I mean, it's quite clear the person who designed these mammoth 2cm diameter pills doesn't have cats or even dogs smaller than an Irish wolfhound.

Maybe I should offer my cat as a tester to pharma companies as the original "difficult subject". It might pay back some of the layout for these unpoppable pills.

Apparently the cat was "too strong" (he's about a tenth od the size of DP) and "too slippery"

Tried explaining this to my vet once. She told me it was simple, popped a minute pill in my cat's mouth and then stood back proudly. We chatted for a couple of minutes while my cat looked innocent. When he couldn't wait any longer, he spat the pill back at the vet .

My vet's the same. She used to give me advice but has thankfully stopped since she tried to take blood from him and it took her + 2 assistants with sheets to hold him still, and even then I had to go in and help as he wouldn't oblingingly stick his leg out and was spitting at everyone.

I'm the only one he lets near him, I can do anything to him, except for when it comes to medicines, flea drops, remover etc. However subtle I am about it he susses my intentions. Even when I do try an expedient it works for a while then he changes his mind.

Difficult creature. I do love him really.

Ah...if you cat is that notorious I should ask your vet if there Is a different preparation or a different brand that may be easier. I should Definately take your dh in with you and get one of the nurse to show you the hold-every practice had a nurse that is the expert "cat wrestler"

YES Brangelina, who the hell thinks it's a good idea to give cats pills in the first place? Why can't the manufacturers come up with a better idea? An oil you put on their fur, or an injection the vet can deliver, or something where the poor owner stands a chance?

I suspect they are laughing at us, knowing that we have to buy extra product to make up for all the stuff our cats spit out...

Oh yes, I have the spray and pebbledash when I try to syringe the suspension into the space behind the teeth all the books say a cat has. If mine has it too then he conceals it very well.

I agree re the pharmas laughing at us poor cat owners. Not least because if we buy the veterinary preparation of many pills it costs ££££, whereas the human version is generic and very cheap. I give my cat the human pill for his thyroid condition, it has exactly the same active ingredient and all the other ingredients are exactly the same, except that the feline one has an orange coating. The human one costs me ?5 and the veterinary one is around ?40. It's absurd and immoral.

Wow, exactly the same ingredients in exactly the same proportions? So no difference at all? Blimey.

However, I would pay the ?40 if it was hassle free and tailored to cats and the needs of their hapless owners.

?40 for pills spat back out at you is outrageous.

Yes, 5mg methimazole. Plus the human pills I can actually cut in half (dose is half a pill a day). The vet ones are round, so a pain to cut.

My vet thinks it's scandalous and continues to prescribe the human version, where appropriate.

Ha! Mine craps in the shower when he's disgruntled, or if the litter tray is not clean enough for his princely paws. He has yet to disgrace himself under a bed, thankfully!

We always break tablets in half and push each half into a square of meat from the wet pouches we feed her. She doesn't do much chewing so swallows them without noticing. Put the bits of meat with tablets on top so you know puddy has definitely eaten them. Never fails for us.

Well my cat at the vets- he's like a pussy cat. He's so bloody terrified the vet can inject him, shove a worming pill down him, a thermometer uo his arse with no fuss whatsoever, just very sweaty paws from his panic at being there that the table is all wet by the time he gets into his carrying basket (thought he had wet himself the first time I saw this).
At home he's a different kettle of fish. He can tell if we're even thinking of opening the flea drops to put them on his neck. If he has half an inkling its open, he's out through the catflap almost knocking the flap off in his haste to get out.
As for tablets he'd probably have your arm off if you tried to shove one down his throat, and you may get away with a bit of ham (not easy-- it doesn't stick) round a tablet the first time but you'd have to take your chances after that.