Please help me with some short term tips/solutions to deal with this f***ing cat before I lose my rag

[MadreInglese]

BIL and his wife split up earlier this year and neither of them could take their (female) cat into their new homes so he asked us if she could live with us. We already have two male cats but said we'd give it a go and see how they all got on.

Well she's been here about 8 months now and is still showing no signs of settling. She won't be held or stroked for very long before she bites or swipes at you, she and one of our boy cats scrap ALL the time and she's now peeing and crapping all over the place.

We keep the litter tray very clean and have even tried two in case it's the boy cat smell that put her off but we think she's just basically unhappy here. We've tried feeding them together and separately but she just seems mighty pissed off that she has to share the house with other cats, especially boys! It's got to the point that we're having to shut all doors as she's peeing/pooing in bedrooms/bathroom but we don't find it til later, and this morning she peed in my bloody walking boots that I left in the hall for 5 mins .

We're trying to stop her if we catch her at it but we're conscious that shouting is only going to freak her out even more. She also makes me very nervous around small children, we have lots of friends with little kids and while our two cats are very friendly and if the kids are too much they just move away, she is very skittish and scratchy and I have to move her away from any small visitors for fear of her freaking out and scratching them.

Ordinarily we would persevere more to try and help her settle in but we recently found out that I'm pregnant and tbh we'll have enough baby crap to deal with without added cat crap too! With this in mind we've told BIL that it's just not working out and he needs to rehome her. I know it probably sounds heartless but we have tried and it's not working, and the poor thing would clearly be much happier somewhere where she's the only cat. BIL did admit that she's "always been a bit of a funny bugger" ( thanks for that, after we agreed to have her!).

Anywayyyyyyy sorry long story, BIL is away for a few weeks so can't start looking to rehome her til at least mid Jan, so we desperately need some tips to deal with her in the meantime. I know it's not her fault but it's hard not to be pissed off with her, and we're having to keep her away from all the christmas pressies, etc. I don't want to shut her away from the rest of the house but it's getting increasingly difficult to deal with her.

There's a spray you can buy called Feliway here which often calms cats down. The cat is clearly very stressed (or she wouldn't be messing outside of litter tray, etc) and this may help.

She really does need to be rehomed where she is the only cat, sorry, but in my very limited knowledge of cats she will never settle and make friends with them. She is stressed out by the other cats hence the poo and wee.

Can you find a quiet space that you can put her in for the next few weeks, she will be much happier on her own than with the male cats. Give her a litter tray, bed, toys etc and when the toms have gone out perhaps try and coax her for a stroke, cuddle etc. If you can get the Feliway plug in and put that in her "space" that might help (got one for mine and was still cleaning wee up on a daily basis but they do work for most cats).

If you decide you want to keep her then try getting a copy of The Cat Detective, got mine in the charity shop....gave me some ideas.

Hope this helps.

Thanks both, that spray sounds a good idea, I had heard of a calming pheromone plug-in thing so I might go and chat to the vet about it

She seems to like being high up so we've moved her bed up to a shelf and left the other ones on the floor so hopefully she'll feel a little more secure higher up

I don't think keeping her is an option as she really hates being here with the other cats and we're confident she'd be happier (and nicer!) in a house where she's the only one.

I think you need some multicat household advice firstly, one litter tray is not nearly enough for three cats you need four one for each cat and one spare. Secondly too clean a litter tray is a bad thing remove the dirty litter regularly, but do not wash the tray more than once every fortnight otherwise it won't smell of her.
Feliway Plug in would be better than teh spray as covers a wider area.
For more excellent advice about multicat households visit www.fabcats.org