My cat is jealous of the new baby.

[Sarahlou8]

Hi, apologies if this has been covered before, it's the first time I've visited this section.

A lot has happened in our house over the last six months, we have moved home and six weeks ago, had a new baby.

Our four year old cats settled into the house really well and didn't show any problems at all. We gave them masses of fuss and tried to make it as smooth a transition as possible.

Now we have a six week old baby. I went to put her in her car seat a few days ago to find her coat and the seat soaked in urine. Then last night, actually caught the cat boldly sit in the baby's rocker chair and urinate in it.

Now last night I was extremely angry - mothering instinct kicked in I am afraid - but this morning I have calmed down enough to realise that the one that did it is obviously extremely stressed and I am desperate to help them as they are part of our family and have simply got to accept the new baby.

Has anyone any advice? I have spent the morning giving her as much fuss as possible but part of me is still so cross. Do cats get jealous? And has she done this deliberately?

Thanks.

Two things spring to mind

1. do you have snow? If so are your cats looking for alternatives to going outside and I would offer a litter tray in case of this.

1. Secondly rather than being jealous of your baby they maybe scent marking these new items to let other cats know they belong to them. In this case I would get a Feliway plug in to reduce there stress (you have had alot of changes) wash the items with products that do not contain ammonia and then use a product such as frebreze on them to remove any scent. Finally you could ask your vet for a short course of zylkene to help with the stress.

Forgot to say also worth checking out www.fabcats.org for more great advice on cats behaviour.

I can't be of much help here really since I am expecting baby number 1 in March and am trying to prepare for any changes that my 2 cats will have to face once baby is here. In preparation I have bought the main baby items and arranged them in their place so my girls won't feel the intrusion of baby and stuff all at once. Although I must admit to doing this rather badly since I have not yet purchased the crib mattress my baby will use but my youngest cat has already claimed the crib as her own. So as soon as I get the mattress I will have to upset her by throwing her out.

Does your cat still have its "safe" areas? Areas that belong simply to the cat and no-one else? My 2 cats do have their safe spots that I hope will keep them feeling like it is still their home. They have their scratching post and their large dog carrier den that I leave open for them. My OH and I have already discussed making the transition easy for our cats, especially our 3 year old who has never encountered babies before (My 9 year old was pre-loved by a family with a young child so I anticipate less problems with her). My sister has suggested I should get rid of the cats which angered me - I'm sure with a bit of help your cat (and my cats) will get over any stress a new baby causes. See your vet and ask them for any advice, they are most helpful if you have a good one.

Thanks for the tips, I hadn't heard of Feliway, I will look into that.

They do have a litter tray which they rarely use. They have used it occasionally this week as the ground has frozen.
and they each have their own bed, which they use as a safe place. They haven't been allowed on our bed in the bedroom like they always used to as the baby is in a moses basket next to us, but we have had this rule in place ever since we moved six months ago so i don't think this is an issue (although they still try to get on the bed in the middle of the night!)

I have absolutely showered them with fuss over the last two days and no more incidents, but I don't feel I can trust them yet and wonder whether this is a problem that will resolve quickly or have I got problems for good?

Catherine - Ican't believe your sister's suggestion! Our cats are part of our family as I'm sure yours are.

it's really good you are preparing your cats now. I'm regretting not doing more for mine now but I honestly thought with the house move going smoothly for them they would be fine.

Can you have a (clean) blanket that you will use for the cats, but that has both your scent and the baby's scent on it (e.g. use it for a couple of days feeding), and then let the cats have it, so they get used to the new scent of the baby, and associate it with the known scent of you and the coziness of somewhere to cuddle?

I remember reading something similar years ago, but haven't tried it yet. Only just pregnant with my first, and we have two cats. Pretty sure one in particular will be jealous, so trying to think ahead.

Good luck - let us know how you go?