It’s a good job I love him…

[Jellycatspyjamas]

I had a new carpet fitted in the lounge this afternoon. It wasn’t down an hour when DDog went in to sniff around and promptly threw up on it. Luckily it seems to have cleaned up ok, but seriously! And of course I now have a bloody vet bill in to the bargain.

What have your dogs got up to that’s left you thinking “it’s a good job I love you…”

Mine did the same when we got a new rug. That was the day I learned I’d actually bought a rug that cleaned really easily for which I was very grateful LOL.

He’s very good at sneaking into the kitchen to steal random things. He once chewed up my favourite wooden spoon; stole and demolished a whole chicken carcass while we were sitting eating our roast dinner one night; someone left our snack drawer open and he stole and started eating a packet of cream crackers; found his box of dry food and decided to rip it open and help himself to an early dinner.

He’s actually normally a very good boy but he obviously takes notions for snacks at times.

Now my late chocolate lab, I’d be here for a while with all the tales of him doing things he shouldn’t. Especially eating related ones as he was diabetic.

As a puppy, in my arms, my boy snaffled bacon rolls from my local coffee shop. As I leaned over to pay, he just opened his gob and gobbled a bunch of them up from where they were on the counter. Cost me a fortune in bacon rolls, because obviously they couldn't see any of them after, and he was sick.

I still go there for coffee and the owner still laughs when she see's him!

You took your dog to the vet after throwing up once? God, I’d be bankrupt.

To be fair my dog does have a sensitive stomach and will eat bloody anything and proceed to throw it back up everywhere. She only goes to the vet if she isn’t herself or throws up repeatedly over multiple days, on the advice of my vet. It’s only ever to get an anti sickness shot.

She ate an entire tub of Vaseline recently, the big ones, no harm done except some very well lubricated poos. Apparently that is the only thing that doesn’t make her vom.

Oh! I actually forgot about the most recent incident, 12 pieces of raw chicken marinating in Tabasco. I wasn’t there for that incident but was the one cleaning up after her upset stomach for a couple of days.

I don’t suggest getting a dog taller than the kitchen counter…

I don’t usually but there were little streaks of blood so I’d rather get him checked out cos I couldn’t see anything in his teeth or gums to cause it.

I’m loving the bacon rolls, definitely something my boy would try given half a chance.

Oh bless her, hope she’s feeling much better now.

Are you taking the price of the clean up and the vet bill off his pocket money ?

My dog decided to poo on the upstairs carpet twice in a week the same week we went on the market for viewings.

Its a good job we love him...

My youngest is a poo eater. Only that of her sisters and only in the garden.

Sometimes when we go outside for bedtime wees, she'll get to one before I do and snaffle it up. Then we go to bed and she'll lie with her little head on the pillow, breathing in my face.

No love in the world is enough for that. 🤢

He’s decided to earn his keep by providing security services, so far he’s protected us from next doors takeaway delivery, a wandering cat and two kids on bikes.

It’s like they know exactly the wrong time and place. I wouldn’t mind but literally every other floor downstairs is either tiled or wood, easily cleaned. I figured we were past the stage of toiletting accidents, so could have one cozy, carpeted room…

Yep we are exactly the same! Flagstone floors everywhere else

What made it worse was I was in Europe with DD and DH was in London at work and it's DS15 who woke up many hours after the event and discovered the line of poo along the cream carpet outside his room 😭

I got a video call from DS, asking how to clean carpet. I've never felt so helpless!

Ate my beloved Birkenstocks- stole them from my feet when I fell asleep in the garden.
Then promptly did the same with my replacement pair.
I must stop napping in the garden.

Leaving my foster dog with someone for a couple of hours, literally the last thing I said to him was “don’t show me up”. He waltzed into their house and peed lavishly on their hearthrug.

Christ, how long have you got! 🤣
Stole the turkey on Christmas day
Also on the Christmas theme, pulled over the Christmas tree to eat the chocolate coins on it (rookie error by me!) then barfed them all over my cream carpet
Shat on a wide variety of new rugs/carpets
Ate v expensive sunglasses
Crapped under my future MIL chair on her first visit to my house
Stole and ate a variety of not dog friendly foods, resulting in various very expensive vet trips
Ate one Jimmy Choo
Sulked so much on my return from holiday that I (as a very experienced dog owner 🤦‍♀️) was convinced they were v poorly. £500 of tests later showed they were, in fact, sulking.
Admittedly, that is a wide variety of dogs over many years, but yes, it is a good job I love them!

The day mine rolled in absolutely honking mackerel guts (discarded by fishermen) was a definite low point.

I could actually smell that as I read it 🙈

We had tatters horses on the back field here. One gave birth and the afterbirth was obviously very tempting as I had to keep coaxing (dragging) my dog away from it.
Of course I foolishly assumed it would’ve disintegrated/rotted away after a couple of weeks so I let her off the lead nearby. I was so wrong! The smell of my dog after she gleefully rolled in the remains was one of the worst smells in the entire world.
We walked a very different route for a good while!

When mine was a puppy he pinched a bacon roll out of someone’s hand when walking down the street 😂

They really do find the most awful, stinking stuff to roll in. My boy very happily brought us the stinking remains of a dead seagull he’d found. Was very proud of his find, trying to get him to drop it was quite the game. He was much less proud with the bath that followed.

We generally share the bed with at least two of our four rescues. Just last night girl dog puked on the bed, jumped up barking, boy dog tried to eat it, and general chaos ensued (at 4 in the morning..) The bf slept through the whole fkn thing (he was snoring so not faking, lol). I love them all, but really..!

My Labrador found a discarded yellow sack, the type used by card homes for used incontinence pads. It had been ripped open by wildlife. DDog rolled in the contents. I don't think I'll ever smell anything quite so vile again.

The rolling in things is awful, my childhood dog adored walks by the harbour. We did too, until he found and rolled in decomposing green seagull remains. Oddly enough he hated baths despite frequently rolling in Awful Things he found on coastal walks.

My current dog stole and ate a roast beef joint which was cooling on the counter, and then sulked because we didn't feed her for the next 24 hours, as we were afraid she'd burst.
She is a Beagle Foxhound cross and I've never seen anything so greedy. She steals constantly from bins and counters, does gymnastics to lure cat biscuits across the counter to her waiting jaws, and once vomited up an entire towel she had taken into the garden.
The vet told us she was overweight (surprise), and suggested we feed her fewer treats. She doesn't get lots of treats, she treats herself!

@DawnBreaks @muddyford 🤢 I'm beginning to feel thankful it was 'only' mackerel guts my dog rolled in.... (he ate human sh!t left by tourists rather than rolled in it, still disgusting but less so)

He did once contemplate a very decomposed seal which involved me sprinting down the beach to get him shouting 'don't you dare' to the shock of (non-dog) people in the area - fellow dog owners would understand!

When ddog was a pup we'd carefully checked garden fences and also behind hedges etc as quite a big mature garden. Thought all dog proof and no issues....until one day I was holding ladders while Dh was pruning top of hedges. Ddog had been happily pottering round the garden until we heard "oh hello Serenitydog!" from next door. She proceeded to run into their house, eat the cats food and go upstairs for a nose round. None of us could work out where she'd got through, (we never have done!) so had to go round the front and bring her home in disgrace