Puppy life

[Bobsaysboo]

Anyone found that having a dog has been detrimental to your mental health?

We have had our puppy since September. She’s actually an angel - loving, cuddly, calm, cute, well behaved etc - but I have still found these past 9 months to be so hard and I’m constantly emotional.

I have bonded with our pup and she adores me and I love her a lot. She’s my little shadow and is rarely far from my side when I’m at home. My teens and husband adore her and cuddle and play with her all the time.

As much as I love her, I also feel trapped by the relentlessness of dog ownership and I have never cried as much as I have over these months. She sleeps on a bed in our room and wakes early each morning so I haven’t had a lie in in ages. I’m in bed earlyish with her as she’s tired and I’m tired!

I walk her twice a day - often meeting up with friends for fun park walks or if not we go for relaxing road walks. I enjoy the social aspect of dog ownership - I have never interacted with so many strangers before! People constantly come over to say hi to our gorgeous pup and she loves the attention and strokes and I enjoy talking to fellow dog owners.

The downside to having our puppy is that she doesn’t like to be left - she will usually bark and howl even if I am gone for a short time. When I go to work, she is cared for by my husband or a dog sitter. It feels like I am back in nursery days, dropping her off and paying for day care. We are trying to decide about a holiday and planning to just do a UK trip with her, but that feels stressful and we still haven’t got anything booked. This is making me feel really down, sad and trapped. I’m also at the point where I am struggling to look at options and everything feels heavy and difficult. Taking her feels hard and leaving her feels hard.

I know things get easier. It already has become easier in many ways. I’m just worried about always feeling stuck and down for the rest of my dog’s life.

I’m sorry you feel like this. Dog ownership can tough and all consuming. There’s no let up.
Focus on the good things: the exercise, social aspect, unconditional love, fun interactions…
But also take time to disengage your mind from doggo with reading, puzzles, TV, and other hobbies so you can relax forget her for a while.

Holidays are possible: we’re taking our boy to the Lake District for a week this summer, then a trusted sitter will have him when we go abroad. We took previous dog on caravan holidays, family visits and dog-friendly holiday cottages. We took him to France, too. Other times he stayed with a sitter or one of our adult DC.

I hope your dog becomes a bit less clingy as she matures and you start to feel better about having her in your life.

Yes, definitely! It’s a strange position to be in. I do not regret having him one bit and I love having him in a lot of ways… but I do think he has made my world smaller. The part you said about it being too difficult to leave them but also too difficult to bring them with you resonates with me. So I end up not going anywhere! I work from home and I’m raising him alone and I end up with terrible cabin fever!

I have been so lucky with him in so many ways. He’s a working line lab but he is very calm at home and will sleep until I wake up (he sleeps on my bed) he’s also fine with being left alone, it’s just that I was still puppy proofing the kitchen every time I went out (which is where he goes when I’m not in). He is a very confident dog but also excitable and boisterous so bringing him with us can be stressful also. Walks can be stressful too as he is so friendly, he will bolt over to any dog he can to say hi so I’ve had to really work on that! He’s my first dog and the months spent, especially over winter, training and training and not being able to tell if it’s even making a difference were tough. He’s about to turn 14 months old though and just this past week or so, I have noticed some big changes in him. He’s much more responsive out on walks and I’ve started to enjoy them again, he is recalling away from dogs which is something I never thought I could get him to do! And this past week, I’ve started letting him free range downstairs if I go out. Started off small with the school runs which take about 20mins and tried him with 2 and a half hours the other evening and he has been absolutely golden. Hasn’t destroyed anything, showing no signs of distress and nearly always seems to be conked on the sofa when I get back. I feel better about going out now so there is light at the end of the tunnel!

I'm sorry you feel trapped. I think having a dog is a lifestyle choice. They do need a lot of care and attention the thrive.

I agree, focus on the positives, they can give us so much joy, companion ship and love. Some things will get better, others will be similar throughout your dogs life.

Thank you for all your replies, for your understanding and own experiences.

My feelings vary day to day at the moment. I love watching my pup interacting with our family, I love seeing her enjoy walks with me and with friends, I love how friendly and loving she is.

I feel like I’m at a bit of a crossroads with work - I need more stability, which I don’t currently have and it is causing me some stress, especially when trying to organise day care with our sitter.

Not sure if this is what you want to hear, but here goes! I ran puppy classes for decades and had a lot of puppies myself. When they hit about the age of 2 people tend to suddenly think "Oh, OK this is getting a lot easier!" Then when they hit 4 it becomes really enjoyable (and all memories of the trials and tribulations of owning a puppy are promptly wiped from your memory so you are shocked all over again the next time).
It is a culture shock, you've basically got a toddler who will never grow up and that puts limitations on your life. You aren't imagining it. But it also brings a lot of joy

They calm down after 2. I own a husky, one of the most agitated breeds. He's is way calmer at 2, acts like a prince nowadays lol but they will always depend on you, to eat, walk, attention. But not in the level of a puppy. It's like having a kid, you will need to adapt and thinking on your pup while planing your routine. It's very worth though.

You should consider pet schools or if you don't have money, wasting it's energy in a park. And pet hotels when traveling (yeah it's money but there's no way)

The downside to having our puppy is that she doesn’t like to be left - she will usually bark and howl even if I am gone for a short time.

This is separation anxiety. Your pup is young enough to work on this so she can be left for longer periods which will probably cut down on your own worry about leaving her. There’s so many wonderful home dog sitters out there that will come and stay with your dog in your house for holidays it’s just about finding the right one. My advice would be to really work on the separation anxiety, that’s not great for the dog or you.

@Bobsaysboo how are you doing? Have you managed to book a holiday yet? I took mine away with my son when my puppy was 5 months old and it was so stressful 😂 but I’m taking them both away again in August and I feel much better about it this time.

@ejsmith99 I know that advice was meant for OP but it definitely brought me some comfort! It’s strange that you hear all about the puppy phase before you get a dog but almost nobody talks about adolescence which, in my humble opinion, is far harder to deal with and lasts longer!