Heartbroken after saying goodbye to my dog of 16 years

CheeseForHer · 2026-06-05T09:03:43+00:00

My 16.5 year old dog had to be put to sleep yesterday and I feel so devastated. A vet came to our house and I sat in the garden holding my girl in my arms while she passed, the sun was on her face and the wind was blowing through her fur as she slipped away. I know it was the right decision for her, but it still feels so wrong that she isn't here any more. We took her to a local crematorium and they were able to cremate her the same day so that I could bring her home within a few hours. But walking out and leaving her there was so awful, I just wanted to pick her back up and leave with her. I had her since she was 3 months old and she was my shadow, by my side through the best and worst times of my life and she had such a big personality for such a small dog. The house feels so empty and quiet without her. I'm not sure what I'm really posting for, I just feel so lost and restless.

HoppingPavlova · 05/06/2026 10:07

O’ m so sorry @CheeseForHer . Please take comfort in everything you did for them, and their brilliant ending, as it was a brilliant end. It’s hard to see on the moment, but everything was as it should have been, and you were the best conductor the orchestra could have had.

Walkingnice · 05/06/2026 10:11

I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful girl. You did the kindest thing an owner could do and gave her a peaceful ending. It will hurt and you are grieving but in time you will think of those wonderful memories you shared together. It’s the hardest part of loving an animal so just be easy on yourself right now x

Purplecatshopaholic · 05/06/2026 10:11

I’m so sorry op. Everyone who has lost a beloved pet knows how you are feeling. You did your absolute best for her, and you know it was her time. If there is one thing in life that is unfair, it is that dogs don’t live longer. Hugs to you.

Savvysix1984 · 05/06/2026 10:24

I’m so sorry! I dread the day when my dogs gone.
sounds like your girl was so loved and had a great long life and a peaceful ending with her mum. Sending love xx

Original poster

CheeseForHer · 05/06/2026 10:37

Thank you all for your kind words 🩷

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Thecows · 05/06/2026 10:42

It's awful and it's heartbreaking 💔 sending you much love and strength xx

SparklyBrickViper · 05/06/2026 10:43

It’s the hardest decision to make, for the kindest of reasons.

Snippit · 05/06/2026 11:11

I had to do the same in March, my lovely lab was 14, I’d kept her going for my benefit. My vet was so lovely, he’d know Bella for years. Both myself and my daughter were crying so much, the vets wouldn’t let us leave through the waiting room in such distress, they let us use the emergency exit, which was so good of them.

You know deep down you’ve done the right thing, but that hurt and pain is so hard. Anyone who hasn’t had a pet really doesn’t understand the grief and emotions involved. I have 3 other dogs and I honestly believe these have helped me cope with the heartache. The pain and loss will get easier, it will take some time, but you’ll never forget them, 🌻

Original poster

CheeseForHer · 05/06/2026 11:33

Snippit · 05/06/2026 11:11

I had to do the same in March, my lovely lab was 14, I’d kept her going for my benefit. My vet was so lovely, he’d know Bella for years. Both myself and my daughter were crying so much, the vets wouldn’t let us leave through the waiting room in such distress, they let us use the emergency exit, which was so good of them.

You know deep down you’ve done the right thing, but that hurt and pain is so hard. Anyone who hasn’t had a pet really doesn’t understand the grief and emotions involved. I have 3 other dogs and I honestly believe these have helped me cope with the heartache. The pain and loss will get easier, it will take some time, but you’ll never forget them, 🌻

Thank you so much for your kind words 🩷 I'm so sorry for your loss. You know it's the right thing but it still feels so wrong. And you just wish you could have even one more second with them, but no amount of time would ever be enough x

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Nofeckingway · 05/06/2026 11:46

I lost our lab at 15 and it was so sad. She had been struggling for awhile and I knew it was the right thing to do . I saw her mentally and physically lose her ability to do the things she enjoyed like running and swimming and the confusion when her back legs needed my help to lift her . Family struggled with the decision and she had a stroke . I wished we had PTS before that happened but so reluctant to do it .

Your pet is the one thing in your life that loves you unconditionally, never asks for anything other than kindness and basic needs . So intuitive and seemed to know when I was down .Others in my house left for employment, college ,but the dog remained by my side constantly. A very subtle presence in the home that is such a comfort . The loss is unexpectedly huge and the house felt so empty for ages . There is a beauty in sharing our lives with one of God's creatures that forces us to be patient kind and loving . Be thankful for the time you shared and hoping the good memories will give you comfort .

Original poster

CheeseForHer · 05/06/2026 11:53

Nofeckingway · 05/06/2026 11:46

I lost our lab at 15 and it was so sad. She had been struggling for awhile and I knew it was the right thing to do . I saw her mentally and physically lose her ability to do the things she enjoyed like running and swimming and the confusion when her back legs needed my help to lift her . Family struggled with the decision and she had a stroke . I wished we had PTS before that happened but so reluctant to do it .

Your pet is the one thing in your life that loves you unconditionally, never asks for anything other than kindness and basic needs . So intuitive and seemed to know when I was down .Others in my house left for employment, college ,but the dog remained by my side constantly. A very subtle presence in the home that is such a comfort . The loss is unexpectedly huge and the house felt so empty for ages . There is a beauty in sharing our lives with one of God's creatures that forces us to be patient kind and loving . Be thankful for the time you shared and hoping the good memories will give you comfort .

That's beautiful, thank you so much ❤️ I'm sorry for the loss of your precious girl xx

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YourAmusedOpalBird · 05/06/2026 12:27

I had to do this a few weeks ago for my lovely boy. My first baby. It was definitely time but I didn’t want him to go. He had a lovely last hurrah of McDonald’s and chocolate mousse and ice cream. In my arms in the sun. But still when the vet put the needle in he seemed scared and I wanted to change my mind. I feel so guilty about it. Could I have tried harder? Done more? I keep going back to that moment and it makes me feel physically sick.

Sadly I think there’s nothing for it. That’s dog ownership - one day you have to say goodbye. And no matter how long it is it’s never enough. I remember my mum still got heartbroken over dogs she had put down 20+ years before. Maybe that’s just the price of having loved them so much.

One thing that gave me comfort - my mum
died 18 months ago and I know my dog was her favourite grandchild. So I like to think she’ll be there waiting for him and be so happy to see him. She can feed him steak and lemon tarts all day 🥰

Original poster

CheeseForHer · 05/06/2026 13:42

YourAmusedOpalBird · 05/06/2026 12:27

I had to do this a few weeks ago for my lovely boy. My first baby. It was definitely time but I didn’t want him to go. He had a lovely last hurrah of McDonald’s and chocolate mousse and ice cream. In my arms in the sun. But still when the vet put the needle in he seemed scared and I wanted to change my mind. I feel so guilty about it. Could I have tried harder? Done more? I keep going back to that moment and it makes me feel physically sick.

Sadly I think there’s nothing for it. That’s dog ownership - one day you have to say goodbye. And no matter how long it is it’s never enough. I remember my mum still got heartbroken over dogs she had put down 20+ years before. Maybe that’s just the price of having loved them so much.

One thing that gave me comfort - my mum
died 18 months ago and I know my dog was her favourite grandchild. So I like to think she’ll be there waiting for him and be so happy to see him. She can feed him steak and lemon tarts all day 🥰

Edited

That mirrors my experience so much 😔 she had her favourite foods and I carried her to her favourite walking spot and she lay on her blanket just enjoying the fresh air for a while.

She had been really sleeping all morning but when the vet put the sedative needle in she woke up briefly and looked shocked and I wanted to tell the vet to stop.

I also have a lot of guilt around could I have done more, was she ready? But I know she was.

It's so hard and I'm so sorry for the loss of your boy and your mum.

Sending big hugs x

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alicewhatsthematter · 05/06/2026 16:46

I'm so sorry for your loss. I'll be in your position on Monday, with my 16.5 year old lurcher.
It's so difficult, but the right thing to do

AsparagusSeason · 05/06/2026 16:48

It’s the hardest goodbye. But what a wonderful and long life she had with you.

wanderingwillows · 05/06/2026 16:49

I’m so sorry for your loss and will be thinking of you. This is a really hard time but I promise that you will learn to manage this grief and it will feel lighter.

Original poster

CheeseForHer · 05/06/2026 16:55

alicewhatsthematter · 05/06/2026 16:46

I'm so sorry for your loss. I'll be in your position on Monday, with my 16.5 year old lurcher.
It's so difficult, but the right thing to do

Thank you 🩷. I'm so sorry to read that you're going through the same thing. It's the final gift that we can give to them, to end their pain and to take it for ourselves 💔 be kind to yourself xx

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Original poster

CheeseForHer · 05/06/2026 16:56

wanderingwillows · 05/06/2026 16:49

I’m so sorry for your loss and will be thinking of you. This is a really hard time but I promise that you will learn to manage this grief and it will feel lighter.

Thank you 🩷

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PinkNailPolish2026 · 05/06/2026 17:05

It’s such an awful feeling when you lose a dog, it’s an huge empty space left in your life and it’s so difficult to navigate. I still can’t speak about my black lab that I lost 9 years ago without welling up and I miss his furry wee face every day but I have happy funny memories of him that make me smile. I have a magnolia tree in a pot where I put some of his ashes, it’s lovely to see it flowering every year and gives me a lot of comfort. Be kind to yourself and know you did the right thing x

Myswweetchild · 05/06/2026 17:11

It's so heart breaking and my heart goes out to you 💔
I never had dogs or pets growing up, but I had the privilege of having a beautiful dog, when I was 40 ish
So, a new experience for me
I absolutely adored him. 10 beautiful years with him.
Had to have him pts 2 years now.
Absolutely broke my heart 💔
It does get better - I still miss him desperately but it does get better
Mumsnet helped me so much x

SnowSnow · 05/06/2026 17:14

Sending lots of love

doodleygirl · 05/06/2026 17:15

I’m truly sorry for your loss, the pain is unbearable. We lost our best girl 11 Oct 2022, and I know remember her with such happy thoughts and still the occasional cry. Just remember you loved her so much and did the very best for her right up to the end.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 05/06/2026 17:21

She had over 16 years of your love
She died in your arms , in her garden with the sun on her face .
That's a really good life well lived .

You're the one suffering because you have taken that off her shoulders .
Doesn't make it easier though .

(My parents dog was a reired Guide Dog , she had a couple of lovely years , having known my parents for many years . She happily went to the Vet who she loved and was sedated for a scan. Bad news , so she was euthanised slightly under the sedation, my brother went along . She was unaware , in a safe place after a good life )

JuneAlready · 05/06/2026 17:23

I'm so so sorry.

It is 💔 when doing the right thing feels so wrong🥲 it's normal to wonder if you could have done more, waited longer etc. but you know you did the right thing & in a beautiful way 💕

lots of love ❤️

Myswweetchild · 05/06/2026 17:26

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 05/06/2026 17:21

She had over 16 years of your love
She died in your arms , in her garden with the sun on her face .
That's a really good life well lived .

You're the one suffering because you have taken that off her shoulders .
Doesn't make it easier though .

(My parents dog was a reired Guide Dog , she had a couple of lovely years , having known my parents for many years . She happily went to the Vet who she loved and was sedated for a scan. Bad news , so she was euthanised slightly under the sedation, my brother went along . She was unaware , in a safe place after a good life )

Exactly
My dog died in my arms, surrounded by those who loved him
It's the last, loveliest thing you can do
It broke our hearts but I'm glad we did it.
@CheeseForHer Blue Cross support, ring them, they're amazing x