I love my Ddog but I'm struggling. Quite alot, actually.

[SmotherhoodandApplePie]

He is 3. There's just him and me and I don't work so we're together alot of the time. I had him as a puppy and did alot of searching and researching before I went ahead. He is CKCS. We did puppy training both the Dogs Trust and I had a private trainer to help with all the usual puppy stuff.

Anyway, we had a lovely relationship which is now under stress because of his reactivity. It's really hard to manage (in fact I'm not managing in an emotional/psychological sense and to some extent physically).

The worst part is that every single morning for the past few weeks he wakes at about 6 ish and he is clearly on high alert.He used to have a cuddle and fuss and we would have some bonding time. But now I have to let him out because he becomes out of control reactive and body slams the patio doors whilst yelping and barking hysterically. And straining so hard on the lead to get out that I can hear the strain on his throat.
I have to grab his collar and lead and get it on him whilst holding him back as he is frantically trying to get away and outside. Once in the garden it's worse as at that point all the neighbours can hear him and probably see him dragging me around the perimeter of the garden and everywhere else in between. It's awful..I don't talk to him at this point because I've learned that it doesn't make any difference.

He calms down after a while but by this time I am so upset with him and myself and I'm sure he picks up on that. There is also literally no point in my trying to use distraction or treats - it simply doesn't work for a dog that is clearly in fight or flight.

So a while ago, a fox was hanging around and I get that this would be a trigger. I scatter coffee grounds in the garden every day as I heard foxes don't like them. Last night a neighbours cat was in the garden and all hell let loose.

Now he's also lunging at traffic when we are out on a walk - and to get to green space we have to walk by a road at least some of the time. I've done alot of training with him on that but I feel he is so anxious that he's never fully relaxed now. Once a day we also go in the car either to the beach or the woods so he can roam safely and do his thing.

I've booked a Vet appt next week because I don't know what to do. Ddog is not castrated but did have the implant for a while. Sorry for the long post. DD knows a vet nurse who said the Vet will probably advise a Behaviourist.

100% correct. Can't believe this thinking is still mainstream. Only strengthens my resolve to continue to educate. Thanks for saying what needed to be said.

Bravo for your educated vet. Glad you're in good hands, OP. Admire your honesty and resilience.

Has he been neutered? that can sometimes help
have you tried Feliway plug in that can help sometimes
has there been any major changes in routine or household?
it might be time to contact the Dogs Trust again or a trainer?

I think it's essential at 6am if she can't trust him not to bark like mad or come in instantly when called, to avoid disturbing others.

Most people castrate male animals... It's a fact, unless they want to breed, then there's a strange group of people with dogs who project human feelings onto them and refuse to castrate. Once they are at the right age, it's appropriate for most dogs. It's causing problems for this owner and would be the best thing she could do for her dog.

And your veterinary or behavioural qualification to back up this utter twaddle is what exactly?

I adopted a 5 year old dalmatian some years ago, he was just the same and its very hard i agree. He passed away at age 15, and I lost the most loving dog i've known. Its worth the perseverance, a 3 year old dog depending on the breed, is likely to be super lively, and my experience ( of having dals for over 30 years) is consistent and regular routine helps, basic obedience training which you can do at home, and hiring dog fields regularly for a good off lead run. Oh and tons of patience, check out Facebook groups for owners of reactive dogs, keep trying!

I have a very reactive lurcher. I’d get some high value treats like sprats , and stay calm when the dog is reacting.

try to get the dog to focus on you using there treat as a reward. If it’s high value- ie fun food like smelly sausage or sprat youve got more chance than with fruit.

try to catch the dogs mind before he completely melts and just call his name to get him to look at you. When he does, reward with a cue word (I use YES) so the dog knows a treat is coming. Then reward. You’re giving him a good thing when the scary thing is there.

so start by commanding sit when the dog is calm, tell him YES and reward. This will teach him the work means a treat.

when your dog looks at the scary thing, say yes and treat. Repeat. It’s hard but you will slowly get to a point of reducing big reactions.

it’s like clicker training, but with your voice and it does neeed you to look for tiny clues in their behaviour, to catch it before a full melt down. Xx

I've got an entire male cocker spaniel and the vet guided me with this. He never showed any signs of aggressive or sexual behaviour so why neuter?

I've also got a very nervy sprocker, who was always on high alert and ended up with stress induced colitis. We had a really good chat to the Vet and she's now on Fluoxetine which for her has been life changing. The reactivity on walks has 99% gone, and she seems so much more settled in the house instead of pacing from room to room. Oddly enough she was fine till she got to 6 and then all these behaviours appeared.

I’m not a vet and only have experience of my family and other family friends who were registered dog breeders for decades. so completely anecdotal. In all the male dogs I had experience with through this, the castrated males were much, much happier and relaxed than the studs. They all had long lives as well, not riddled by bone issues, cancers or illness. We all felt incredibly sorry for tagging a male pup as a stud as, from experience, it was really condemning them to a significantly worse life than the others who were castrated (was done at 6 months). It didn’t seem breed specific either, as parents made close friends with several other breeders, mainly different breeds, and everyone had the same sense of guilt re the studs not being able to castrated and as happy as the others (and that included the men which says something, as they are usually the first ‘defending’ entire males😁).

I agree, the amount of rubbish that is posted is depressing. I'm sure your advice is well being but it is drivel.

Not all intact males are studs, though. They behave differently.

Let him off the lead in the garden he’ll be able to burn off his energy. You holding him on the lead is making him worse.

If they felt so much guilt, why continue breeding?

To continue the breed(s), as if every single breeder did this then every breed would die out, so it was a sacrifice for a greater good, but that didn’t mean people had to be happy about it 🤦‍♀️.

This is what I thought - that’s a lot of stimulation for a small dog.

We have a reactive small dog too and work a lot with the “buckets” principle, in that we give her time to empty her buckets so sometimes that’s one short walk a day if we think her bucket is “full”, as the pile up of stimulus makes her more reactive.

What really helps reset her is training sessions, or giving her a job. We do a lot of scent and tracking work with her which because it has a lot of sniffing and licking rewards is both calming and positive for her and has brought her reactivity down an unbelievable amount. On weeks where she misses these things we can see her getting more and more worked up and reactive.

I actually don’t think she’d cope with 3 walks a day as she wouldn’t be getting enough down time, so we focus on one long walk most days and plenty of time pottering around in the garden.

@HoppingPavlova But people made that sacrifice for that individual dog who got no choice in the matter. Dogs don't care if their breed dies out, only people care about that.

And I don't understand why an unneutered dog who was allowed to breed couldn't live a decent life.

And neutering at six months is now considered far far too early if you do it at all. I don't know if six months was historically seen as a suitable age.

Sounds just like my dog, age 3 and reactive, I've spent £100s on behaviorists and overall it has not worked as he still reacts. I have no advice really but maybe some things to try, adaptil calm plug in is one. Long walks 3 times a day. Weirdly my dog listens a lot more to my partner, a firm deep voice with no messing seems to work better than my voice. Do you know anyone who has a dog that could be a buddy? We walk him with my partners dads dog, it was chaos at first but he walks nicely with him now{muzzled just in case).
Feel for you though I know how stressful it is and how judgmental ppl are.

@ThisQuirkyAmberMember interesting!
I'm down South and not sure he ( we) needs that level of intervention but I will explore a behaviourist because I think there's no harm in asking for an assessment .

You've had some good advice on this thread, and clearly you need to talk to some professional incl your vet.
I think Ddog is definitely picking up on your stress and unhappiness, so you too need some help managing that. He sounds unhappy -& so do you.
And I may have missed it but why on earth is he not neutered? Talk to the vet again-in my experience it really helps calm dogs down, much more than an implant would.
Get help-for yourself and for him. Then you can get back to a loving and rewarding relationship. Good luck!

The OP has stated that the vet will not neuter for behavioural reasons and only recommends it for specific health conditions as should all veterinarians following up to date advice re: neutering.

Get your dog neutered.

Get a bungee harness instead of a clip on lead on his collar.

Let him in the garden off lead.

Get some calming pet plug ins.

Speak to a professional dog behaviourist.

Veterinary and behavioural experts in the UK increasingly advise against using neutering as a primary solution for behavioural issues, particularly aggression and anxiety.

• Ineffectiveness on Aggression: Recent research indicates that neutering does not reliably reduce aggression and may actually increase fearfulness, anxiety, and reactive behaviours in some dogs, especially those with low confidence.
• Risk of Worsening Traits: Neutering removes testosterone, which can reduce confidence in nervous or timid dogs, potentially making them more fearful and aggressive when stressed.
• Alternative Causes: Behaviours such as humping, poor recall, or aggression are often driven by over-excitement, anxiety, pain, or training methods rather than hormones alone.
• Professional Guidance: The Kennel Club, PDSA, and behavioural specialists recommend consulting a qualified animal behaviourist before neutering for behavioural reasons. They suggest that training, positive reinforcement, and addressing underlying anxiety are more effective interventions.
• Temporary Testing: If hormonal influence is suspected, experts suggest using temporary chemical castration first to observe behavioural changes before committing to permanent surgery.