Struggling with new dog and mental health, considering rehoming options

[ForgetAbout]

I know I will get judgement for this but I would appreciate if the responses were still kind.
I’m not sure whether I should have posted this under mental health or somewhere else.
I took on a quite a small middle aged dog with some health issues (not life shortening) and didn’t realise what I was getting myself into.
I got her for some company and I thought she would help me get out of the house for short walks.
She is really badly behaved, out of control and it causes a significant amount of stress for both of us.
She has no recall. She is slightly overweight from all the treats that she demands. She is a long hair and the hairs get everywhere, and she needs a bath at least once a week usually at least twice as she somehow gets incredibly dirty and rolls in the mud. I also don’t like the smell of dog to be honest.
She follows me around and trips me over. So there are a lot of issues. I don’t have the time for a dog like this.
If I’m working or busy doing something that’s when she demands my attention and then she puts her head down in her paws because she is sad.
If I open the door for her to go out, she’ll refuse unless I go out as well.
I can’t stand the smell.
She is a very cuddly dog and very cute and I do have an attachment to her, but I’m just not coping.
I have mental health issues and regret getting a dog but I highly doubt she can be rehomed? I’m not willing to pay for behaviourist classes or anything like that.
She is also toileting in the house after being let out. If I let her out, she will literally come back inside and if I make her stay out she will sit by the door shaking.
I know I can’t expect a miracle.
She naps during the day and then is awake in the middle of the night scratching at the door or making a lot of noise and if I leave the door open she comes to my bed and starts crying.
She will stand there staring at me if I’m sitting down and it makes me really uncomfortable.

You should rehome her. Even if you were willing to train her (which you don’t sound to be) there are obviously things here which training won’t address (hair, smell) and which are just part of having a dog.

It sounds as if getting her was a mistake but that doesn’t mean you have to struggle on. Please do as Pp suggests and contact local charities- do not try to rehome her through Facebook.

Don’t get another dog, even if you find you feel the urge to. They all need training. They (almost) all have hair and a smell.

The poor, poor dog. Two years isn’t new. She thinks you are her family and home. Two years of a dogs short life is huge,
OP, please don’t advertise this dog on FB. Contact some reputable charities and see if they will take her to rehome her.
I wish people would think before they get animals. They aren’t toys to entertain you until you get bored. They are a massive responsibility and they completely change your life. Too many people seem to think it’s going to be easy and the dog will just sit on its own in a corner until they choose to interact with it 😔

Posts like this really break my heart. Please do right by this dog and get a reputable charity involved with the rehoming.

You got a dog 2 years ago, so this isn't a new dog. Mental health may be a reason why someone can no longer look after a much loved pet, but this is selfish, callous behaviour to get a dog off Facebook whose history you didn't know and when you have no experience owning dogs because you thought it'd be "fun". You've treated an animal as a disposable commodity for your own amusement and now you realise it's actually quite hard work and dogs can be a bit dirty and smelly and aren't just there to serve your needs, you don't want the hassle any more. You talk about the dog as though she's a child who knows what she's doing, but dogs aren't children.

I have no qualms about being judgemental at all about animal neglect and abuse, and that's what this is. Not training your dog or dealing with behavioural issues and allowing them to get worse is neglect. Overfeeding and exposing them to health issues and joint pain is abuse.

Rehome the poor dog, and not via Facebook for goodness sake. Talk to a responsible charity like Dogs Trust or Blue Cross. And definitely don't get any more pets. Ever.

Can anyone recommend a book
that’s a bit simple to read like one for dummies about dog training particularly when they have had a traumatic past. As it feels really overwhelming and I had an older dog before who was a boarder collie 9 years ago who I trained to sit and spin around and go outside to the toilet and she had really good recall and walked fine on the lead and was amazing.

No!
This is not dogs for dummies.
Having a dog is like having a child. They are there all day every day for the rest of their lives.
They take a lot of time, effort and patience. Children smell and have toilet accidents too. Most people don't look to get rid of them.
You are not mentally capable of looking after a dog. Please rehome it. Then seek to solve your ,mental health issues.

This is terrifying

@ForgetAbout how often is the dog walked and for how long?

If the dog isn’t getting adequate exercise outside every single day and proper brain stimulation this won’t be helping.

I usually take her out to the dog park at least once a day for about an hour, sometimes twice but I don’t always have the time

Criticizing the OP for struggling doesn’t help. She had good intentions, but caring for a dog can be overwhelming. Not everyone can manage every situation, and recognizing when you can’t provide the right care is responsible, not shameful.

OP, it’s good that you’re acknowledging this may not be the best situation for you or your dog. I agree with others who suggest contacting a reputable local rescue. Be completely honest about the dog’s needs so they can place them with the right foster or adopter. Avoid giving the dog to just anyone, as they may face the same challenges.

This has to be a wind up. There is no dog training for dummies book that will help you resolve behavioural problems like this. You either need to get a behaviourist and commit to a training routine, which you've said you're not willing to do, or responsibly rehome your dog.

What isn’t a wind up about Mumsnet. Drama in every post. Hours of scrolling about someone else’s life problems. Dealing with random rude people. It’s going to take a toll on anyone.

If you really think owning a dog isn’t for you please contact a reputable charity or shelter and explain the situation and work with them to find your dog the best home possible.

I don't think you are a good home for this dog, there are several things you don't like and you aren't willing to pay for help in training her. It also sounds as if you're not willing to make more time for her. So the best thing for the dog is to rehome her. But you are responsible for this animal and their health and well-being, so you need to do it via a reputable rescue, not facebook or gumtree etc.

I am pragmatic and it's worse for a dog to live in a home where they're not wanted and their needs are not met than being (responsibly) rehomed. Rescues often deliberately do not give anyone a hard time because it's infinitely better that people surrender their pets to a reputable rescue than dump them or rehome through facebook etc. That said I do not think you should get another pet without thinking very hard about it and being totally honest with yourself with whether you can offer an animal a good home.