Having a dog is giving me anxiety

[YellowDogg]

Does anyone feel the same or can you help?

1. My dog got really seriously unwell a year ago, we thought he was dying. Maxed out insurance and it completely wiped out our entire savings to save him.
2. He also nipped my baby (baby was fine, my fault-the baby hurt him, but I’ll never trust the dog).

Since those things happened I’ve been increasingly anxious about everything to do with him:
• I’m always triple checking that the baby isn’t bothering him, that they’re not left alone together.
• I’m always worrying about the next hypothetical vet bill. Not helped by the fact that he is repeatedly looking like he might be getting ill again but then turns out is fine.

I’m anxious to the point of waking in the night to check on him, not being able to eat.

Anyone else feel the same or am I going mad? I’m worried I am 😞

To be clear:

I don’t want to rehome him. I think he’d miss us for the rest of his life. Not to mention he’s a bit reactive and if really pushed by a dog who wouldn’t leave him alone (the “he’s just playing” type of owner/dog) he would bite. I couldn’t rehome him.

I want to know how to worry about him less.

If you don't trust him with your baby, enough said.

I think you need to find a good behaviourist and build you and your dogs confidence, not trusting him is a bit poor when you admit you allowed your child to hurt him. Dogs have their limits just like us and likely gave warning signs of his discomfort

We rehomed a reactive dog. She’s not bitten under our care and I’m really clear with other dog owners that ours will bite if they don’t move their dog.

Could you talk to a breed specific charity. If the anxiety is at the point of keeping you awake then the situation doesn’t sound tenable for you or your DDog.

How old was baby when this happened? How did it come about?
How old is dog?

Look into further training for dog and yourself, so you can maintain the consistency with him.
As for dog getting ill its unfortunate, and a risk all pet owners take. I can also understand your worry especially if it has nearly cleared you out.

We had a young dog and a baby, they were always supervised. But there has to be trust there. It was very clear that our kids had to respect our dogs and their space.

Im glad you wont re-home him. Dogs never ever forget their original owner and they have a sad life thinking of them for rest of their lives.
You said you don't trust the dog to be alone with your baby, as its an animal its normal not to trust any animal alone with your baby.
No dog should ever be left alone around a baby.

About the vets bill anxiety, get a good pet insurance.

As you mentioned you have a baby make sure your dog is still getting love and attention.

I disagree with this.

Dogs tend to be in the now, not pining for the person who bred them.

The OP didn't actually "breed" the dog. @Amira83 is absolutely right. Dogs never forget their original owners and OP is the original owner, not the breeder. Are you really suggesting that dogs have no memories?

You allowed your child to hurt the dog.

You blame the dog for not being trustworthy.

If you rehome. Please never get another pet.

I think you could rehome him to a house without a child with an experienced, calm owner who would give love and training to get him more used to other dogs.

If you a anxious and don't trust your dog, he'll pick up on it and turn anxious, making things worse.
You can try and re build your trust by consulting a behaviorist or attend dog training classes or just work through a few trick training videos...
If this doesn't help, or you cannot commit enough time to the dog, the kindest thing would be to find a suitable home.

As for nipping the baby, I'd be cautious. Some dogs don't tolerate toddlers and small children. Please think about how you can keep both safe at all times if you keep the dog.

I don’t blame the dog at all. I very clearly said it was my fault! And I didn’t ‘allow’ my child to hurt the dog. It wasn’t intentional, she fell into him. But my worry is that another, bullet proof dog, could have had a baby topple on to them and be startled or scared or hurt and just back away and he didn’t, he turned and nipped. Granted it was just a scratch. But it makes me worry.

I should have made sure they both had more space from each other, hence it being my fault. I don’t blame the dog for being a dog, and I clearly never said that.

No excuses, and yeah buts and no buts! You HAVE to rehome your dog@YellowDogg STOP MAKING EXCUSES!

He nipped your child.

Next time it could be something far worse.

.

To those who are suggesting training: he’s actually been in training for a few years now (about being reactive to other dogs) and is miles better than he was. I didn’t think about doing general behavioural training with him though, that could be a good idea.

I am sure your dog is a good dog, but it sounds like a difficult mixture for you to have a dog and a baby.

A vet once told me that dogs see a small child as being equal to them in pack order. It would be easier if you had a much older child.

Why not get a very experienced dog trainer and behaviourist to come to see you and your dog at home in order to advise you better?

I agree. My rescue would probably be excited to see his old owners (he remembers people), but day to day he's happy with me and lives in the moment. He had an adjustment period (as expected, he'd had an upheavel and I was a stranger) but certainly isn't sad now.

If you are very anxious about the dog, I think there is no shame in rehoming him if you do it in a non-rushed way through a good breed-specific rescue ... and you keep him til he finds a good home.
He will fare better in a more chilled setting.
I don't agree that dogs can't change owners. Plenty of dogs love everyone they meet.

It wasn’t intentional, she fell into him. But my worry is that another, bullet proof dog, could have had a baby topple on to them and be startled or scared or hurt and just back away

I had similar with my old girl. Toddler DC fell onto the sleeping dog by accident... dog turned all teeth and then realised it was DC. No mark and my old girl was very submissive to DC and myself afterwards.
For balance, I also had one that didn't like DCs... he would lower his head and walk away growling as soon as DC came near - that was any child under the age of 5/6.
Like I said upthread, some dogs are not cut out for families with young children.

But that's something you need to assess and make the right decision for your family and the dog.
If it helps, I currently own a dog that can only described as a failed pet. She's a working breeds mix and couldn't cope in a busy family home. She just needed a job (physical & mental tasks) to be calm and relaxed. It's a lot of time and effort to stop her reverting into the nervous wreck that I took on. But this dog is living its best life!