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If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

Please help - our new (to us) 11 month old pup “submissive” weeing all over the house. Will he grow out of this?

36 replies

MonsteraDeliciosa · 09/03/2026 20:01

We got a new 11 month old golden retriever 3 days ago from a lady who could no longer care for him. He’s manic, excitable and has been through a few things. I can deal with this but the weeing! He’s toilet trained, but wees in excitement. In the house… everywhere. When he’s excited or agitated. I feel guilty that I regret I choosing him although he’s beautiful and good in other ways.

Does anyone have experience of this “submissive” weeing? Will it peter out as he calms down and settles in? Might it fade out in time?

His owner unplayed it saying he weed a little if frightened or left alone a while but he’s never alone here.

OP posts:
bbb77 · 10/03/2026 15:29

Not knocking you when you are down but this is the risk of a private rehoming. People lie a lot and you have no support or backup. People lie to rescue centres but they are more equipped to deal with it.

If you had gone through a good resuce the dog would have been assessed (sent to someone like me to sort out immediate issues) and then been put up for rehoming when suitable for the dog. The rescue would also take back the dog if the homing was not working out.

The above was not meant to be mean but just highlights for others who may be in a similar position or thinking of rehoming.

However having said all of that . You still have the chance of a lovely biddable familly dog if you are able to give a bit of time. Tbh most dogs have some things we wished they would rather not do and need to spend time on training etc.

Do get the dog to the vet for a check over as well - it could just as easily be an infection!

Hoppinggreen · 10/03/2026 15:48

faerylights · 10/03/2026 12:46

Unfortunately this is the problem with private rehoming - you’re relying on the previous owner to be totally honest and they very rarely are.

I imagine that this was a sale rather than a rehoming and the previous owners can't be relied on to be truthful about any of it. Get a vet check asap
I am on my 4th well behaved (mostly) GR and they don't arrive like that. They can be hard work like any puppy but are quite smart and quick to learn so hopefully with the right advice, time and persistance you will end up with a lovley dog.

MonsteraDeliciosa · 10/03/2026 16:43

Thanks for the tough love. Lesson well and truly learnt.
Doggo has had a slightly better day though: two good walks and DD is with him in the garden now. We’re keeping everything low key and quiet, not overdoing the fuss, and I take him out every half hour to “go toilet”. When he does, he gets praise and a treat.

He seems very intelligent so hopefully a consistent approach will get us there.

OP posts:
AcquadiP · 10/03/2026 21:26

MonsteraDeliciosa · 10/03/2026 16:43

Thanks for the tough love. Lesson well and truly learnt.
Doggo has had a slightly better day though: two good walks and DD is with him in the garden now. We’re keeping everything low key and quiet, not overdoing the fuss, and I take him out every half hour to “go toilet”. When he does, he gets praise and a treat.

He seems very intelligent so hopefully a consistent approach will get us there.

@MonsteraDeliciosa and sorry for the long post but I just wanted to give you some encouragement. I think sometimes dogs arrive in our lives, in not always the best of circumstances, for a reason. In my case it was a 5 year old Black Labrador female. At the time I had 2 male Border Collies, only 3 months age difference and best of mates. I also had a very young female BC and a few weeks earlier I'd had to have my eldest female dog, Lab x BC put to sleep. The two girls had also been best of friends and my young female Collie was lost without her.

Unexpectedly, I received a call from a friend who knew a couple with the Black Lab, they were moving house with their two male retrievers and were threatening to have the Lab put to sleep the following day! When I asked why apparently it was because she caused fights with their male dogs?
I found this highly improbable and just an excuse and I was proved right as she never once in the almost ten years I had her caused any issues with other dogs, including mine.

My initial plan was to see how things went and find her a good home if she didn't gel. However, my young Collie fell in love with her virtually overnight so that was the end of the plan!

The first problem I discovered was she wasn't fully house trained. She poo-ed overnight. I played with her meal times until I found what worked and that solved that problem.

Next, I discovered she had absolutely zero recognition of her own name. I've never come across that before and it did tell me she can't have had much in the way of meaningful attention. So I renamed her and within a couple of days she was responding to her new name.

There were some obedience issues too, she was pully on a lead and her recall was hitty missy. She also jumped up. I worked hard on those and resolved them all.

Like you, in the early days, I questioned the sanity of my decision but I stuck with it for the sake of my young Collie and I'm so pleased I did. She turned into the most wonderful dog. On the one hand, she had a superb temperament, I could take her anywhere. On the other hand, she was a fantastic guard dog, and extremely loyal to me. More than once she saw off someone who was up to no good with a deep I'm- not- messing growl.

I always felt safe with her.

Hope was 5 years old when I took her in. They say you can't teach an old dog new tricks. You can,: it just takes longer. Your pup is only 11 months old. I'd be tempted to treat him as though he's just a couple of months old. Start from scratch, assume he's had no meaningful attention or kind, consistent training. Another PP said she feared he may have been abused. I had the same thought and I wouldn't rule it out. But you can give him a new fresh start with a loving, kind home. I'd also rename him in keeping with his new life as his old name may have negative connotations. It's easy to do. Just couple his old name with his new name - Rex-Sam, Rex-Sam - for a few days and then drop his old name.

I hope this is helpful. Please continue to update us with your progress x

Isit2026yet · 10/03/2026 21:51

@MonsteraDeliciosa he’s been with you 3 days. We have a 12 year old very dominant Rottweiler bitch, who was toilet trained fully at 12 weeks and never messes in the house, yet we have 3 friends she met as a pup that every time now she sees them she wees with excitement so we have to get her to greet them outside.

BiroOutlaw · 10/03/2026 22:02

Our previous dog (Springer) did excited/nervous wees as a pup and it didn't fully stop until he was about 18 months old. We did as a lot of others have advised and had very low key greetings to avoid getting sprayed feet! The nervous wees used to really stress me out as I worried about him being anxious or scared and unhappy but he was otherwise fine and just grew out of it.

Hope your new pup settles and it improves for you too, we had a vet check but no problems found.

Gingercar · 10/03/2026 22:05

Don’t worry too much. I’ve had a real assortment of rescue dogs that have had all kinds of dodgy starts, and they’ve all settled down and been fabulous dogs after a little while. It’s amazing how dogs will move forward and relax into a good, calm home. It sounds like you already have progress. Just keep making baby steps. Praise them going outside, try not to grumble at or tell off for accidents.

MonsteraDeliciosa · 11/03/2026 08:47

Oh these messages since my last post have made me cry this morning! Especially yours @AcquadiP You’re all so kind and reassuring. The Doghouse really is the best of MN - people generously giving knowledgeable help. Thank you all so much.

It ended up being a good day yesterday: there were no further excitable wees yesterday after the fountain at 11.30am. Took him outside regularly. He’s learnt the word “toilet”. Keeping everything calm all the time.

He did have an excitable wee first thing this morning when DD went through, but he’s still getting used the night & morning routine so we’ll overlook that! I’m hoping that’s it for today.

We were going to change his name, but then weren’t sure because he really needed it. But yes you’re right @AcquadiP it may have negative vibes for him so we’ll do that.

I panicked too much and too early, I realise, but two of my adult DC are very unwell and a new pup was supposed to be a lovely, therapeutic thing.
And I think he will be though: he’s so beautiful, clever and affectionate I’m sure he’s going to be the best pet.

Thanks again everyone.

OP posts:
mrsjoyfulprizeforraffiawork · 11/03/2026 15:38

I had a really nice dog from a small rescue. He was 6 years old and, it turned out, came with much mental stress from whatever had happened previously (unknown to me or rescue). It quickly became apparent that he had spent a lot of time alone against his will (he loved people and hated being alone). The worst thing I could have done was to confine him to one room. Please do not do this with your boy (you said he had this before you got him) as it will really set his progress back. You need him to know he can trust you not to do anything that distresses him. He will learn not to wee indoors quite quickly, once he relaxes with your family and realises you praise him for toileting outdoors. He is just really nervous. It may take months but hang on in there -he is still young and I am sure he will be a great dog given enough time and a lot of patience. Try not to get grumpy with him about his weeing, negative behaviour but praise him when he gets it right. (You can say "Oh dear!" in a rather disappointed tone when you see he has wee'd indoors (while he is watching you) but then just clear it up and don't make a big thing about it or he will be much saddened by having got it wrong. A mentally stressed dog is just made more so by a direct "No" from the people he wants to bond with. It will take a few months but please stick with him and you will be rewarded. Haven't read the full thread but once he has relaxed a LOT more, you will need to very slowly and gently start teaching him to be left alone sometimes.
Ps just read your update. Well done! Lots of patience is the key.

AcquadiP · 11/03/2026 18:22

MonsteraDeliciosa · 11/03/2026 08:47

Oh these messages since my last post have made me cry this morning! Especially yours @AcquadiP You’re all so kind and reassuring. The Doghouse really is the best of MN - people generously giving knowledgeable help. Thank you all so much.

It ended up being a good day yesterday: there were no further excitable wees yesterday after the fountain at 11.30am. Took him outside regularly. He’s learnt the word “toilet”. Keeping everything calm all the time.

He did have an excitable wee first thing this morning when DD went through, but he’s still getting used the night & morning routine so we’ll overlook that! I’m hoping that’s it for today.

We were going to change his name, but then weren’t sure because he really needed it. But yes you’re right @AcquadiP it may have negative vibes for him so we’ll do that.

I panicked too much and too early, I realise, but two of my adult DC are very unwell and a new pup was supposed to be a lovely, therapeutic thing.
And I think he will be though: he’s so beautiful, clever and affectionate I’m sure he’s going to be the best pet.

Thanks again everyone.

Youre very welcome @MonsteraDeliciosa

I'm thrilled your pup had such a good day yesterday. You're clearly making progress already! I feel sure he will turn into a wonderful dog. He's obviously very bright, you just need to take one step at a time and persevere. And yes, definately change his name. Keep us posted! x

MonsteraDeliciosa · 11/03/2026 19:13

@mrsjoyfulprizeforraffiawork thank you, this is very helpful. I’m afraid he’s just had a bit of an accident. He got hyped then dribbled a little in excitement, but then followed through, litres of it!

Just a little bump on the road, hopefully 🤞

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