Dog ownership seems very onerous today, need some encouragement

[Olddognewtrick]

The New Trick is not so new any more, 5 this month. I was married when we got him, now divorced - my XH suggested rehoming him when we split up and that seemed unthinkable. It's still unthinkable, but I'm quite overwhelmed with life in general at the moment and he's just adding to that.

I work full time and he can't be left for hours so he goes to day care 5 days a week - price has just gone up by nearly £100 per month. Overall he costs me over £900 a month, which would make a massive difference to my life if I didn't have to spend it. I'm not interested in a relationship at the moment, but I am trying to have a social life (which I think is fair enough!) and he's a huge constraint on what I can do.

And then while I was fretting about all this today, he jumped over the garden wall into the neighbour's garden to presumably chase their cat 😭I only have a low wall on that side, have put trellis up all the way down but hadn't realised a bit had broken leaving a gap. He's always out on a long line anyway because of the cat issue, so it was quick and easy to get him back, but I'm upset and mortified.

I think I am going to have to get proper fencing put all the way down and it's a long garden so a few grand that I'd rather not spend. I'm thinking about moving in the next two or three years and I'm already worrying about finding day care for him when I move.

Argh. Life is a struggle at the moment anyway, and he's making it worse not better 😭 I'm not able to think about solutions at the moment - any suggestions? Please don't tell me I'm a shit dog owner, I already feel like that!

Could you look for a job wfh, or at least hybrid which would reduce the number of days DDog goes to daycare?

I would have a look at Borrow My Doggy or similar. Ideally, you want someone else who would love to have a dog, but sole-ownership is too much for them. That way you cover each other’s holidays, have a little bit of freedom and flexibility, but the dog also has security. In your case, obviously, you’d ideally find someone who is at home during the day. Might not work out, but I think it’s definitely worth a try.

Insurance is £11 a month, booster jabs are about £80 a year, worming / tick / flea treatment is £70 every three months, grooming I do myself. Have never put a dog in kennels. And food is £30 a month. Like I said, nowhere near £900 a month. It wouldn’t be £900 a year.

No offence but I walk my dog myself, train it myself and it’s never gone to daycare. It does have good quality food.

If you need daycare and dog walkers, it suggests you don’t really have the lifestyle to own a dog. My insurance is £11 a month, I’ve always bought the cheapest and I’ve never needed to claim in the last 20 years. Parasite treatment is £70 and lasts 3 months.

That's...fortunate

It shouldn't be any harder these days, though obviously it can be easier if 2 or more people are there to look after him.
These days it is often easier to find wfh jobs, or a dog walker (licensed/insured to avoid issues) who can just come round at lunchtime-that should not cost a lot.

Whatever, my dog has a great life. I do training externally as whilst I can teach her myself she enjoys doing different things and it is sensible to ensure she is comfortable with people other than me so would not be too stressed if something happened to me.
Good for you never having had to claim on insurance, my dog hurt her leg in a freak accident and needed surgery, physio and ongoing care so I was bloody glad I had insurance, cheapest is not always worth having.

What food do you feed ?

But generally I don’t think trivialising the @Olddognewtrick ‘s problems is very helpful.

OP having a dog is a huge commitment and like you I got one when I was part of a couple and had a job that he could come with me each day. Then we broke up and I had to change job. Other half who always professed to be huge animal lover said to put him in dog home! No way could I have considered that as I loved him to bits by this time.

I had a huge panic at how I was going to manage but luckily my parents give me some £££ and I bought a place outright. I got a part-time job which still meant too many hours on his own but I walked him before work, then straight after, then again in the evening. I also spent nearly all my free time with him throwing his ball, playing with his toys, hiding treats, giving cuddles etc. It was pretty exhausting to be honest and I used to feel like a single parent.

Hobbies stopped, dating stopped. I only visited people where I could take the dog. Luckily I am a huge introvert and so lack of social life didn't bother me too much and I was always out and about with dog anyway.

We're 12 years down the track now and I have spent a fortune on him. I mean thousands and thousands. Insurance covered two cruciate surgeries when he was two (thank you petplan) but as he got older I stopped with the insurance (don't do this!) and had to fork out £3K in 2024 when he started having huge problems with his stomach and was losing a ton of weight. Actually it was more than 3K - that was just to see the specialists and then there was steroids, regular blood tests, visits to vets each week, b12 shots etc. Probably cost me nearer 5-6k in the end.

Owning him has been a life changing experience. I have utterly adored him and spoilt him rotten (like really, really spoiled him!). It absolutely did change the direction of my life though and I do sometimes wonder where I would have been if I had not got him.

Like you I tried doggy daycare for a while when I was working but apart from the cost and hassle of having to drive him there each day I got hacked off with the woman who used to get ratty if he barked. Eh, you are looking after dogs...surely that comes with the territory.

Eventually when he was about 5 I got work that I could take him with me again although it was a very stressful job which I think impacted him too.

Old and retired now (well fifties, so sort of old) and so we are together all day long now. My food bill is huge ever since I got him and he very early on discovered steak, lamb, venison etc and so getting him to eat dog food became almost impossible. My own fault I know.

I also bought him the best dog beds money could buy which with hindsight are good but probably weren't necessary as he sleeps on the couch or my bed. Still one good bed is probably a good idea but I bought him like 4 of them.

Only you can decide what to do with yours but I just wanted to say that you are not imaging it. Having a dog and doing it properly is time consuming, very tying and will hugely limit your social life/holidays etc. It will also bring you lots of joy and happiness and love and contentment.

Will I get another dog? It's going to be so tricky when he goes. The house will feel so empty without him but at the same time the thought of saving on groomers, vets and the huge food bills is very tempting indeed. Also I would quite like to stay home some days in my pj's and just have a duvet day. This is all impossible with a dog (ok not impossible I guess but I couldn't take the guilt of his sad looking wee eyes wondering why his usual schedule was being disrupted)

At least if I get another one I will know what the heck I am letting myself in for. Sadly there are lots of dogs out there barely walked, left alone all day and fed cheap dog food.

If you can look after him well the right thing is to keep him. If you can't then the right thing is to find him a home where someone else can do it. It's not easy at all to make the decision. I wish you luck.

Well it's unreasonable to want to walk your dog before and after work. That is what all dog owners do. I work (shift work) and am a single parent to two young kids. We are all out the house at 0645 every morning to walk the dogs and then again after school.
We all enjoy it. My kids love being outdoors and running about in the woods with the dogs. It's why we got dogs. We want to live that lifestyle. You obviously don't, which is perfectly reasonable but that's what having a dog is.
£900 a month is insane and would be totally unsustainable for most people I suspect. It also sounds like having a dog doesn't fit into your lifestyle in terms of socialising anymore.
Was it a joint dog? Is your ex-husband contributing financially and practically.
Could you split time with the dog 50/50 so it lightens the burden on you.
Can you explain in more detail why the dog can't be left at all? Is it separation anxiety? Destruction? Could it be worked on with a behaviourist?
Most dogs can be left comfortably for 3-4 hours which would give you more options in terms of perhaps reducing costs by using a mid day walker not day care.
It feels like you have ruled out most solutions other than rehoming the dog.
Its a shame for the dog as the reality of going into kennels is that it will be left for 23/24 hours weather it's okay or not. A foster would be better but the reality is that there are very few spaces available.
Perhaps you could explore local smaller rescues or breed specific ones who often have foster style system and owners waiting for a dog that suits them and see if anything is available.
I do not advocate people giving up their dogs when they become inconvenient. A dog is a big commitment but it does sound like you're trying your best and you also have to consider your own needs at all. Obviously the dog does not come above you.
If you're going to re-home him please do it now now in two years time. A 5 year old dog is undesirable enough but we all know older dogs rarely find homes.

Sorry that should read 'unreasonable not to want to walk your dog before and after work'