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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

Original poster

Dog struggling with loss of owner

19 replies

XenoBitch · 23/02/2026 19:34

My parents have a lovely rescue dog that they have had for a few years now. He is perfect. He has to stay on his lead as can not be trusted (sighthound).
Last week, my DF took him out for a walk and dropped down dead. Dog was trapped on his lead in the rain, then got taken to a strangers house whilst my my mum was found and was in the ambulance with my dad.

Since then, he had been avoiding my mum (he is usually a very cuddly boy). He has been wrecking the sofa my dad was always led on, and he has started peeing indoors, which he has never done.

Obviously he has gone through trauma, and he can't articulate it anymore than we can explain it to him.

What helps? DM has lost her spouse and is in bits, but she can't get comfort from her dog as he is struggling too. I don't know what to suggest to her.

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 23/02/2026 19:51

Oh I’m so very very sorry for your loss. The homeopathic remedy ignatia was suggested for me (and my dog) following a loss.

Original poster
XenoBitch · 23/02/2026 19:54

Wolfiefan · 23/02/2026 19:51

Oh I’m so very very sorry for your loss. The homeopathic remedy ignatia was suggested for me (and my dog) following a loss.

Thanks x
What form was that in?

OP posts:
PrizedPickledPopcorn · 23/02/2026 19:58

Oh how awful for you all! I think someone needs to take the time to speak to a vet- maybe they will be able to advise, or proscribe a sedative type thing.

I’m so sorry for your loss. I know that seeing/being with their dead buddy is helpful, but being trapped in the cold and wet with him, then taken away from him by a stranger, will have upset him. Poor lad.

Wolfiefan · 23/02/2026 20:02

Pillules
i would also suggest changing where they walk etc maybe even changing routine a bit.

istolethetalisker · 23/02/2026 20:05

Plug in pheromone diffuser?

I am so very sorry for your loss.

HangryBrickShark · 23/02/2026 20:06

So sorry for all concerned. Dr Bach to a flower remedy called Star of Bethlehem which is a herbal tincture that you can mix with the dogs water or put a couple of drops on his tongue. SOB is indicated in cases of bereavement.

Original poster
XenoBitch · 23/02/2026 20:07

Wolfiefan · 23/02/2026 20:02

Pillules
i would also suggest changing where they walk etc maybe even changing routine a bit.

Thanks. My dad walked their dog when mum was at work, so where he died was a common walk for him.
DM has been walking him elsewhere. Neither of them want to revisit the road my dad collapsed in.
She had been keeping to his usual routine... walks and dinner.

OP posts:
AgentPidge · 23/02/2026 20:17

I'm very sorry for your loss.

Original poster
XenoBitch · 23/02/2026 20:20

AgentPidge · 23/02/2026 20:17

I'm very sorry for your loss.

thank you. It is still very surreal right now.

OP posts:
Ihateboris · 23/02/2026 20:25

Oh how sad for everyone. I'm so very sorry for your loss.

VickyEadieofThigh · 25/02/2026 20:48

OP, it was only last week. You're all grieving massively and so is the dog. He has no outlet for his bewilderment and loss and it's coming out in this way.

Like all of you, he needs time (our dog was rehomed to us after her owner died, without warning at home; the dog was found with her and had to be physically removed...).

I'm so very sorry for your awful loss and for the poor dog's bewilderment. It WILL pass for him. xxx

Beamur · 25/02/2026 20:52

How sad for you all - my sympathies.
You can get collars that have a pheromone on them that is calming? Similar to plug ins. Rescue remedy in drinking water.
Might be worth asking a dog behaviourist for advice to help the dog feel less traumatised. Do you have an item of your Dad's clothing you could put in the dogs bed perhaps?

Original poster
XenoBitch · 25/02/2026 20:53

Beamur · 25/02/2026 20:52

How sad for you all - my sympathies.
You can get collars that have a pheromone on them that is calming? Similar to plug ins. Rescue remedy in drinking water.
Might be worth asking a dog behaviourist for advice to help the dog feel less traumatised. Do you have an item of your Dad's clothing you could put in the dogs bed perhaps?

DM has got in touch with the rescue he came from as they have life time back up, and can put her in touch with one of their behaviourists.

The clothing is a great idea, I will suggest that.

OP posts:
Original poster
XenoBitch · 25/02/2026 21:01

VickyEadieofThigh · 25/02/2026 20:48

OP, it was only last week. You're all grieving massively and so is the dog. He has no outlet for his bewilderment and loss and it's coming out in this way.

Like all of you, he needs time (our dog was rehomed to us after her owner died, without warning at home; the dog was found with her and had to be physically removed...).

I'm so very sorry for your awful loss and for the poor dog's bewilderment. It WILL pass for him. xxx

You are right. No human would be expected to be over things by now. He is such a sensitive boy anyway.

OP posts:
PrizedPickledPopcorn · 25/02/2026 22:10

I keep thinking of you all. I’m sure in time they will be able to comfort each other. Your mum’s body language and pheromones are probably all unfamiliar to him at the moment, too.

Original poster
XenoBitch · 25/02/2026 22:18

PrizedPickledPopcorn · 25/02/2026 22:10

I keep thinking of you all. I’m sure in time they will be able to comfort each other. Your mum’s body language and pheromones are probably all unfamiliar to him at the moment, too.

Aw, thank you, and you are right. Dogs can read when things are different.
I am going there this weekend. DM said her dog needs some cuddles from me ❤. I will be making him some calming biscuits (similar to the Lilly's Bedtime biscuits you can buy).

OP posts:
3smallpups · 25/02/2026 22:32

I’m so sorry for your loss
your vets would be able to give him some short term anxiety medication if you take him in and explain
I’m sure his anxiety and sadness is upsetting your mum more x

Fibrous · 25/02/2026 22:37

sighthounds are very sensitive (I have two). They seem to read my mood better than I can. He will be upset for as long as everyone around him is upset. Time will heal. Sorry to you all for your loss, that must be a big shock.

whereswilson · 25/02/2026 22:42

Sorry for your loss. My dog was traumatised by a large hail storm. The vet prescribed him a few days of benzodiazapine type drug which seemed to break the cycle of anxiety (he was too scared to go outside).

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