Rehoming dog

[KurtCobainLover]

I'm probably going to get flamed on here but I need advice on whether or not to rehome my beloved chihuahua. She's an amazing dog and is much loved by the household. However, I have bipolar and severe depression and struggle to leave the house so she isn't really being walked much - I do have a big garden that she can run around but it's not the same as a nice long walk which she loves. I can't afford a dog walker.

I'm beginning to think that she needs a home where they can meet her needs much more than I can.

I spoke to a breed rescue last night and they were lovely. Talked me through their rehoming process and emphasised that they wouldn't put her in a home unless they were sure it was the right one. She would go into foster first so they can assess her and make sure she goes to the right place.

I felt a bit rushed last night as she was already talking about having a foster mum come and pick her up which scared me so I said I needed time to think it through and would get back to her.

What would you do?

Rescues often do want to move quickly once someone has made an official approach because we (I do Golden Retriever rescuing) want to get the dog into the best possible home straight away, particularly if we think the dog might be suffering in any way - and not being walk is a red flag to a lot of rescues (breed depending), so you can't really blame them for wanting to get the dog into a better situation. That's not a snide comment at you, just my experience based off how I know I have reacted in the past to hearing about dogs not living their best life.

Unless there is anyone who can step up and walk your dog, I do think they are right to want to progress this quickly - all dogs deserve a good walk at least once a day. And you deserve to be able to live guilt free, knowing she is happy. Sometimes giving a dog a chance at a new home is the best thing you can do for them and for yourself.

That being said if she's an older dog, and I do mean old not 5-9, then I would be minded to keep her. Older dogs still need exercise, yes, but being re-homed when they get older can be incredibly stressful and particularly I imagine for a dog like yours which was bred to be a companion to one person.

Rehoming is a very difficult decision and it sounds like you want the best for your dog. Certainly if it were a larger dog that had been bred for an active life, then rehoming might be the best solution. But i wonder if you couldn’t add enough enrichment to make up for the lack of walks. Could you hide smelly treats in the garden for her to seek out?, or watch some trick training videos on YouTube (kikopup is an excellent source), to keep her mind occupied and her body moving? If you do decide that rehoming is the best thing to do, know that you are doing it to give her the best life possible.

Thank you both for your lovely considered responses. They've helped me to understand why the rescue was so keen to take her quickly.

I do try and do enrichment activities but it's not the same as walking - she may be small but she's very active and needs a good long walk a day really otherwise she gets very yappy in the house.

I think I'm going to speak to the children (15 & 16) and then call the rescue. DC will be upset but they don't really have a lot to do with the dog as she's definitely mine rather than a family dog.

Thank you for being so nice.

can’t the kids walk her?! My 14 year old DD exercises our working dogs a few times a week.

Definitely not going to flame you for trying to do right by your dog but I think as a first resort, I would try and come to an agreement with the kids about walking her given their ages. At 15 & 16 they should be more than capable, I was taking our family dog out when I was 12.

Second resort would be a dog walker a couple times a week - is this something you could afford? If this was paired with the kids taking her out say once a week each then she’d be being walked more days than not.

Third resort, friend or family member that could rehome her? I’d always rather someone I know and trust than a stranger.

Rehoming via a rescue would be the last resort, which I appreciate you may already be at.

DC are with me every other week (50/50 split with their dad) and will walk her occasionally but it's not consistent for lots of reasons I'm not going to go into on this thread.

Unfortunately, I've had to reduce my hours at work a lot so I can't afford a dog walker - I've crunched the budget so many times to try and make it work but I just can't.

When I say I'm going to talk to the DC isn't so much involving them in the decision process as letting them know what is happening.

You should never feel guilty for protecting your own mental health or making a decision that you think is best your dog 💐

How old is your dog? Older dogs need less exercise. If you go in garden and throw a mini tennis ball to other end of garden dog should run up and down the garden to return ball. Just keep repeating this to get dog to run up and down garden. Teens could do this too. If the dog is young it would probably be best to re-home but if older I'd try to keep it because it will love and trust you and companion animals have been shown to help to improve MH issues. Are you sure you would not feel worse if you rehomed your dog then didn't have do og to love and comfort you anymore? Think carefully before you make a decision and try the small ball throwing first. When my DH had a knee operation and couldn't walk really for several months that was what he did and his 2 older small dogs seemed fine with this and a long walk both days over the weekends. He would sit in chair at one end of big garden and throw balls to other end for an hour each day so dogs ran up and down garden almost continually for an hour each day in 2 half hour slots.

Do we also assume the dog is left for long periods whilst you work?

OP - trust your first instincts and let the chihuahua rescue rehome her to a family who can give her the life you want her to have.

Try the cinnamon trust. It may be they have a volunteer in your area who can help. It would be because of your health conditions.

No, I work from home and am very rarely in the office. On those days I’m gone 4 hours and she’s normally asleep when I get back.

Cinnamon trust is for 65+ or terminally ill, but they may be able to offer advice.

I think you're doing the right thing @KurtCobainLover in looking to rehome your dog if you feel like you can't meet her needs. I think she will be happier getting daily walks, as most dogs would be.

No need to feel guilty. You are thinking about what is best for her and the rescue centre sound like they will find her a good home.

I am sorry to hear you are so unwell OP. It may well be that rehoming the dog is the best thing for your mental health, as it will remove a source of stress.

However, I would also carefully consider whether your dog actually benefits your mental health in some ways, and losing her permanently may actually harm your healing process?

My lovely friend was in a similar situation recently - albeit her dog is much bigger, so his behaviour when he wasn't getting enough exercise was becoming problematic.

Her ex-husband and adult son actually kindly agreed to take the dog while she recovered - this was ideal. She is now somewhat on the road to recovery now has the dog back and is benefiting greatly from his presence, and the walks she takes him on etc.

Is there anyone who might do this for you?

If you are having counselling, I would speak to your counsellor about the options and possible ramifications. My worry, I suppose, is that depriving yourself of the dog could almost be a form of self punishment - maybe you feel on a subconscious level you don't deserve to have the dog in your life?

I don't know, OP - as someone who doesn't know you or anything about you really it's impossible to give much of a definitive opinion. I just wanted to flag this up as a possibility.

It's also sometimes possible to find free dog care on line, via sites like Borrow My Doggy?

Take care. Really hope you feel better soon.

Have you thought about seeing if there is someone local who might walk her? Sites like borrow my dog might be an option.
a family member of mine often walks a dog for some one in their village when they are busy with work. They do it because they love the dog walks but don’t want to have their own at the moment as they are recently retired and want to do lots of travelling.

I'd be concerned that rehoming her is an act of self harm and would make you spiral worse.
I think she unlikely has high exercise needs. You have two teenagers at home, so even if she isn't walked as much as ideal, she has interaction with people. She loves you and you love her.
I don't think you should go through with this.

Might be worth trying borrow my doggy - it is a good service that links people who want to walk dogs with people who can’t manage to walk theirs.

I’d recommend giving some serious thought as well to the benefit of having a dog with regards to mental health. It can make a huge difference. Obviously you don’t want her wellbeing to suffer at but it is another aspect.