Haven’t seen neighbours dog

[numberblocks54321]

Our neighbours have an extremely well loved older dog that is taken out in a kind of wagon as presumably too old or frail to walk. I would normally see them about twice the day.

I don’t know the neighbours very well , would pop a Christmas card round and have their number but that’s about it.

I haven’t seen the dog out for a good two maybe even three months now. Perhaps that is because it is winter but there have been mild days and the dog is normally wrapped in blankets.

if the dog has passed away I know this would have been absolutely devastating to them, and I want to ask if they are ok but my husband thinks I’m being nosey and if the dog has died then I’m just opening up a wound. We have never had dogs before ourselves.

Should I message to say we miss seeing their dog are they ok or should I mind my own business?

i would ask them,
they might want to talk about it

Yes ask them, it's kind to do so and they'll appreciate your concern

When we lost our dog people we didn't know well would ask us where she was.

It was heartbreaking really. I wish they hadn't. We didn't want to talk about it until we were ready, especially to people we didn't know very well. The thing that made it worse was on almost every occasion after we told them she had died the very next thing they would say was 'Are you going to get another one?' Like she was a kettle we could replace from Argos.

Perhaps when you see them next have a little chat about ordinary stuff and let them bring it up if they want to.

Should I message to say we miss seeing their dog

Absolutely do not say that!!! That just makes it about you.

I wouldn’t raise it. Dog loss is incredibly personal, and in a best case scenario they might appreciate it. In a worse can one they might burst into tears and you will have upset them.

When I lost my first dog as an adult, I couldn’t talk about her for years. The last thing I’d have wanted was someone asking me about her to satiate their own curiosity. You’re a neighbour, not a friend.

I wouldn’t text, but I would mention it when I next saw them in the street. I find English people find it very difficult to speak about bereavements. My family from Europe and Asia find it totally normal to discuss what we see as a part of every day life. People and pets come into our lives and leave again. So my family would find it really odd if you didn’t raise it, like you weren’t acknowledging their upset. I find it difficult to navigate with my English friends who find it almost impossible to reference death.

We lost our old dog 18 months ago and I found it too upsetting for a while when people asked after him.
I couldn’t even walk where I used to walk him without crying.

We've just lost our dog. I would not appreciate that message. I popped a post on fb to let our friends/ family etc know but if you aren't a fb friend or i havent already let you know another way then we probably arent close enough for you to be so intrusive.

I wouldn't send them a message, but when you see them out and about in the spring if the dog isn't with them, then I think you could ask. I have done this with my neighbours, and just said how sorry I am before moving on in topic. I wouldn't ever ask how they died or if they are getting another one, unless they offer the information.

Thank you , good to hear opinions from dog lovers. I won’t message. I imagine they’re heartbroken

Our dog died last month. If my neighbour asks about her I’m hardly going to break down! But I’m not very sentimental about pets - I know I’ll outlive them and it was better she went when she did rather than live in pain. Of course I’m sad.
I imagine when you next bump in to them they’ll tell you. Some people like talking about it, some don’t. Take their lead.

I agree that I would let them bring it up, just have a nice chat with them

I hated people asking about my dog, just didn't want to talk about.

Just message and say we haven’t seen you for a while so just checking in after the cold weather or something similar. Leaves it open for them to tell you if there’s anything to tell

When we lost our dog (who was pretty well known) we were so distraught we didn’t make an announcement or anything but just told people as we saw them. I did find it a bit odd that our immediate neighbours didn’t say anything. They are very kind but quite young and I think they just didn’t know how to deal with it (they also have a dog). So a long winded way of saying that I think a little card or note through the door would be really welcome and a kind thing to do.

I wouldn't text, but I would enquire if I saw them in person and just say you haven't seen DDog in a while and that you hope theyre ok and maybe just keeping warm. If someone cared enough to ask after my pet I would really appreciate that personally. Whether they were still with us or passed on.

My last dog died eighteen months ago. It's the greatest loss I've ever known: harder than my parents and closest friend (and previous dogs - this one was different). I would really appreciate a check-in from you. To know my dog is in other people's thoughts is a warming feeling; that he touched the lives of others in some way, and is still thought about and in people's memories. It gives his life more meaning, for me; his ripples are still felt.
As evidenced by PPs, everyone is different, and not everyone would appreciate it.
There's no right answer.

Do not say a thing!
This happened to us last year, we lost our beloved dog after 13 years and at the end she couldn’t manage walks so we kept her inside and smothered her with love until the time came.
That day was horrific, especially for my Autistic daughter. It caused so much upset and trauma that we dealt with it, we bought her home from the vets and buried her in the garden. This was a slight comfort to my daughter as she was still close to her.

3 weeks later, just as our lives had started to adapt a little, our incredibly nosey neighbour across the road spotted my daughter and I leaving the house and came rushing out to ask if our dog was ok as he hadn’t ’seen it about’.

Well, you may as well just have shot my daughter in the stomach. She was hysterical again. Just someone asking innocently caused so much pain for her. We had to go back inside to calm her down.

I know you mean well, but please think before you ask. You honestly don’t know what just asking a simple question can do. They may not want to explain or talk about it. It’s an incredibly emotional situation and a very personal one for each individual person. It’s like opening old wounds. I’d maybe leave it, if you see them out, let them approach you first.

I can see others disagree with me but having recently lost my beloved dog of 17, I still would appreciate the message - I want to talk about her, even though her death has broken my heart

I would enquire after how they all are, as that encompasses their dog, and if they want to share then they can.
I didn't tell our neighbours about our dog when she died, apart from our immediate ones, but should anyone ask when we were out and about I would tell them. The worst bit was before, when we knew we were saying goodbye later that week, our neighbour on the other side asked how my dog was as she hadn't seen her for a while, and I just burst into tears and sort of blurted out it was her last few days. I apologised to her a few weeks later & she completely understood. I still miss her so much and it's been 10 months 💔