Rehoming dog after baby

[Butningembers]

I know this is something I’ll get some heat for but here goes….

we have a reactive rescue dog who is quite reactive of strangers. She has nipped on a few occasions but never anything really serious. We had our baby boy 7 months ago and other than a couple of growls (which I posted about on another thread) she’s been fine. We have stair gates all over the house but they can quite comfortably be in the same room together (always supervised by us though)

This evening she went for my in laws dog, they both had treats but this doesn’t usually bother her. They were very scared by her reaction however I didn’t see it (she was staying there as she always does 2 nights a week)

Although this isn’t normal behaviour for her, it has happened before (although not with their dog). It’s almost like she loses herself momentarily as I genuinely don’t think she means it. Problem is, I don’t know where I am with this now that our boy is nearly mobile. My head says I need to consider re-homing due to this unpredictable behaviour but my heart just can’t face it. She’s had lots of training but I’m just not sure this is something that can be trained out of her. I know we can separate them but she likes to be around us and surely that’s going to be almost impossible once we have a fully mobile toddler?!

Dont even know what I want from this post, just feel I need to offload as currently can’t sleep / can barely see through tears 😢

I don’t think you’re unreasonable to want to rehome. First you’ll have to check there’s nothing physically wrong that caused the recent problem. She would probably be happier in a home with a couple of other fairly confident but laid back dogs and somewhere without children.
Rehoming is often seen really negatively on MN but I’ve had quite a few older dogs and they adapt really quickly and usually settle well in a new home especially if there’s another dog who is the boss. Some dogs do remember their previous owner but most of them don’t seem to, or if they do they’re not bothered.

It’s difficult because if she’s guarding you may never get her out of this. You could make sure she doesn’t get treats at times other than i.e. on walks; I do this as training and last thing at night for a tablet. But yes if you really feel there is a risk you may be best rehoming. You could ask locally first perhaps? I think I would look around for a good trainer first, if possible.

Vet check.
A reactive dog shouldn’t be spending a couple nights a week with another dog.
I bet these incidents don’t come out of the blue. You may not know enough about dog behaviour to understand them. A proper behaviourist may help but ultimately if you don’t feel you can keep your child safe then you can’t keep the dog.

@Wolfiefanshe is not reactive around people she knows and that includes my in-laws. She has been spending a couple of nights a week there every week for around 2-3 years and goes there whenever we are away.
We have seen multiple trainers and she’s done really well with training. 99% of the time (unless around strangers) she has no issues. It’s just this unpredictably that comes out of the blue that makes me very nervous with a soon to be very unpredictable mobile baby

Training isn’t a behaviourist.
And it may well be predictable to someone who knows more about dog behaviour. But if you don’t feel safe then you’re stuck. Rehoming a dog like this would not be easy though.

It is never wrong to prioritise the safety of a human child over the comfort of a dog.

It’s great she’s responded to training, and a lot can be achieved with the right behavioural approach, but you might not be the right home to do that training if the toddler is likely to be a potential constant trigger/stressor; I also think the combination of child and reactive dog is going to be very stressful for you to manage because you need to be very on top of everything, who is where, etc.

I’d also be prepared for the possibility that you may not be able to find a new home or rescue space for her with a history of being reactive and that you might be faced with the possibility of having to put her to sleep.

To reassure you slightly; dogs' reactions to other dogs are rarely a predictor of reactions to humans of any age.
Your parents should take far more notice of both dogs' body language and intervene before either them snaps at the other. Set them up to succeed. Only give treats in separate crates.
I would certainly make sure that you never leave baby and dog together at your parents' home. Your parents aren't attentive enough.

Poor dog! She’s had a scrap with another dog - that’s no reason to think she will be any more of a danger. Dogs occasionally have disagreements. I’m assuming neither were hurt so it’s more noise than anything. It’s the equivalent of us humans having an argument. It happens. It sound horrendous when it happens but try not to overreact. It sounds like you are doing all the right things with regards your baby and the dog.
There is no reason at all to rehome from what you have said. Keep the two dogs separate as much as possible and always around food. My two have scraps from time to time but it has never escalated beyond noise. One was scratched once but that was more accidental than deliberate.
Keep the dog separate and meet on neutral territory for awhile. And give them plenty of space away from one another when they are together.

If you have gates you can keep baby away from dog. You say your dog is ok with people but occasionally not with another dog. As previous poster stated dogs do occasionally have an argument and of often.involves food. Give treats when dogs are separate not together. I'd keep going with behaviour training and keep baby and dog separate. In time your dog will get used to your DC.

If the dog has 'nipped' people in the past and it is known to be reactive, then it is bound to bite your child at some point. If you couldn't prevent it before, you won't be able to prevent it on the future. If it is a rottweiler or equivalent then you definitely have to get rid. If it is a lap dog then you have to decide how much you mind if it bites your child. I realise that sounds a bit cold, but it is realistic. No amount training or behavior therapy is really going to remove the risk.

Completely agree - this is a matter of when, not if. I hate the way people use the word “nip” to play down the fact that the dog has bitten. You are going to spend your life extremely stressed and you run the very real risk of becoming another “dog bit baby’s face” statistic.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cqxy29qvq9do?app-referrer=deep-link

Sorry but the dog needs to be rehomed. If there is even a shred of doubt in your mind about your child's safety then you need to do the right thing for your child. They are your first priority. The signs are there, dont ignore them.

I feel like you need to hear its okay.

Yes, You should rehome.

Baby > Dog

I would talk to your own vet for advice and get an opinion from a recommended behaviourist if you don’t already have one. It’s such a horrible situation for you and you need real life support from people who know you and your dog, who are experts. I’d also make it clear that all options are on the table for you, that you don’t just want them to validate you in your choice to do x, if that’s the case.

You can’t live with stair gates forever. How will you feel if one of your DC’s friends gets bitten. I’m a dog owner and even though it’s sad but for the dog’s sake and everybody else’s I think you need to rehome. You can consider another dog at some point.

She's as much a part of the family as anyone, and history appears to show she has never hurt anyone in her "pack". She reacts at your parent's dog out of uncertainty that she doesn't feel at your house. Also with the colossal amount of good dogs being abandoned she's quite likely to not find another home and therefore pts. Might be an unpopular opinion but that's my opinion

Do you know of anyone in your social circle who would take her on?toddlers are worse than babies with dogs they move independently

What do you mean by "went for the other dog". As another poster said, there's a big difference between a lot of noise but no marks or drawing blood...
Dogs do have noisy arguments from time to time. If there was no actual harm, I'd not be worried.

I’m sorry @Butningembers but I’m not going to give you permission to feel no guilt if you choose to revoke. You made a commitment to a living being that being a rescue has probably had a shitty start in life and are now going to get rid of her. I presume she’s a bot older too, so with both those things what kind of life, if any, do you think she is going to have? As a responsible owner you should not be putting her in situations that trigger her, as pp have said this is not a “training” issue. Do get a vet check and speak to a decent behaviourist before making your decision though, but you would need to commit to whatever management is necessary to keep everyone safe and ok.

You make the decision you need to protect your child but please don’t get another pet, they are not disposable.

My dog couldn’t share space with another dog. Too reactive. Can that be stopped?