Why do people run up to dogs

[Quagmireschin]

2 year old golden retriever.

She’s very anxious always has been. Absolutely loves you once she’s seen you a couple of time, we have friends round to the house all the time with no issue.

But she cannot bear strangers running up to her in public. She cowers and barks at them, inching forwards, then jumping back. It’s not based out of aggression, it’s anxiety based.

We try and mitigate it, we have had trainers to help us. It’s just part of who she is.

Usually, I walk her 45 mins in the morning, dh walks her 45 mins at night. We do it at times when it will be quiet. Better weather is so much easier and I walk her for an hour and a half or so in the woods, but it’s a sea of slippy mud at this time of year.

Today, routine was out of the window as I had an early hospital appointment. It’s fault, I should have skipped the walk and waited for dh, the park was busy, but I thought I would risk it.

Two separate people came bounding up to her. Even though she wears a harness saying “in training” and “not friendly.” I took her out of their path, shouted “she’s not friendly”, got her to sit next to me and wait, had her focus on me in the hope they would walk by (I do this with everyone, she’s absolutely fine when people just walk past, and will walk past people on the street with no issue, but in the park, it gives a clear indication that I am training and we shouldn’t be disturbed. most people are fine with this, and just smile or say how good she is and carry on). Both of them were just suddenly in her face, waving their arms about and making high pitched noises at her.

She is barking and cowering , I’m saying, “please, she’s very anxious, I am training her” both times I got “but she’s a golden retriever, why is she so aggressive? Come here stop being silly.”

I had to tell them both very clearly to please stop trying to touch her.

Why can’t people just leave dogs be, especially when they can see the owner is trying to get them to focus. It drives me mad.

“but she’s a golden retriever..."

That's why. As soon as I saw the breed, I thought that. There are so so many of them and they are almost all adorable, friendly, soppy things.

I also have an anxious dog who doesn't like new people who give him attention. It is awful, sorry.

I don't think i have petted anybodies dog without permission, and never went over to them, i am sorry that happned to you and the dog.

My advice would be not to stop and put her in a sit, but to keep moving. Turn 90 or 180 degrees, say NO THANKS, and keep walking. Be comfortable with being rude, and looking mad to someone who has never had a reactive dog. Avoid busy parks. If you can't get away from them, put her behind you and body block them. Idiots.

Oh yeah. People think that all golden retrievers want to cuddle everyone.

Yes, I thought GR straight away too. I don't know why people won't leave your dog alone when asked, it's ridiculous. I think you need a yellow tabard for you or your dog saying "nervous dog, please give space" or similar, a harness isn't going to be seen until someone is close. When my dog was younger and sometimes reactive to other dogs, he wore a tabard with the relevant wording, and it seemed to help, though obviously you always get some numpties who won't take any notice!

I've been saying this on Mumsnet repeatedly, for months (that Golden's are like any other breed and can have issues). No one pays the slightest bit of attention - even when I tell them that I have owned Golden's for over twenty years, my mother bred them for thirty years, I breed them and have for twenty years, I do re-homing of ones with behavioural issues nearly weekly.

Most Golden Retrievers are lovely but they are prone to lots of difficult behavioural issues but people see Golden Retriever and lose the single braincell they have. If they saw a Malinois with the same damn vest they would stay clear - even though the two breeds have a similar bite force.

Best advice is to turn your girl around and walk away from them. And don't be afraid to say fuck off. I say it. A lot - including to people with children. By that point they'll be so angry at you for daring to swear that they forget all about the dog.

Sadly, if you're polite or you sit and wait, people just ignore it.

It's really bloody irritating, OP, and I am so sorry. (And I'd love to see a photo of your beautiful girl...)

If they saw a Malinois with the same damn vest they would stay clear

So true.

Nor me.

My old Goldie was like that- not reactive or nasty, but absolutely did NOT want to be petted or fussed by strangers. Would not leave her alone- “but she’s a golden retriever!!!” As if I didn’t know my own dog. She would cower and hide behind me, turn her face away. If she was off lead she would just keep a wide berth and trot away from strangers, but on a lead she couldn’t get away.

In the end I just had to be rude: Don’t touch my dog! Leave her alone! I would move to stand between her and the twat trying to get up close and personal. And don’t get me started on free range kids…
Shouting something like “ don’t touch her I’ve just treated her for a flea infestation “ worked with some of the mummies.

You have to protect your dog from these idiots- even the most gentle golden will snap if pushed hard enough, and if they do they will pay the ultimate price-pts

I usually walk her at 7am, dh after dark. And it’s only winter we stick to the park. Loads of woods and nature reserves around us, but this time of year, it’s a sea of mud and I had a couple of back surgeries last year, so I’m scared of slipping.

I don’t stop and sit everytime someone walks by - but you can tell the ones who will probably want to stroke her. I don’t do it walking down the street, but walking through the park, there are just some people who you know are going to want to stop.

This is the third golden I’ve owned as an adult, and my parents also had them, so I grew up with them.

I can’t stand the one size fits all personality that people project on to them.

They all have their own personalities. You can’t just see a golden retriever and assume it will be a cuddly ball of fluff who loves everyone.

If they saw a Malinois with the same damn vest they would stay clear...

Don't bet on it. I've had people do this to me when I've had nervous ridgebacks, GSDs, and Rotties. Then they look at you like it's your fault when the dog snaps at them. Per above, I've given up being polite, and just ask whether their tetanus is up to date before they stroke the dog. That usually wakes them up.

Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.

It is a tabard. Sorry, I just call it a harness. It says “in training - not friendly”

But they see a cute looking dog and think it’s not serious.

Oh and @TheHungryHungryLandsharksshe’s a little beaut.

I mean, at home, with the kids, family and friends, she is just a fluffy, extra large lap dog.

But honestly, if people run up to a strange dog, waving their arms about and squealing, it’s unfair to judge them if they don’t like it!

This is why when I get a dog again I am going to rescue the ugliest, most frowny, miserable looking dog I can get. My last dear pupper was cute as a button and a magnet for ticklers.

@Quagmireschin Oh she is a beauty! Looks like she has very similar markings to my boy (golden back, but white legs and saggy trousers). And she's in a lovely condition 😍I bet you get compliments about her all the time

The main thing I get asked is if she’s crossed with anything! I keep her quite lean (she’s quite a tall girl, but I like to keep her just under 30kg, for her joints as she gets older).

I think people are used to seeing retrievers who are overweight, they aren’t used to seeing leaner ones!

And yes, she’s lovely. Such a lovely colour and her hair is quite short and coarse for a GR, she’s not very fluffy. You wouldn’t know that with all the shedding though 😂

I have kind of the opposite problem to you OP in that my lab is TOO friendly with people (and dogs!) and despite constantly trying to train him out of it, still has a tendency to jump up at people when he is excited. He’s only 9 months old but weighs close to 30kgs now. I put him in a sit on walks and get him to wait patiently while dog walkers go by and reward him for staying still. But still get people walking up to him and talking to him in an excited voice and he loses his mind and I have wrestle him to keep him on the ground and I’ve hurt my shoulder/elbow doing so. I know they mean well, they always say “oh he’s only being friendly and I don’t mind”. But for me, I’d never say hi to a dog unless 1. They clearly want to say hi to me also (I.e. I wouldn’t approach a dog that looks uninterested in me, let alone scared) and 2. If the owner said it was ok!

Annoys me so much. I used to have an afghan and lived next to a infant and junior school. I just could not walk him when the children were going into school or coming out.

They would run up ooohing and aaahing and crowd round him. They often would grab at his fur, his tail etc.

He was a very placid friendly dog but hated being surrounded especially by screeching children.

It was a complete waste of time asking the parents to stop their children and also to ask if they could stroke him

I’m the same. I grew up with dogs so I knew never to just go up to a dog and try to touch it. My children are the same.

It’s especially irritating when people can see you are clearly doing some sort of training with them and they still bloody do it.

And then if the poor dog gets overwhelmed or scared and snaps at them, it’s the dogs fault.

@Quagmireschin sorry I know it's completely not the point of your thread, but I am curious - does she have any Xanthos in her? The more I look at her photo, the more I see that kennel 😂

I feel your pain on course fur (particularly on the back for mine) and shedding. Even after a groom, there's still fur everywhere...

No, she’s a pedigree retriever. Shes actually the great, great, great +++ (I can’t remember how many now!) niece of one of my childhood dogs.

I’ve used the same excellent breeder forever - his son took over when he retired from breeding/showing.

Although, little Marge is the first little ball of anxiety that we’ve ever had! I did have one GR 20 years ago who was completely hyperactive, didn’t calm down, even at age 15, it was like her legs were pogo sticks and she would literally shake with excitement at anything resembling fun! Lovely girl, but an absolute nightmare to train.

ETA - sorry, I’ve been up most of last night with a sick child. I thought you meant was she mixed breed. I’ll get my coat…

Agree with PP- its because she's a golden and they help blind people so they must all be the same 🙄

I mean, I adore Goldens but I recognise that not all of them are identical and if I saw a harness saying in training I would stay well away.

I bet if she was a pitbull people wouldn't be running up to cuddle her 😂

I have a Weimaraner who is, admittedly, gorgeous.
BUT he’s also prone to anxiety so we use the sit and wait method and also pre warn anyone approaching who might be a trigger.
unfortunately one of his triggers is children on scooters, of which we are hyper vigilant for.
the amount of times I’ve given the parents fair warning, asking politely if their child would get off and push their scooter past him and being ignored. Yet roundly attacked when he starts barking!

But there are more good people than bad in my experience. Most people respect us and walk past happily, commenting what a lovely dog.
Or children asking if they can say hello, I’ve rarely said no because they’ve shown respect and I have control of him.
Theres one little girl, maybe six, who asks most morning we meet her on her way to school. She politely told him one morning that she wouldn’t be saying ‘hello’ because she had her school photos that morning and she didn’t want to mess up her hair.

there are sensible people out there and it can sometimes feel like they’re in the minority.

No one dares mess with my daughter when she walks him because she is so fiercely protective of him that she’s not afraid to be rude, because she knows if he reacts then he’s likely to be blamed.