Would a poodle suit us? If not what else?

[Sprookjesbos]

Lost our darling border terrier 18 months ago and starting to feel ready for a new fur baby.

We love borders but he took a lot of training, had a high prey drive and was reactive to other dogs despite a lot of work with him.

We have two children 10 and 8. The 8 year old has autism and ADHD and our house is often loud/ unpredictable. DS doesn't have the best boundaries (doesn't hurt animals but can get in their face/ hug without warning etc. obviously we're working on this)

I work fairly flexibly but we may be out for a few hours at a time during the week - not every day. We have a large garden.

Our main criteria are:

1. Reliably great with children. This has to be number one!
2. Easygoing/ chilled in the house
3. A breed that is usually good with other dogs. We don't want to go through that again!
4. Preferably non or low shedding as my husband isn't great with pet hair. A friend's lab stays with us sometimes and that usually gets to his chest whereas the border terrier never did.

We have looked at poodle mixes due to the hair type but I know they are often crossed with small dogs (eg cockapoo/ cavapoo) and I don't have the best experience of spaniels.

We're considering a straight standard poodle. Does anyone have any experience with the breed ?
My main reservation is the size!

Yellow lab. Wonderful family dogs . My friend has 2 autistic children and wouldn’t have anything else

The op has stated she wants a non-shedding dog.

We have a Lhasa Apso crossed with a poodle. He is lovely with children and has a very calm and loving nature. He’s not at all reactive to other dogs. Downsides are the grooming - you have to get them used to being groomed early and continue with it otherwise their coat will mat - we get a professional groom every 6-8 weeks. In the winter they need a coat otherwise their curly fur picks up every bit of dirt. Outside of the professional grooming he needs us to bath him at least every 2 weeks with a good brush afterwards. So you have to train them as a puppy to get used to that. They can be startle barkers, and bark when scared by a noise. He loves people and always wants to be near someone - not the dog for you if you like alone time. He can be left alone for 2-3 hours but we wouldn’t do more. Quite a low energy dog who sleeps a lot during the day. Not particularly ‘clever’ - takes a while to get what you are training but very willing!

Thanks very much for all your considered responses. I really appreciate it.

Sorry for upsetting whoever I upset with fur baby. Just a phrase. I'm not an inexperienced dog owner and my dogs have always had brilliant lives.

Maybe you're right about my son. It's in the back of my mind anyway. He loves animals. One of the ways his ADHD presents is that he acts first then thinks so he can move quickly and gets easily excited and easily upset. I just wanted a dog that would be tolerant of that but maybe you're right that it isn't fair to the dog/ to him .

Our last dog came before DS. He was 17 when he died and he was amazingly patient with DS though there was a period when DS was 3-5 where we had to baby gate the kitchen for DDog so they couldn't meet each other unsupervised. But it got better as he got older. It might never get better enough that the risk isn't there with a young puppy so maybe it's just something we have to accept can't happen.

We love cats! Unfortunately we live on quite a busy road and I worry about a cat being safe!

Have a look at the Havanese, it might suit you. Ours is lovely. Non shedding, laid back, great with kids.

My miniature poodle is the most chilled out, quiet, tolerant dog ever but even she would get the arse living week in week out with a kid who has no boundaries.

I think any dog would. It is not fair on either of them.

If you do (which I suspect you might) implement a rule that the dog is NEVER to be touched or disturbed if s/he has gone to its bed. The kids must understand and obey this.

I have this rule in my house and I live alone with my dog!

ETA - that wouldnt solve the random sudden acts of "too-much" though. You'll end up with a nervous anxious dog. Whats the saying "a protective dog isnt dangerous but a nervous one is"

@Sprookjesbos Would the charity Dogs for Autism be able to help you find a suitable companion?
I have no idea if they are any good or not.

We were set on a poodle and I saw smooth collies recommend on a an old thread here and was sold. I have to say this as people always say they are but they are NOT the same as Border Collies! They are like Lassie but without the rough gene so face less hair.

They have a lovely temperament and are gentle and soft but are not at all popular for some odd reason- they’re one of the most vulnerable native breeds. It’s such a shame as they’re so lovely and due to low numbers the smooth breeders are really considered and put so much work into expanding the gene pool to avoid inbreeding.

One issue for you though is that they do seasonally shed.

just to add- we have a couple of diagnosed ADHD humans here and at least one who is young but will join us soon- she is 6 and is the best friend with our pup (after me!)

Don’t get any kind of dog until your youngest knows how to behave around them.

I had a poodle growing up and he was terrible with kids. He was the sweetest dog but he was also very territorial and possessive over us family members. He was good with other dogs though and very easy going (apart from the monthly grooming). My parents now have a bichon Frise and he is wonderful. Low maintenance, easy going, just want lots of love. He’s great with other dogs too.

We have a toy poodle. He’s got a great temperament, very family friendly and loves cuddles, but thick as two short planks.

His main downside is that he is so delicate and cries the house down very loudly if anyone accidentally steps on a paw.

I think I’d suggest going for a larger poodle for a more robust dog.

Labradoodle? I’m a fan of standard poodles and there are a few around where I live. Not very insightful comment sorry, but they always seem calm and friendly.

Would a poodle suit us? No

If not what else? No dog

Sorry OP, and glad you seem to have come to this conclusion, but you shouldn't get any kind of dog. It's so important when people consider what dog would suit them, they also consider if they could offer a dog - any dog - a suitable home. In this case, I think the answer is sadly no.

Hi @Sprookjesbos
you have had some great advice here but just to add - we got a cockapoo in April. For all the reasons mentioned a poodle would be preferable over any kind of doodle/cross. Knowing what I know now about breeding practices I wouldn’t do it again. Poodle for me next time 100%. (Although I love my dog to bits)

I have DS who is 6. He is neurotypical but incredibly high energy and I cannot tell you the hard work that has gone into establishing and maintaining boundaries to keep both DS and DDog safe. In hindsight I would have waited until DS was older.

Hope that helps ❤️

Do people actually even bother to read opening posts properly anymore? It says right there that OP wants a low shedding dog and that their friends Lab causes her husband chest issues due to shedding, so the first person to reply comes along and recommends... a Lab💀

I was about to say Havanese too - they are great dogs - super friendly with people and other dogs (assuming they are socialised from a pup). The only hesitation is that they are quite small/fragile so could get hurt easily by a boisterous child.

My mini poodle is amazing - friendly, calm, great with kids and goes agility training with my adhd son. Plus he is super cute!

I know everyone hates poodle
crosses but we have an Australian labradoodle from a breeder that
focuses on breeding service dogs. Our daughter has ASD and our dog has been a life saver for her, he is so sensitive and in tune with her emotions always ready for a cuddle when she is disregulated, he’s sweet, funny and obedient and loves going for walk but is equally happy to hangout with us on the safe.

I also know his brother who is also fab and his half sister, so very confident that he’s not a one off! We have gone for a medium size so he’s around 16kg but his half sister is a mini and about 7kg.

The other plus is the breeder does extensive health testing, which is unusual and he doesn’t shed at all, he has a lovely, soft fleecy coat - he’s like a living teddy. (The downside is he absolutely loves water and mud so we do a lot of bathing)