Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

Is this the right decision?

23 replies

notyetpregnant · 10/01/2026 16:21

Hi, hoping for some objective thoughts on our situation as we face a heartbreaking decision.

our very much loved boy is 12 and has had deteriorating health over the last couple of years including multiple surgeries for mast cell tumour removal and more recently seems to have lost a lot of sight and possibly dementia.

On top of this he has severe arthritis with a particular issue on his one leg and we struggle to get him to rest at all because he just paces around all evening, will not settle in his crate at all and has had a couple of little stumbles resulting in limping but seems ok the following day.

Last night he pulled away from me as we got home from his walk and has injured his leg. I didn’t see what he did but most likely jumped and landed awkwardly. He has been in a lot of pain since, I’ve never witnessed him in so much pain even when he fractured his pelvis several years ago.

I’ve been so upset and due to it being the weekend our options are very limited. The out of hours vet quoted around £2k for an xray, which we would pay and have insurance, but the thought of travelling there with him and leaving him (he gets extremely stressed at the vet’s) was awful and due to it being an out of hours service they couldn’t give any clarity around what would happen.

He also had an xray recently under sedation very recently because his liver bloods were a bit high so the vet didn’t want to put him under anaesthetic, so I was anxious about that and the out of hours were again vague on this and what they would do. Our main concern has been that the best scenario is it’s just some trauma to his arthritic limb which needs rest (which we would struggle to manage because of his recent behaviour change and refusal to rest) and will likely happen again. While the worst being a break/fracture requiring treatment we wouldn’t put him through.

He is a big boy and the last 2 vets we have seen in the last 6 months have both mentioned quality of life and him being a good age for his size and have advised against further surgeries for mast cell tumours etc.

It’s been heartbreaking seeing him in so much pain today and we have decided to end his suffering this evening with someone coming to euthanise him at home. I know in an ideal world it would be useful to know the exact issue to consider this alongside everything but we really don’t want to put him through anything painful or stressful which may not even change things at all.

We have thought and talked extensively about this but it’s still so hard to be sure it’s the right decision, or at least not the wrong one. It’s not about cost, and in fact is costing significantly more to arrange for home euthanasia because I could never do it at the vets where he gets so stressed. I would quite literally do anything to make him better but the reality is that he has a few things going on and hasn’t been ‘right’ for a while.

Nevertheless I feel so much guilt which is likely tied to the fact that we have two very young children so the last couple of years have been very different to the old days when he was our whole world.

if you have made it this far thank you

OP posts:
Loonar · 10/01/2026 16:24

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

TequilaNights · 10/01/2026 16:30

Gentle hugs OP

It’s one of the hardest, most guilt ridden decisions we ever have to make as dog owners, knowing when it’s time to let them go for their benefit, not our own wants and needs.

I’ve always believed it’s better a day too soon than a day too late.
There will never be a single moment that feels like the right time - because we want them to live forever.

Be kind to yourself

Indianajet · 10/01/2026 16:33

I think it is time - the last kind, loving thing we can do for our beloved ani.als. I have been there several times - hugs xx

amber763 · 10/01/2026 16:34

Aww love, im so so sorry. I do think you have made the right decision for your boy.

BiteyShark · 10/01/2026 16:35

I get it. We have a 9 year old with many issues that on their own or together aren’t enough to make that decision but I fully anticipate another couple on top of that will just tip the balance from managing his conditions to being too much for him.

Please don’t feel guilty. You have looked at the pros and cons and thought hard and made the best decision for him.

Empress13 · 10/01/2026 16:41

I’m so so sorry how heartbreaking but you must do the right thing for your poor boy. Better a day too soon than a day too late. I absolutely dread that day but he has had a good llfe and 12 is a good age especially for a large breed dog. I hope he will be at peace soon💔x

HoseGoblin · 10/01/2026 16:43

I've had to make this choice four times in my life so far and it's the hardest thing you ever have to do as a pet owner - but it's also the kindest and most loving thing we do for them in their lifetimes - give them the gift of going peacefully at home surrounded by those who loved them most.

Keeping them going through intervention is usually done for ourselves, because we can't bear to be without them. If I could make them live forever I would. Helping them go as painlessly as possible is something we do for them.

You've nothing to feel guilty about. It's an act of love.

CMOTDibbler · 10/01/2026 16:46

It’s an awful decision to have to make, but having made it for my beloved old boy in November, fwiw I would absolutely agree with your decision.

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 10/01/2026 16:58

We made the decision with our 9 year old girl in 2024, decided on the Thursday night we'd call the vets and arrange it the following morning because she was in pain and the meds were no longer helping her. She actually took that decision out of our hands and went at home that night, but while I, rationally, knew it was the right thing for her, I was still questioning it because I wasn't ready to let her go from an emotional perspective. Honestly I'm still not and she's been gone over a year.

It's the absolute worst thing about having a dog in the family, but you will know when it's time for him to go. He'll love you for stopping his pain when he can't x

feetfirst39 · 10/01/2026 17:12

If it's got to the point where even the vets are talking about his quality of life then it's definitely time IMO.

Andthatrightsoon · 10/01/2026 17:19

You are absolutely doing the right thing. I'm so sorry. He's lucky to have you.

bridgetreilly · 10/01/2026 17:20

I’m afraid it does sound like the right decision now, OP.

Glitchymn1 · 10/01/2026 17:27

I have been in this position with my lovely lab, I feel I kept him a little too long. I kept him for me. I was selfish. I wish I had let him go a few months sooner.
It sounds like yours wont get any better OP no matter what you do, how much money you throw at it and it’s a lot for him to go through. Dementia is awful, my Lab didn’t have this but our JRT did, the vet said he would be frightened eventually.

Your boy sounds like he’s had a lovely life, I would have one last special day and let him go quietly and peacefully.

Mine had a steak and strawberries, then went to sleep for the last time. It was quick, peaceful. Be strong x

Idontknowhatnametochoose · 10/01/2026 17:36

I'm so sorry. In tears reading this. You're making the best decision for your beautiful boy. Thinking of you this evening xx

Nannyfannybanny · 10/01/2026 17:41

Unfortunately yes the right decision. I've lost count of how many times I have had to do this,dogs and cats. Last time was January 23. Your poor doggo has gone through so much.

notyetpregnant · 11/01/2026 00:14

Thank you all for your kind words and reassurance. My lovely boy was euthanised peacefully at home this evening and we are heartbroken but trying to take comfort in it being the best for him.

We hope we have given him the great life he deserves because he has brought us so much joy and made us so proud. It’s been the hardest thing to watch him deteriorate over the last few months and I hope that in time we will feel less guilt and know it was the right decision.

I’d give anything for one last good walk with him.

OP posts:
Itsnearlyxmas · 11/01/2026 00:30

I am so so sorry for the pain you are experiencing but please know you did the right thing. I went through this in September & it hurts so much. It would, however, be unkind to allow them to suffer. Take time to grieve & look after yourself ❤️

Christwosheds · 11/01/2026 00:43

So sorry OP. He went peacefully at home with the people who he loved and who loved him. That’s a good end to a good life. Sending a hug to you.

Flatandhappy · 11/01/2026 00:46

So sorry you had to make that decision but you know it was the right one. Take care x

patooties · 11/01/2026 00:53

Sounds like time to me - I am so sorry. We love them so much eh - and that’s why we have to do the kindest thing for them.

Loveatortie · 11/01/2026 01:12

It is so hard to say goodbye. You will have wonderful memories of your boy. Cherish them xx

caramac04 · 11/01/2026 02:30

My old girl is 15 yrs and 7 months. She’s still happy but losing her sight and definitely some dementia. Literally over the last week we can see a slight deterioration every day. I think the decision will be made very soon.
She has been such a fantastic dog and so loved by us all it will be very hard.
Unfortunately we recently had our 4 yr old dog euthanised due to untreatable kidney cancer. I’m still crying every day over losing him.
They bring us so much joy and improve our lives. Losing them is painful but we have to do right by them. You have been brave and done the right thing. I will too quite soon.
Sending hugs.

cannynotsay · 11/01/2026 03:34

I still regret putting my dog down dispite it being the right thing to do. I know it was. But it’s still the most painful experience. Big love and only you know your dog well enough to know what’s right. No one does it pleasure. Let him rest x

New posts on this thread. Refresh page