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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

How do you know when it’s time?

32 replies

bridgetreilly · 09/01/2026 23:39

My dog is about 11 years old. He’s a rescue Lhasa Apso. He has long term problems with arthritis and acid reflux, which have been well-controlled with painkillers and probiotics.

In the last two months he has suddenly developed the appetite of a labrador, started foraging and scavenging, resulting in one emergency vet trip after he ate a packet of supplements meant for me. He’s put on about 20% of his body weight in that time and is always asking for more food. He is also drinking a lot more than usual, and is constantly restless. He’s much grumpier in general, too, and has even snarled at me once, and bitten more than once.

He’s also struggling with continence, both weeing and pooing. Most of the time it’s fine but we have started having accidents which has never been a problem before.

This week we saw the vet and he has had blood tests and scans which have ruled out both diabetes and Cushing’s disease. Still waiting news on Addisons or thyroid. But the vet thinks both are unlikely. The most likely outcome is no medical diagnosis.

He’s not happy. I am going to ask about maybe increasing his painkillers to see if that helps. But I just don’t know whether it’s kind to carry on like this, when he’s sort of okay, just not his normal self. Without any diagnosis or treatment it’s hard to see things improving. They aren’t terrible, but should I really wait until things are terrible? I’ve always said I want him to have the happiest possible life, not the longest possible life. And I don’t think he’s happy any more.

OP posts:
Pherian · 11/01/2026 15:44

bridgetreilly · 09/01/2026 23:39

My dog is about 11 years old. He’s a rescue Lhasa Apso. He has long term problems with arthritis and acid reflux, which have been well-controlled with painkillers and probiotics.

In the last two months he has suddenly developed the appetite of a labrador, started foraging and scavenging, resulting in one emergency vet trip after he ate a packet of supplements meant for me. He’s put on about 20% of his body weight in that time and is always asking for more food. He is also drinking a lot more than usual, and is constantly restless. He’s much grumpier in general, too, and has even snarled at me once, and bitten more than once.

He’s also struggling with continence, both weeing and pooing. Most of the time it’s fine but we have started having accidents which has never been a problem before.

This week we saw the vet and he has had blood tests and scans which have ruled out both diabetes and Cushing’s disease. Still waiting news on Addisons or thyroid. But the vet thinks both are unlikely. The most likely outcome is no medical diagnosis.

He’s not happy. I am going to ask about maybe increasing his painkillers to see if that helps. But I just don’t know whether it’s kind to carry on like this, when he’s sort of okay, just not his normal self. Without any diagnosis or treatment it’s hard to see things improving. They aren’t terrible, but should I really wait until things are terrible? I’ve always said I want him to have the happiest possible life, not the longest possible life. And I don’t think he’s happy any more.

This is a conversation you need to have with your vet.

bridgetreilly · 11/01/2026 15:49

Well, today we have had no toileting issues, a nice walk with a happy dog doing some running, and generally much more interested in life.

I am due to talk to the vet tomorrow anyway, but I am much more hopeful that it might have been a bad few days, rather than permanent decline. We’ll see.

OP posts:
DisappointedD · 11/01/2026 16:11

We are also at this stage, 10 year old (good age for his breed), he’s had a mast cell tumour removed that was grade 3, so very likely spread, he’s also got spinal disc problems, he can’t get up and down the stairs any more (out living room and his bedroom is on middle floor), he appears to have very little feeling left in his back legs, like jelly when walking but he can walk, he is still eating, loves a cuddle on the sofa. Recently he has started to lose control of his bowels, he will just be walking with it dropping out. Bladder seems ok at the minute.

Just don’t know when is the right time.

Rocknrollstar · 11/01/2026 16:55

I think it is always a good idea to think how would you want to live? I knew someone whose dog had dementia and went blind and was incontinent but she was reluctant to make the decision until he stopped eating.

Biggles27 · 11/01/2026 21:56

As someone whose had a lot of animals - dogs, horses, cats, rabbits, hamsters etc

when the bad days outweigh the good it’s time to let go. A peaceful dignified passing is the final gift we owe our animals

Our dog (still got one but his non related brother), after he’d passed we realised we’d fought too hard to save him and he suffered due to us hoping we’d get him back to how he was. He had thing after thing wrong with him in his final 12 months (cancer, another suspected cancer but we let go before that was scanned, wounds that wouldn’t heal, broken teeth, heart problems, anal gland infections, antibiotic resistant infection and finally a slipped disc in his neck that caused significant mobility issues)

His final weeks were spent trapped in bed, being carried out to do his business, held up on a sling, he wasn’t happy but we were told that time might make him better. Despite crate rest for 6 weeks, physio 3 times a week he was getting worse. We decided enough was enough as there were no good days, he was in pain and miserable. We should’ve called it earlier. I will never forgive myself for what we put that dog through and we won’t put our remaining dog through anything like that - he’s 15 1/2 and deserves a peaceful departure

It hurts to say goodbye but don’t have the guilt and regrets we do

a day too soon is better than a day too late

my heart goes out to you

bridgetreilly · 12/01/2026 14:50

He is so much better than he was on Friday and Saturday, so I am really hopeful that was just a long reaction to the anaesthetic on Wednesday. No more continence issues, thankfully, and no obvious signs of pain. Good chat with the vet just now. We aren’t going to do any more investigations, and just see how things develop. We’ve talked about giving Calpol for temporary pain, if needed, and I will contact them again if anything changes.

OP posts:
Liissey0710 · 12/01/2026 17:10

bridgetreilly · 12/01/2026 14:50

He is so much better than he was on Friday and Saturday, so I am really hopeful that was just a long reaction to the anaesthetic on Wednesday. No more continence issues, thankfully, and no obvious signs of pain. Good chat with the vet just now. We aren’t going to do any more investigations, and just see how things develop. We’ve talked about giving Calpol for temporary pain, if needed, and I will contact them again if anything changes.

I think they nearly tell you with actions when they are ready to go. I hand feed my boy for 6 months with strong meds before we made a call. And it was the right call.

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