Having dog PTS today - what to tell DS4

[TwooooDoooozenRoses]

Hi all,

I have made the decision that it’s time to say goodbye to my dog. He’s ‘only’ 12 but riddled with arthritis, keeps having bouts of unexplainable head/neck pain which leads to him lashing out in pain, he’s nearly blind, his hearing is patchy at best and he’s started having accidents in the home now too. He is distressed by all of the above and it’s feels cruel to make him go on like this plus he’s becoming unsafe around my two small children, who he usually adores and vice versa.

Anyway, my main issue now is what to say to my four year old. His younger sister is only one, so won’t know any different but I’m struggling to be sure of how best to approach it with my son. My natural instinct is to be matter of fact; sadly dogs don’t live as long as people and Ddog has got very old now and his body isn’t working properly anymore which is causing him pain. Sometimes the vet can’t fix our pets and so he’s going to die/has died. We’ve been very lucky to have him but he won’t be coming home again now.

That feels the most appropriate way of handling it to me, but I am VERY open to suggestion as I’ve never done this before and don’t want to misstep too much if I can help it. Also would you tell him before I take old dog to the vets or just tell him after the fact? He’s aware the dog is old and in pain and we’ve talked about things dying before as we’re farmers but it’s different with a pet!

Thanks in advance!!

So sorry to hear. Your explanation is clear and age appropriate. I would always avoid anything about 'going to sleep' or 'putting to sleep' with children, as you have. Best wishes to you.

Agree with this, was about to reply similarly. Sending hugs OP. ❤️

Thank you both. I really appreciate the speedy replies and the well wishes 🖤 he’s currently lounging in front of the roaring fire and snacking on leftover turkey, how lovely that they can stay so blissfully unaware.

We’ve lost a few dogs throughout our child’s life. At 4 he was honestly fine, he didn’t really understand nor was he devastated. He loved the dogs but got over it very quickly.

we just explained (after the event) that the dog was very old, sick and had to go to the dog hospital and sadly won’t be coming home and peacefully went to sleep

also very sorry that you’re going through this

I think your explanation is really good.

Agree with pp, don't call it 'being put to sleep' or anything to do with sleep.

I'm not sure whether it's best to tell him before work after. I think given his age maybe after. U ness you think he'll be upset by not being able to say goodbye.

Absolutely be honest with him, your explanation sounds ideal (in less than ideal circs) for a 4yo.

We had to have our 5yo JRT PTS when DD was 4, he had a brain tumour and so we explained that he had a poorly brain and the doctors weren’t able to make him better and he died. She cried, was very upset but understood completely. It did take a while for her to understand that she wouldn’t see him again, but we got there. She’s 6 now and talks about our old boy regularly! We’ve recently adopted a 10yo greyhound who she absolutely adores, and often says he looks like a giant version of our JRT, she has such fond memories of him.

Thoughts are with you all, take care of each other x

Thank you all, again it’s so appreciated. I’m sorry for your losses, it’s always so hard to say goodbye to these little dears. I’m hoping DS will be matter of fact about it, but I guess we’ll see. Again, thank you