Love my puppy but feel restricted - please be kind

FrazzledLabOwner · 2025-12-26T19:20:42+00:00

First of all, I love my dog. This isn't a complaint, nor am I asking for advice. I just need to write it down. We're doing lots of training and I knew exactly what we were getting into with a dog, so this isn't a "why did no one tell me how hard it would be?" post. We have a 1 year old Labrador and he's a great dog, but I sometimes feel quite restricted by having him, and Christmas has brought that home to me a bit. I worry that we won't be able to stay with family or have people over for the next 10-15 years. My partner and I both grew up with dogs and my wider family has lots of dogs, so I guess I expected to be able to just take mine to stay with family (like other people do) and for it to just be... A bit easier. So maybe this is actually where it is different to how I imagined. Everyone else has adult dogs who are much calmer and wouldn't tolerate a bouncy teenage lab. At the moment we can't take him to stay with other people because a) he settles well at home but not at other people's, and b) he is far too excitable around other dogs and it would just be massively overstimulating for him and not fair on the other dogs. Having people over is stressful because he's really jumpy with guests. It's doable, but not enjoyable. These are all things that we're working on so I'm hopeful things with be easier in the future, but I guess I just feel a bit flat that our Christmas and New Year plans have been just us (not that it hasn't been lovely - but I guess I had this vision of everyone together). Please don't be rude in the comments. We're working really hard and love our dog but I needed to get this out there.

ACynicalDad · 26/12/2025 19:23

He’s still a baby, don’t castrate him too soon, he should calm with time.

Ihaveoflate · 26/12/2025 19:24

It won't be like this forever, or very much longer in the great scheme of things.

In a couple of years, it'll all have been worth the early puppy bit.

Anotherdayattheforum · 26/12/2025 19:28

He is going through adolescence. Hold your nerve. 2+ and he will be more able to regulate himself, just like any adolescent.

Like any mammal going through adolescence, this is the painful stage.

Springflowersyay · 26/12/2025 19:30

Dogs do restrict you to a certain extent, but labs are very energetic, bouncy dogs and kind but firm training is essential for them to be pleasant company.
They can be taught to stay on their bed or keep feet on the floor when you have company.
Have you crate trained? This can be very useful when staying elsewhere, as they can have quiet rest time during a busy day in a stimulating environment, which they need.

It sounds like your dog does whatever it feels like doing.
This isn’t a criticism. All dogs do this, unless they are taught and understand to not do otherwise.
Sounds like your dog would benefit from lots of impulse control games.
Without impulse control, it’s impossible for them not to jump up, or run about like crazy, or to stay on their bed when asked.

Look into KC Good Citizen classes near you. These are positive classes which teach manners and general polite behaviour.
Labs are easy to train (once you know what to do) as they are highly food motivated.

MumChp · 26/12/2025 19:32

Use a dog kennel for Christmas.

PodMom · 26/12/2025 19:45

Have you tried some consistent training about getting him to settle on a mat? It’s great as the mat can be portable

Jingleasfaraspossible · 26/12/2025 19:46

Springflowersyay · 26/12/2025 19:30

Dogs do restrict you to a certain extent, but labs are very energetic, bouncy dogs and kind but firm training is essential for them to be pleasant company.
They can be taught to stay on their bed or keep feet on the floor when you have company.
Have you crate trained? This can be very useful when staying elsewhere, as they can have quiet rest time during a busy day in a stimulating environment, which they need.

It sounds like your dog does whatever it feels like doing.
This isn’t a criticism. All dogs do this, unless they are taught and understand to not do otherwise.
Sounds like your dog would benefit from lots of impulse control games.
Without impulse control, it’s impossible for them not to jump up, or run about like crazy, or to stay on their bed when asked.

Look into KC Good Citizen classes near you. These are positive classes which teach manners and general polite behaviour.
Labs are easy to train (once you know what to do) as they are highly food motivated.

Excellent advice

Jingleasfaraspossible · 26/12/2025 19:47

MumChp · 26/12/2025 19:32

Use a dog kennel for Christmas.

Lots of dogs find kennels very stressful and it can have a negative effect on their subsequent behaviour.

MumChp · 26/12/2025 19:54

Jingleasfaraspossible · 26/12/2025 19:47

Lots of dogs find kennels very stressful and it can have a negative effect on their subsequent behaviour.

Show quote history

Stay at home then.

Moonlightfrog · 26/12/2025 19:55

Get him used to going to kennels or dog sitters, it will make things much easier. He will calm down in time. I used to have a lab and he really enjoyed going to a local kennel that specialised in working breeds, he got to socialise and got long walks. I don’t have my own dog now but I pet sit for a dog that has separation issues, she hates kennels but loves staying at my house once a month whilst her owners have a break.

Jingleasfaraspossible · 26/12/2025 20:09

MumChp · 26/12/2025 19:54

Stay at home then.

Show quote history

I am not the OP?

TumbledTussocks · 26/12/2025 20:10

So long as you are training and your dog is well socialised in the future you will be the people with the calm grown up dog. 1 is still a baby.

ArcticGrass · 26/12/2025 20:12

Keep going with it. They calm down, honestly. Ours was a little demon, shes 6 now and she’s spent all Christmas with lots of guests here, mostly sleeping….

Catholica · 26/12/2025 20:13

It will get much better. In the meantime find a nice local person who can dog sit including overnight.

Justcheeseatthispoint · 26/12/2025 20:16

He will calm down. Just keep with the training. We have a 9 month old pup and a 2 year old. The 9 month old is a complete arsehole. The 2 year old, an angel who was an utter eejit a year ago.

Glitchymn1 · 26/12/2025 20:18

10-15 years is somewhat ambitious, they do slow down waaay before that and 10/12 is probably the average life span. Your Lab will be lucky to bounce around by age 3-5. Don’t castrate before 18 mths so bad for joints. I did it (I didn’t know about the repercussions). It didn’t stop him bouncing either. Just keep at it, keep things handy like a kong, pigs ear, keep him on the lead around visitors, crate an hour or two here and there is fine - they need rest, put in a separate room to chill.

They are fabulous dogs, I miss mine so much.

MrsDoomsPatterson1 · 26/12/2025 20:20

Training is situational - he won’t automatically transfer calm to another environment because he does it at home

you need to train him to settle in different environments

Pearlstillsinging · 26/12/2025 20:23

I have always found it easier to start as you mean to go with pups, including Labs, so I would have got yours used to going to other houses from the moment he was allowed out and about.

However they are usually trainable dogs, so start in the New Year, taking him for short visits to dog friendly houses, where there won't be lots happening.
Insist on calm behaviour and keep it very short. If you can take him for a walk with the resident dog that should help.
At home, if you haven't done so already, crate train him so that you can have visitors for short periods, without him jumping on them.

Maryberrysbouffant · 26/12/2025 22:09

You could consider dog sitters staying at your home with him when you go away.

You can either use paid sitters, or if you live in a desirable home/area join a housesitters app and get free sitters.

BeQuirkyMintScroller · 27/12/2025 15:28

Springflowersyay · 26/12/2025 19:30

Dogs do restrict you to a certain extent, but labs are very energetic, bouncy dogs and kind but firm training is essential for them to be pleasant company.
They can be taught to stay on their bed or keep feet on the floor when you have company.
Have you crate trained? This can be very useful when staying elsewhere, as they can have quiet rest time during a busy day in a stimulating environment, which they need.

It sounds like your dog does whatever it feels like doing.
This isn’t a criticism. All dogs do this, unless they are taught and understand to not do otherwise.
Sounds like your dog would benefit from lots of impulse control games.
Without impulse control, it’s impossible for them not to jump up, or run about like crazy, or to stay on their bed when asked.

Look into KC Good Citizen classes near you. These are positive classes which teach manners and general polite behaviour.
Labs are easy to train (once you know what to do) as they are highly food motivated.

I happened across a trainer's video when i first got my puppy that said the most important thing you can teach is sit-stay-break...

...as it is basic impulse control. Which is the foundation of all dog training.

I do sit-stay-break for everything : before her lead is removed, when her food goes down, when the front door opens, before going through a gate, in the middle of play for no reason whatsoever....

yolopp · 27/12/2025 23:12

Same. I feel restricted 3 years in. I board him with a trainer when I need to but it's very expensive so I save it for holidays and Christmas etc. He's lovely but I wouldn't do it again! Sending solidarity

vanillalattes · 28/12/2025 09:21

As PP said, training is situational - if you want him to settle in a pub or cafe or at a friends’ house then you need to take him there and train him - even if it’s hard and stressful at first. We took ours everywhere as a young puppy so he always knew what was expected of him in shops, cafes, cars etc.

Bufftailed · 31/12/2025 12:28

I understand OP. I have a gorgeous border terrier who is 5.5 years and I love her to bits but she isn’t great with other dogs do can’t go to daycare/ group walks and can’t be left alone in the evenings when dark. I feel a bit gutted about the evenings especially.

I love her so much, so will continue to work with it. She is amazing with people and ok to be left in day. As a covid pup she missed some vital socialization and training.

Major on training. The jumpiness etc will improve with time

Twiglets1 · 07/01/2026 06:37

He’s very young still and will calm down with age. I taught my dogs the command “in your bed” which was a dog bed not a crate but they would go there on command (most of the time) and get treats as a reward. Labs love food above all else.

The jumping up at guests can be trained out of him, just ask any visitors to ignore that behaviour and give him a treat or fuss when 4 paws are on the ground. Reinforce this yourself every day by leaving the room or house, and practicing him greeting you politely when you return.

But mainly - Labs do calm down a lot as they mature. You won’t have this situation for years & years. I do get it though. Once our Labs are over a year old I get them neutered and then it’s easy to find people that will look after them in their own homes while you go away - for a fee of course.

Twiglets1 · 07/01/2026 06:41

And as others have said, take him to pubs & cafes if you want him to learn to settle there. Our last pup acted difficult the first couple of times he went to a cafe - whining & fussing - but after that he got the hang of it and settled nicely with a chew under the table. Labs are a very adaptable breed & also quite lazy so don’t find it hard to nap in busy places.