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Original poster

Doggy Advice Please

8 replies

DoggyDilemma25 · 20/12/2025 07:38

We recently took on a 3 year old dog that a family needed to re home as she wasn’t getting on with their other dog. She also had extreme separation anxiety aimed at the eldest daughter, whose dog it was, and who was suffering anxiety herself. They all agreed it was best for the dog and the eldest daughter arranged everything.

I said I was happy to keep in touch and send the odd photo to show how well she is doing but I’m slightly concerned because the daughter has been messaging every day (it’s been a week so far) asking for photos and updates, which I’ve obliged. I’m just wondering if anyone has any advice on how I should deal with this going forward. I don’t want to break off contact but I don’t want to feed the daughter’s anxiety either. And I don’t want to start feeling guilty myself if I haven’t had time to update that day.

So far, the daughter has constantly stated she just wants the best for the dog and knows it’s the right thing to do so I don’t think there’ll be a change of mind there. I would definitely say no to any suggestion of a meet up later because I think that would undo all the hard work we’ve done so far. Any thoughts happily received.

OP posts:
Rowgtfc72 · 20/12/2025 07:44

Just tail of the contact. Leave it a couple of days, then a week, maybe contact once a month. Then tail that off. If you have to send a text to explain you'll send info once a month do that. Its not doing anyone any favours with the regular contact. Definitely no meet up!
Well done on taking on the dog in the first place.

Original poster
DoggyDilemma25 · 20/12/2025 07:50

Thank you. I'll try that, letting go gently. I don't want to be mean about it but we have taken on a dog with a lot of issues so I want to focus on her. She's doing amazing considering everything.

I'm just worried too in case there is a request to see her and how to handle that.

OP posts:
abracadabra1980 · 20/12/2025 07:52

Hi OP, I used to be a rehoming coordinator and for a large UK breed charity and we had procedures to follow for this. As a rule. no person surrendering their dog to the charity was allowed to know where the dog went after that and paperwork was signed to legally protect the dog and new owners mixing forward. We also had to rehome a minimum of 20 miles away from the original home. Contact could be made with a couple of updates through the charity but after that it is faded out. So, my advice would be to phase out the updates and definitely don't meet up. It's teri my difficult for people to surrender a dog but hats off to those who are brave enough to admit they can't cope and regime responsibly. I'm presuming you know/live near the family concerned? If you do happen to bump into them, reassure them but don't linger. Dogs move on far quicker than the owners most of the time. Good luck 🤞

Original poster
DoggyDilemma25 · 20/12/2025 08:27

abracadabra1980 · 20/12/2025 07:52

Hi OP, I used to be a rehoming coordinator and for a large UK breed charity and we had procedures to follow for this. As a rule. no person surrendering their dog to the charity was allowed to know where the dog went after that and paperwork was signed to legally protect the dog and new owners mixing forward. We also had to rehome a minimum of 20 miles away from the original home. Contact could be made with a couple of updates through the charity but after that it is faded out. So, my advice would be to phase out the updates and definitely don't meet up. It's teri my difficult for people to surrender a dog but hats off to those who are brave enough to admit they can't cope and regime responsibly. I'm presuming you know/live near the family concerned? If you do happen to bump into them, reassure them but don't linger. Dogs move on far quicker than the owners most of the time. Good luck 🤞

That's good advice, thank you. We don't know them personally and we live over 30 miles away so I don't have any concerns about accidental meetings. I just know that I would never have been able to surrender any of my past beloved dogs so I want to do the right thing by the previous owner but also be practical about it. We lost our elderly dog a few months ago so those emotions are probably playing a part too.

Our dog's anxiety levels have already dropped enormously so I think there was a cycle of anxiety feeding anxiety there which may explain the issues between the two dogs too.

OP posts:
Dearg · 20/12/2025 08:38

Hi Op, we rehomed our dog several years ago, from a family who could not keep her.

They did not live far from us , but I said no to continued contact. I agreed to send a picture or two via a mutual friend, but no meet ups or walks together.
I did not think it fair on my girl to be constantly reminded of an unhappy past.

So, I would agree with the idea of tailing off contact. It’s good that the recognised the need to rehome ; they need to continue to recognise what’s best for your dog.

DoingAway · 20/12/2025 08:46

You could leave bigger gaps between replies or you could be a bit more direct and set a boundary along the lines of ‘dog is absolutely fine and setting in. We need time to settle in so I will text an update to you again 4 weeks time.’ See if that works.

DoingAway · 20/12/2025 08:49

And you are perfectly within your rights to say a meeting wouldn’t be best for the dog.

Original poster
DoggyDilemma25 · 20/12/2025 09:07

Thank you all. I feel better now seeing as everyone is saying the same thing. I just need to be firm and not give in!

OP posts:
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