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The doghouse

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Original poster

Mental health struggles after welcoming puppy

44 replies

NotSoCheerySnail · 03/12/2025 00:14

Has anyone else struggled with their mental health after welcoming new puppy?
the puppy was very much anticipated. 9 weeks old & cute as a button.
we’ve only got her for a few days - I have shakes, heart palpitations, tearfulness, sense of dread and overwhelm, can’t eat, can’t sleep…
I have 2 kids but nothing prepared me for that! The worst part - I’m pretty sure she’s a really good puppy. Loves to snuggle, plays nicely, doing well with potty break s (with some accidents) but I just seem to be completely tipped over the edge with how dependent she is and hard to keep alive (mouths everything, chases large cats, eats everything she finds on the floor). I can’t stand her cries - and I need to put her away from my toddler sometimes as she can be a bit nippy when she plays.

OP posts:
gandeysflipflop · 03/12/2025 04:31

I've always adopted older dogs as I honestly could not cope with a puppy. From what ive seen from friends with puppies, they are extremely hard work much harder than a human baby. ive known friends have their furniture destroyed by chewing, kept awake all night by crying pups that need cuddles and attention. And the nightmare of toilet training.
No thanks. I think it would break me too. And I honestly wouldn't have the patience.
I honestly dont know what to suggest to help you op other than it will get easier if you can persevere. Puppy hood is short and adult dogs are amazing

regularlatte · 03/12/2025 04:48

I was genuinely suicidal when we got our puppy. I cried every day for about 5 weeks and tried to re-home her numerous times (husband and children staged interventions.)

She’s 6m now and a complete delight. It gets easier. I nearly love her.

PolyCat · 03/12/2025 04:53

I’ve also only adopted adult pets because baby pets are so overwhelming! Hang in there, it’ll get better!

whyyy321 · 03/12/2025 05:14

Puppy blues! I had the puppy blues too when we got ours almost 5 years ago. Was weepy and hugely regretted getting him, wished he'd get lost/something would mean we couldn't keep him, but DH loved him right away! I think it's the dependency, I had pnd with my first baby (post puppy, puppy blues perhaps should have warned me!) and it was related to similar thoughts - missing my old life, wishing time away, feeling things would never change or improve.

It will get better, slowly but surely. I think being fully potty trained helped, as did being able to leave him alone for periods of time. Once he could go for nice long walks and go off lead, things got much much better. Now he's a part of the furniture and I don't think twice about him (in a good way!). Whenever I'm upset I like to find him and give him a cuddle, he's a stoic little feature in the chaos of life with two small children.

It'll get better I'm sure - for now, get whatever breaks from puppy you can, and when with him focus on little bits of training as a means of bonding. I taught ours to have treats on his paws and wait to be told to take them, I was proud of us nailing that one which helped me feel affection for him. Head down, it'll get better!

TheHungryHungryLandsharks · 03/12/2025 05:22

I have shakes, heart palpitations, tearfulness, sense of dread and overwhelm, can’t eat, can’t sleep…

That does not sound normal or healthy. That’s not puppy blues.

GoodVibesHere · 03/12/2025 06:36

TheHungryHungryLandsharks · 03/12/2025 05:22

I have shakes, heart palpitations, tearfulness, sense of dread and overwhelm, can’t eat, can’t sleep…

That does not sound normal or healthy. That’s not puppy blues.

Edited

Yes it does sound 'normal', it's pure anxiety.

I'm sure it will get better OP. Maybe for now just accept that this is your body's reaction to the anxiety/worry, but it will pass as you get used to the new way of life.

Tryingatleast · 03/12/2025 06:39

If you look up most threads with puppy in them so many people are the same op, you’ve a new baby, but worse, one that has so much energy!! It gets better!!

TheHungryHungryLandsharks · 03/12/2025 06:53

GoodVibesHere · 03/12/2025 06:36

Yes it does sound 'normal', it's pure anxiety.

I'm sure it will get better OP. Maybe for now just accept that this is your body's reaction to the anxiety/worry, but it will pass as you get used to the new way of life.

Show quote history

Heart palpitations are not normal! There’s anxiety and then there’s a serious issue.

Puppy blues are a normal occurrence. Health palpitations after buying a puppy are not.

Tbh im not entirely convinced not being able to sleep or eat after getting a puppy is normal either!

Pricelessadvice · 03/12/2025 06:56

Puppy blues is real and puppies are incredibly hard work.
Are you prone to heart palpitations though?

CoubousAndTourmaIet · 03/12/2025 07:50

TheHungryHungryLandsharks · 03/12/2025 06:53

Heart palpitations are not normal! There’s anxiety and then there’s a serious issue.

Puppy blues are a normal occurrence. Health palpitations after buying a puppy are not.

Tbh im not entirely convinced not being able to sleep or eat after getting a puppy is normal either!

Show quote history

She mentions it nipping the toddler so I think we can see it is going to get very much worse before it gets any better at all.

brushingboots · 03/12/2025 08:26

I didn't have heart palpitations but my current dog as a puppy gave me hives from the initial stress! She was a perfect puppy and is still a perfect dog but I went to the doctors and cried about it desperately like I was a new mum with a mewling baby. The doctor asked me if I wanted ADs.

I look back and think how silly I was but it didn't feel silly at the time. I didn't eat properly for weeks after my partner went back to work (working away) and left us because I was too stressed. I offered her to everyone on every walk we went on, tried to get my parents to have her, would go and stand in Lidl just for a break... and then suddenly I got a grip and started to approach it differently and it was fine. You will also be fine, OP.

We all react in different ways. For me it was the lack of control and the dependency – the constant vigilance, and, I suspect, the feeling that I had, for the first time (as I haven't got kids) had to be totally selfless.

If you wanted your pup when you were in a rational headspace then stick with it and you will be rewarded with a super dog. I always say that I love my girl even more now because I went through a horrible few weeks to start with because I appreciate her more.

Original poster
NotSoCheerySnail · 03/12/2025 09:30

Thank you all so much for your replies! I’m glad to see I’m not the only one with puppy blues.
@brushingboots I think this reminded me how I felt after my first child was born and it brought it all back. @Pricelessadvice I’m prone to anxiety so I did have heart palpitations at various stages in my life before. This time being the worst I’ve ever had. My husband took the puppy overnight in a separate room and all morning today - I woke up with a completely different perspective. I think lack of sleep and my experience of PNA made it all worse.
@CoubousAndTourmaIet Out puppy is a miniature poodle so she is hardly going to do much damage. So far she’s less than one kilo. I’ve been teaching my toddler to handle the puppy properly but it takes time. And we of course is going to do 1-2-1 puppy training and puppy classes after 12 week vaccinations. I’m sure with time and persistence we can train both our dog and our toddler ☺️ it’s just that I find it quite triggering (more than I anticipated) to have to be hypervigilant (again).

OP posts:
Original poster
NotSoCheerySnail · 03/12/2025 09:37

regularlatte · 03/12/2025 04:48

I was genuinely suicidal when we got our puppy. I cried every day for about 5 weeks and tried to re-home her numerous times (husband and children staged interventions.)

She’s 6m now and a complete delight. It gets easier. I nearly love her.

Gosh it sounds hard! But really gives me hope that given some time I can enjoy our dog too.

@whyyy321 thats what I thought too! Having had PNA before it was just a trigger. Sorry you went through all that and I’m glad to hear now you now have a really strong bond with your doggie.

OP posts:
CreepingCrone · 03/12/2025 09:43

It's the puppy blues! For some reason, I thought I knew what I was doing when I got a puppy as a companion to be lovely, old, rescued greyhound. OMG, I was in for a shock! We've gone to every puppy training class going, because I'm the ine that needs educating. My pup is 2 now, definitely the baby of the family. Things did get a lot easier after 3 or 4 months. Although he was 14 weeks when we brought him home, so not quite as young as yours.

BackToLurk · 03/12/2025 09:46

I brought our puppy home and promptly got COVID @NotSoCheerySnail as did my partner. We were inexperienced, ill and did everything wrong. I had the 'how do i return my puppy back to the rescue' webpage open on more than one occasion. I felt embarrassed at how badly I was doing, and couldn't believe I'd made such a terrible mistake. And blimey was my puppy hard work. We discovered part of it was due to food intolerances, and sorted that helped a bit but it's been hard. Anyway, 2 years later and he's not 'instaperfect' but he is a 'very good boy'.

There's lots of support here. My massive learn was to put my big girls knickers on and see that 99% of people on this part of MN want to help (I don't think I'm being overgenerous there) so sometimes they may say things I didn't want to hear, but it was generally useful.

rainbowunicorn22 · 03/12/2025 09:51

to me, it sounds like you have just realised what a huge responsibility you have taken on and exactly how long a puppy will live for. As another poster said, this is why I will not have a puppy

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 03/12/2025 09:58

It's not always just 'puppy blues' - any new pet can take time to get used to. I looked after my son's dog for a weekend recently (he's a two year old Labradoodle). I have a fairly sedate (but has her moments) eleven year old Patterdale and I've got used to her predictability and being able to 'read' her intentions. With the youngster I was taken aback by his sheer energy and boisterous enthusiasm. I was mightily glad to hand him back after the weekend (even though I adore him and he's very good in the house). Any permanent change to your lifestyle takes adjustment - look at all the people who move house and instantly regret it and want to go 'home', even if the new house is an improvement.

Cut yourself some slack and understand that ANYTHING takes time to get used to. Your puppy will settle, you will learn to read his behaviour better and understand his requirements - and he'll get older. It's basically a 'this too shall pass' moment.

BonosToupee · 03/12/2025 12:09

I could’ve written your post a couple of years ago, I couldn’t believe what a gibbering wreck I became.
Stick with it and get as much rest as you can, it was exhaustion that made everything worse for me.
My boy is my best friend now, but it took a good while.
@brushingbootseloquent reply sums up perfectly.
Hugs x

Dontyoulooktired · 03/12/2025 12:10

My puppy wrecked my mental health for the first 6 weeks. I think it’s pretty common.

Larrylobstersrollerskate · 03/12/2025 17:05

Puppy blues is so real and puppies should come with a written health warning about how awful those first few weeks are, however the good news is this changes and improves really quickly so don’t despair. Quite common to get anxiety symptoms and for those already suffering or prone to anxiety, these symptoms can be quite severe as it can trigger a flare up. If you google you’ll see a load of threads like yours,, but remember it gets better very quickly.

user2848502016 · 03/12/2025 17:27

It is hard, I got quite overwhelmed at times when our dog was a puppy too, googling every little thing. So many times thought we would have to rehome him!
He is a good as gold 5 year old dog now.
Puppy training classes could help, at least to meet others in the same boat.

Twiglets1 · 03/12/2025 17:41

Having a new puppy can feel very overwhelming, a bit like having a new baby - only sometimes it feels worse than that!

They do seem so vulnerable mixed with having a death wish it seems, or at least our last puppy did. But somehow, give it a few weeks and they settle down a lot and the family adapts to having a crazy puppy in the house.

Be kind to yourself @NotSoCheerySnail and know that it does get better. Unlike babies, puppies do actually grow up very fast and so the puppy stage doesn't last for long. Then when they are adults you look back at old photos and wonder why you made such a fuss because they look so sweet & innocent.

lulujuju · 03/12/2025 19:54

This is hard to admit but I returned my puppy to the breeder after only one week, and then brought her back home after 2 days away as I couldn’t cope with the guilt. My mental health during those 7 days was the worst I’ve ever experienced, and my husband agreed to returning the puppy as he’d never seen me so distressed.
Our pup is now 6 months old and I couldn’t imagine life without her!

Justcashnosweets · 04/12/2025 23:05

I'm 8 days in with our new puppy and my nerves are in shreds. He's not a bad dog, but I was unprepared for how much work and stress a puppy is. I've always had adult dogs. I've cried every day, and feel like we have made a huge mistake. Luckily DP is brilliant with him and super chill. He's doing a lot of the work!

PoochMama · 05/12/2025 10:41

We are 3 weeks in with our puppy! The thing is, I expected it be be really hard (as the internet is full of horror stories about that) and the first couple of weeks was actually easier than that really low bar - especially as she sleeps through the night. Plus, my husband was off for a week. I felt really maternal at first 😂

But, the BITING attacks! I'm also working from home during the puppy's naps.

And can't move a muscle during naps as she wakes up. Then, turns into a babyshark/gremlin....

Playpens have been our saviour.