Should we get a dog? Independent opinions needed!

[GeneralMelchetsMoustache]

Morning all.

I have 2 autistic tweens, both very anxious, especially when outside the home. I have been reading about dogs for autism therapy and I can see how a pet dog would really benefit them.

I've never had a dog before, and I'm worried that although it could be therapeutic for the kids I've already got two high-need kids to deal with, and a job, and I don't want to take on even MORE responsibility. WWYD? Am I setting myself up for even more stress? Or is it worth it?

FWIW, we have a decent size garden, live next door to two big parks, and I work from home so doggie would have a good quality of life (if I can manage it all!).

Thanks

But that was only stressful because your friend and her son didn’t have their dog under control.

It's about 8 for Labradors!

Never for beagles 😂

I hope your children find things easier soon.

I wanted a dog my entire life. At the grand old age of 40+ everything fell into place and we decided to go for it. My children were over the moon.

I think I was about 30 mins into life with a dog when the absolute regret hit me.
I love my dog, I truly do. He’s the easiest and most loving little lump of fur. He’s well behaved, very house trained and lovely company. But if I could go back to a dog free existence would I? Absolutely I would!
Life is chaotic, life is messy and hard work with young kids. We used to be quite spontaneous. A dog is just another thing to worry about, think about, work life around, feel guilty about, pay for (they are expensive!). Another responsibility to fit in to everything else that life throws at you.
The good out weighs the bad nowadays but oh my God was it a shock to the system!
I used to cry every day to the point that I had decided to ring the rescue and admit I couldn’t cope. The day I decided, my youngest walked into my bedroom proclaiming how his life was now complete because we had a dog and from that point on I decided I had to make it work. We love him, life is good again. But sometimes a dog just isn’t the answer you think it’s going to be! And the extra work and hassle is just extra work and hassle!
Best wishes to you and your children, wishing you dog-free happiness x

I'm autistic and got a dog to be my comfort animal. I adore him but completely regret getting him. He's now two years old and still as energetic as he was as a puppy, and whines and barks a lot. It makes me very anxious and like I'm living on edge all the time.

What I have realised since having a dog is that kids autism or not, like the idea of a dog but the reality is quite different. A dog can be quite intimidating, even if it's friendly. They can get in your face, be jumpy, be vocal and totally be a bit of a nuisance around your belongings. This is I think you would find the hardest. The kids like the idea of a nice cuddly dog but not the little monster that would eat your shoes or literally rip your homework.

We wanted a dog more than the children and they were 8-10, so the decision was ultimately our and we knew the kids wouldn't be at all responsible. But it's only really now when the dog is 9 and the kids are late teens that I could trust or feel totally at ease for them to independently take him out and look after him for extended periods of time.

No do not get a dog. I’m retired and this whole week I have been: Woken up very early by a dog desperate to go outside to have a poo, gone to bed late as dog could not settle with bellyache, got up in the night to do a wee and stood in dog diarrhoea, spent 4 days at the vets, spent lots of money at the vets, spent lots of time stressing about the dog, spent all week in the house as wouldn’t leave dog alone and spent a lot of the week in a fug of doggy farts. She is a lovely dog and worth all the above in her time of ill health (it was nothing too serious, just a bad upset tum and she is on the mend) but I am glad I did not have children to deal with at the same time.

For anyone who was desperately waiting for updates on this (yeah right) we decided definitely not to get a dog.

And then we got a dog, in August.

It's hard work, ain't gonna lie, but she is definitely a big hit with the kids in different ways. Fingers crossed it works out.

Look you can do anything if you reallly want to do it. I juggled competition horses (who make caring for dogs look like a walk in the park) 2 dogs 2 small children a largely absent husband chickens and then other peoples horses. But I come from a farming background, caring for animals and juggling everything else around them is my blood. I wouldn’t go back and change it well maybe dump the useless husband. My kids now grown up are well adjusted adults who understand the commitment any animal is. I’m used to getting up at 4 am and checking animals before bed at. 10pm. I’m not overly house proud and definitely car proud🤣. My life has evolved around animals since I can remember I never questioned if this was for me I knew nothing else.
The horses have now gone and I don’t think I’d have them again (notice I say “don’t think” rather than never you know what they say “never say never” as she reached for the classified ads in Horse and Hound). But know Id never be without dogs. This doesn’t mean you should or shouldn’t get a dog but you do need to ask yourself are you prepared to sacrifice lots of other things? Be realistic, your kids at best will be excited at first but the may novelty may wear off and the responsibility will fall onto you. You do have to love animals be it dogs horses cows sheep and love them despite all the ups and downs bad weather hair everywhere time they take up costs and some people just don’t love animal that much and that fine.
There are plenty of other ways of filling you and your families spare time and benefitting them as well.

I’m currently going through the puppy phase of sleepless nights, endless chasing and feeding and peeing and pooping.

If you have 2 high needs kids, this will be utter, utter hell for you.

No, I really disagree with animals being used in this way. A dog is an immense amount of work and responsibility, not to mention the financial commitment. It's not an object to help kids with anxiety. They don't exist for us to use on a whim. It will create a LOT more work for you.

I think yes as long as you really do your homework with getting the right dog.

You would need a dog that was very calm, trainable and fairly low maintenance. Possibly a retired greyhound may fit the bill.

I have a ND dd and for us getting a dog was the right decision, dogs are one of her special interests though!!

Aww just saw the update! That sounds positive, what breed did you go for in the end?

I have two children on the spectrum (both now adults) and we always had a dog - a big, fluffy bear of a dog too. I do:think they "mopped up" a lot of the angsty stuff floating around our house. Because our house is unique in what it's like to live with so much quirky behaviour, we always got 8 week old puppies so they got used to it early. Dogs have a window up to about 12 weeks when everything is absorbed like a sponge.

I wouldn't mind about not desperately wanting a dog. Who knows how much they will like it- you do hopefully fall in love with your own dog, which makes everything so much easier.

I would say to choose one of the lazier breeds. Mine sleeps for most of the day. He is a bernese mountain dog - super cuddly but tbf a lot of hair! It can be tempting to go for a breed by look or size ie smallish but honestly, a lot of the bigger dogs are more laid back.

A golden retriever would be good imo.

Avoid anything terrier or spaniel- lovely dogs but hard work.

Good luck.