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If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

When will I know it's her time to go?

3 replies

Sesame2011 · 13/11/2025 15:59

My lovely dog is 13 years old. We celebrated 10 years together last month, after I fostered then adopted her at 3 years old. Recently she's been steadily declining.

She has started being incontinent (urine) over the last few weeks. She will pee in the house despite regular access to outside. I did consider this is potentially behavioural however she also pees in her sleep so maybe not.

This week she has struggled with diarrhoea, it's been really bad and there have been many accidents in the house. We are taking her to the vet tomorrow regarding this. I believe this has happened because she was in kennels for 3 nights at the weekend. She sometimes gets a dodgy tummy but never this bad and this long.

She's arthritic in her back legs, struggles to jump up, get upstairs sometimes and probably has arthritis in her front legs too.

We believe she also has dementia. We often find her staring at walls, stuck in corners etc. This has become quite noticeable over the past couple of months.

She eats and drinks well. She can still have fun playing with a toy occasionally. She loves visitors coming over and has no problem barking at the postman still. But she is generally quite tired and mopey looking.

Our home environment has changed with the arrival of our first baby 4 months ago and the guilt I hold is strong. I feel sorry that everything has changed for her and she's had to adapt so much.

Last vet visit a couple weeks ago, they mentioned the E word when discussing the dementia. But we didnt talk much else about it.

When will I know? 😔

OP posts:
CoraLea · 13/11/2025 16:25

There's a quality of life questionnaire you can consult. Google animal quality of life scale.

Sorry op 😓

ThePoliteLion · 13/11/2025 19:36

Dear OP
It’s a heartache, this stage. If it helps, my late Norfolk Terrier was in a similar situation at 12. Incontinent overnight (doubly so), dementia, personality change (quite grumpy) and the vet thought he had a cancer. We had the dear boy put to sleep. The vet reassured us that we were doing the right thing. I now think we left it about a month too long. The poor dog probably hated making a mess in the kitchen. A good vet will talk you through your dilemma. X

noctilucentcloud · 13/11/2025 21:40

I have a 13 year old dog too, they get old too quickly. I'm already thinking about my personal lines in the sand for my dog so I'm more objective for when the time comes - dementia and distress from it, incontinence, arthritic pain that we can't manage, and losing his zest for life are all on it. I'm sorry OP, I think you should have a good chat with the vet. You don't want to leave it until the bad days outweigh the good.

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