Should we consider a dog?

[SilkieChick]

We've thought about it a number of times over the years but practicalities and work (office based/long hours) has usually been the main reason not to. Now our circumstances have changed - I'm full time freelance and WFH every day. So it's got me wondering if we should consider it, or if we need to confront the fact it might just not be for us (me)?

So I'm going to lay out our situation and ask for your opinions/advice!

I WFH and go for a morning walk before work almost every day.
We're surrounded by fields and woods, loads of places to walk on or off lead.
We have a decent sized, enclosed garden and I spend lots of time outside/gardening.
DDs are now teens - 15 and 19, and more than capable of helping with general doggy care and daily needs. DD2 is at uni but living at home and doesn't seem likely to go far anytime soon - I would anticipate being able to rely on her for doggy daycare/holiday breaks if DH and I were away.
We've had a rough couple of years, losing DH's mum, and DD2 has had issues with friends turning on her, she has been a bit miserable at school.
Also I wonder if, as the girls are older, a dog would encourage us out and about more at weekends as a family - Saturdays and Sundays can be a bit lazy/aimless.
Also, I do like the idea of having a wee furry chum around the house when I'm working, for company. I am an introvert, but it can get a bit lonely working alone all day.

However...

I don't love the idea of smells, mess, picking up poo, the extra hassle of dealing with muddy paws/dirt every day.
Fleas and ticks - nope.
Extra hassle in general? More routines and habits to layer into the day, remembering walks and food and any medicines etc., more regular life admin - which would inevitably fall to me.

Are these dealbreakers? Or things which would be outweighed by the benefits/enjoyment of having a pooch?

I'm already finding midlife a bit of a struggle - and in many ways it seems like getting a dog would be kind of a mad idea - but I have the notion it would either improve life and make us closer as a family OR it would be the worst thing we could do. I honestly wish there was a crystal ball I could look into to find out!

And before anyone says it - why don't we get a cat? I would get one in a heartbeat but DH is firmly against it. But I know the emotional benefits of having a pet and I know how much they can add to a household. So I'd begin to consider a dog if we could find a breed that's fairly quiet, laid-back, not needy or difficult to train - I think something like a whippet? It seems the most cat-like dog IYKWIM.

I should add we do love him and he is also funny and cuddly. And we do have great walks and go places we wouldn’t have otherwise. But I am on my last nerve tonight!

I think if your starting point is that you don’t like mess , smell and poo then I wouldn’t do it .

Try borrowmydoggy website
Or could you ask around and see if a friend/acquaintance would like someone to dog sit during the day?

None of us like the hair, mess etc and the twice daily washing and drying after walks for the next six months gets me down. But all that is outweighed by the sheer joy of having my dogs.

As you have mentioned these negative things I suspect that might not be the case for you.

Ok, well I guess I started this thread to confirm what I already suspected - although I like dogs, I don’t love them enough to own one, and value my freedom too much at this stage of life.

Truth be told I’m a bit all over the place with midlife/menopause etc - maybe that’s what’s brought this on - so I think a simple life is best for now.

so no dog, no cat, no pets… makes me a bit sad but I’ll try and focus on the positives. And maybe things will change in the future, who knows.

Borrow a dog ,walk one for an elderly neighbour. You have to take the rough with the smooth. I've had dogs since I was 12, now 75, with 2 border collies, can't imagine life without dogs. Yesterday morning,got up went in the kitchen,walked in a stream of dog vomit

Personally, getting a dog is the best thing we've ever done as a family. I'm going to pick up a on couple of your 'negative' points and explain how they impact our life.
Fleas and ticks - not a issue. He has his flea and worm treatment once a month. It comes in a 3 month supply from the vet. I just mark the date to give it on the calendar and he eats it with his dinner and then I don't really think about it again.
Life admin - walks need considering but if you get a fairly lazy breed and you walk every day anyway, I can't see walks being a big extra task in your day. Feeding is so minor to deal with. We've made a point not to feed at a very specific time each day as don't also done eat at a very specific time depending on what's going on so our dog does 'ask' for his food at a certain time like other dogs I know do! We buy his stuff in bulk so it lasts around 1 month. Each month, as his food is getting low, I go to the pet shop in town and get a big bag of his food, a few packs of biscuits, special training reward treats and chews and a pack of poo bags. Lasts us the month in 1 half an hour trip out at a cost of £70 ish. The only other thing is his vet trips occasionally for a check up and his vaccines.
For us, the rewards of the happiness and joy he brings to our house far outweigh the work. And he's a young springer so extra energetic!!

We had been dithering for years and eventually got on just before Covid when DH had gone through a bereavement and was also majorly feeling empty nest syndrome. Honestly it’s the best thing we ever did. She’s a cockapoo (I know, I know) but she’s absolutely bonded to him. She’s fun, she likes a play, she loves a proper walk with rivers or the sea and sticks, she’s old enough that she can be left snoozing happily when we go out at night. The in laws, who adore her and she adores, have her if we are away, or DHs son takes her. She’s never been in kennels and day care wasn’t her bag so that’s a pain if we all want to go somewhere…

she has bought so much joy and warmth to the house.

the poo is fine, she’s got used to having a quick hose down if she’s got muddy, we have a stack of dog towels. If you don’t let them on the furniture from the start that’s probably a good rule. Puppies are hard work but that’s stage doesn’t last for ever…. Do it.

Why not foster a dog or a cat. See how it goes for your family.

Haven’t read the whole thread OP but just wanted to go against the grain a little and give you my experience of dog ownership so far!

I have a 7 month old lab he came to me when he was 8 weeks old as my first dog. It’s just me raising him. I have an 8yo DS who lives with me half the week and so haven’t factored him in to ‘help’ in any meaningful way. I knew it would be on me.

I never had dogs growing up. Always been surrounded by dog lovers though. I had all the same
worries as you from reading through your list.

With regards to picking up poo, I started out hating it. I’m now one of those weirdos who inspects it and celebrates a firm one 😂
Ditto with mud - I don’t care. It does not outweigh the joy of walking him and watching him living his best life.

I think he is one of the best decisions I have ever made. I cannot put in to words how much he has enhanced my life so far. I don’t feel ‘tied’ to him. I want to be with him - my sister invited me on an impromptu abroad holiday this week. If I didn’t have my dog, I could have gone and probably would have. But I find that even if I had somewhere for him to go, I wouldn’t want to leave him anyway as I would miss him too much! I am an introvert too, and he’s made my life feel so much more complete. I’m never lonely, I have a sense of purpose and I wouldn’t be without him. His relationship with my son has flourished too and they’re thick as thieves (after a challenging start!)

Obviously, this has all depended on getting the right dog. I really landed on my feet with mine.

Dogs are a way of life. Not an add on. Even the best bred or assessed dog can present unforeseen behavioural or medical challenges that you may need to work through or manage. There is mess, dirt, smell, poo and hair.

You would also need to invest time - how much depends on the dog - in training. Lifelong.

They are a big tie both practically and financially.

I think to get the best you need to really want one. Puppies are horrific for at least 18 months - 3 years. They take a long time to grow up.

The 3 year old terrier we walked all day with mostly off lead at the weekend took months of blood sweat and many tears. The same terrier I’m now winning rally and agility competitions with took even more work! Granted terriers can be more work than other breeds but they are easier in a lot of ways.

To me you don’t sound convinced enough.

I would love another dog but the dealbreaker for me now is the vets fees, they seem to be getting out of hand, and insurance doesn't always cover🫤

Also something to remember, a dog absolutely should be insured with a quality insurer (not a cheap supermarket that won't pay out) and these days that is pricey. My small 4 year old pooch is already on £70 a month. Wouldn't be without though.

No. A dog is just not for
Christmas. So to speak.

Get a little cat. Easy to look after and cheap to maintain.
😻
X

Very similar situation here. Ended up adopting a 5yr old border collie. Best decision ever. He's changed our lives. I adore him.

I was very similar re poo, smells, dirt etc. none of it bothers me. Coming up to auear with him and we cannot imagine life without him.

We had cats for years and years.i had various dogs growing up.

He makes it very easy to reach my step target every day. He's great company. I cannot remember what it was like before we he came into our family.

Ahh that is a bit sad. I came to say ‘yes!’ but then I’m fairly new into my first dog as an adult (had cats and a dog growing up and cats as an adult), and no kids yet, so different circumstances I guess, but then I also live with and care for my elderly parents, so… 🤷‍♀️

It depends on what your lifestyle is like outside of work. There is plenty of doggy care available if you can pay for it.

Smell & mess wise - I’ve got an adult doodle, she doesn’t smell but then I spend a couple of hours each week brushing her. I also trim hair myself, otherwise it’s an extra regular expense. That’s the trade off….

Poo wise - yeah, I had the same fears! Please don’t let this put you off. Just hold your breath, breathe out and if you feed them a decent diet (mine is on raw) then it hardly smells anyway. Other people’s dog poos that I sometimes pick up do stink and are soft, and I chuckle to myself when I do as this was a put off initially for me. Yes, I’ve got a bit of poo on my hand once, picking up the MASSIVE poo of what must have been frankly a pony! (Bag couldn’t cope!) I wiped them in the grass and just washed them on my return, being mindful of what I touched in the mean time. Yes, disgusting but we can actually cope.

Fleas & Ticks - I use a holistic approach. Repellent spot on once a week with the brush, apple cider vinegar in her food, hoover my duvet once a week (we co sleep), wash her beds, hoover every few days, and we’ve not really had a problem. A few fleas in the summer so I increased the hoovering for a week or so, flea hunted on her every day for a week, and washed and sprayed areas she lies on the carpet. On the whole, very easy.

Walks - not all dogs need a second walk a day. Some are fine with one. It’s a controversial subject! Some are even fine with a rest day. I was worried mine wouldn’t settle when I was away for a few days and my dog walker had let me down - seems mine was quite happy for a few sofa days with granny! 😂 I just gave her a longer one when back and she was pleased.

Life admin - very little in my experience, and I send off her poo for worm testing every few months. It’s really not an issue.

I’m actually more of a cat lover, but a dog brings different things and I would not look back.

Yes, they are a lifestyle choice, and so much depends on the dog, its health, its diet, and the rest is random.

I’ve had my furry shadow 16 months now, she turned 4 yesterday. I’ve not looked back!!

Maybe try to work on the why not a cat barrier from hubby? 🤷‍♀️ Maybe do some dog care for others?

It’s a big consideration though, it’s good you’re being sensible about it. spend the next few weeks going about normal life and think, how would this work with a dog? 🤔 There are often solutions, but it may involve the ‘village’ of you see what I mean…

Your homelife set up though sounds like doggy heaven!!