Overwhelmed with New Puppy

[Daschy16]

I am hoping someone can please give me some advice or words of comfort.
I finally got an 8 week old puppy yesterday. This has been my dream for years and I have been so excited for ages.
She is gorgeous, curious and very sweet natured so far. She loves a cuddle and her toys, and has come out of her shell very quickly. I am just feeling very overwhelmed, which I feel is absolutely ridiculous as its only day 2. I am crying and have no idea why.
I haven't been able to get her to toilet outside - shes terrified when we go outside - she cries and violently shakes. I then feel like I'm being cruel and then bring her inside where she continues to shake for a while. This has meant lots of indoor accidents, but she has used the puppy pads a few times. I know accidents are par for the course, but I am worried that she will never go outside and that she may even struggle with walks due to nerves once she has her final vaccines.
I am concerned she isn't eating or drinking enough, and shes also been sick twice.
We are crate training with me sleeping in the living room with her. She slept well last night, but I am so worried it was a fluke. Selfishly, I am also concerned that I won't ever be able to sleep in my bed again.
I live myself, and whilst I have supportive parents who have offered to help, I feel too ridiculous to say that I am struggling already.
Sorry for the long post, just hoping that someone has a word of wisdom please

Praise and reward. Use chicken (boiled - low fat, easy on the digestive system and they love it) and treat as you walk down the garden (encouragement). Then let them sniff about, if and when they go to the toilet praise and reward immediately. If they don't, walk back in and try again in 10 minutes. If they do have wee or poo you should introduce the word you want associated with going to the toilet. We use wee wee/wee wee time and she's up and down the garden like a shot! Also treating as you walk outside creates positive association.
Unfortunately you will have to repeat this process endlessly (every 20-30 mins) all day every day for the first week. Puppies so not know to ask to go outside! And walk to the same patch of garden where they will smell any previous wee or poo to get them 'going'.
House training is easy but bloody boringly repetitive.
She will currently be having a nervous tummy due to her whole life being turned upside down. Try boiled chicken and rice for a day and make sure there is water available all the time. Don't feed any crappy food (ie Bakers Complete is poison), get a quality puppy food with a dog 'gravy' topper to encourage eating.

I would put a picnic blanket outside and carry her out in my arms, walk her round the garden carrying her even when you don't need her to wee or poo. Then sit down on the blanket iwth her toys there but still just holding her in your arms for a while. And gradually get her used to it like that.

Has it been windy whenever you've taken her outside?

Where did you get her from? All puppies should have been well used to going outside and be happy to do so by the time they go to an owner. Please tell me you didn't get her from a puppy farm, where they were kept indoors in pens or sheds all the time.....the fact that it's a daschund (ie. a breed that's "in fashion" at the moment) has me wondering....

Your feelings of overwhelm/tearfulness are normal. One day at a time, and soon you’ll feel much less anxious and be enjoying the experience far more.
x

Thanks so much- I'll try that tomorrow

No, I got her from a reputable breeder - definitely not a puppy farm!
She had a outside pen area for the puppies.

Op all over mn you’ll see people overwhelmed by puppies. I was. He’s now my right hand dude at age 3. Remember he’s just a baby and you’re his person and you can both do this together x

Try not to worry. 24hours is not very long. She's left everything she's ever known and her siblings and her mum. Mine didn't eat for a couple of days I don't think when I got him and it took me months to toilet train him. Although I live in her upside down house, so that was an extra pain. A toileting mess is going to be par of the course for a little while. Don't push the dog if she's scared. Try and lure her in the day with food that she likes. It's extra tough this week because fireworks and bonfires and the smells of those things as well

Absolutely, the first week of my current dog (now 4 years old) was awful. She'd been left outside in the garden all hours of the day and didn't want to come indoors. She wasn't house trained (we purchased from the first owner not the breeder). As I went from two elderly dogs that slept all day to a puppy it was a massive shock..

You only got her yesterday? You need to calm down and accept this is a bit of an upheaval. Why is outside scaring her? Presumably she was used to going outside at her first home?

Our garden is massive and the breeder’s was small. We kept our puppies (we have 2, a year apart) extremely close for a few weeks when in the garden. Our breeder gave us a week’s worth of the puppy kibble she’d been using, so there was no change in diet.

My advice would be stick with taking her outside but keep her close. Every 20 minutes during the day. Give loads of praise and keep using a phrase. We say ‘do a wee’, but my in-laws used ‘be quick’ which is a big less undignified when you’re saying it a gazillion times a day. Do not use puppy pads! What are you teaching them other than to toilet in the house?

We didn’t crate, but one of us did sleep downstairs for the first week.

In another week or so, you’ll all be used to each other. I think pups thrive on benign neglect - meet their needs but don’t over stimulate them. They’re babies and need loads of sleeping time.

Gently - you’re expecting too much from the puppy. Even if she had got used to going outside with her breeder, she’s in a new home, away from from her mum and siblings with new toys and you are completely new to her. She has to learn to trust everything. There’s a lot to process and she might not always know she has to go because her brain is busy learning her new surrounding and working out if she can trust you.

Socialise her. People think this means meeting other dogs and they can only do this when they’re vaccinated but socialising is about so much more than other dogs. Take her walks tucked up in your coat, places where lorries or tractors will pass. Places you can hear kids playing and dogs barking. Somewhere with a level crossing when a train passes. Around town. It’s getting her used to all the everyday sounds she’s going to encounter.

She will sleep by herself. She will be able to go for walks, even if she’s quite timid and scared of some things. It’s normal to have puppy blues. However, you also need to know that training a puppy isn’t linear. They learn something and you think they’ve got it, then they’ll regress a bit. This is either as they learn something new and temporarily forget or because they are testing boundaries. Adolescence can be quite hard as they test boundaries. I find it easier to measure in puppy to dog ratio. So right now she’s going to be 100% puppy and 0% dog - puppy being a complete pain in the arse, dog being completely chilled, lying on your floor and your perfect little friend. Look at the overall picture when you have a regression and you’ll see that she’s 80% puppy and 20% dog and slowly the dog % will increase. She’s going to test you for the next 2-3 years but after that she’s going to be absolutely perfect but in that 2-3 years it’s going to gradually build and at the same time the connection will build.

Don’t panic! This all sounds completely normal. It can take weeks or months to fully toilet train your puppy. Accidents inside are normal. I have a now 9 year old dog and felt a bit overwhelmed also in the beginning. In the end I was strategic. I set an alarm on my phone for every 30 minutes and took my puppy out in the garden every 30 mins and waited for him to do business. Big praise when he did. It did not actually take that long. You can do this 😉

I remember those days! I was full of regret when I got my puppy (now 15 months old) and I couldn’t believe how hard work it was and I remember thinking what have I done?!

I had visions of me ringing the breeder up asking her to take the dog back 🤣

it got better, with time and patience and consistency the dog is now house trained and a doddle to look after.

the puppy stage is a short period of time within a dogs life and it’s over before you know it

I've always been lucky with my dogs I must admit but can you just try putting puppy pads at the back door (inside) for now to work on their confidence.

I have the worst admission to make. I remember - clear as day - taking my puppy out for a walk and thinking ‘I hope he doesn’t live a very, very long life.’ 😢😢😢
My dog is now 10 years old and I ADORE him. He’s the best. But the puppy stage nearly broke me!

I think I got to day 3 before I started crying and lived in our kitchen for the first 4 weeks. Just relentless repeat of taking outside every 15 minutes, boiling chicken and rice for his dodgy tum and basically being surgically attached to me.

Mine was fine with the garden but once vaccinated was terrified of walks. I just used to carry him everywhere or sit in the car boot and watch the world go by.

Personally I wish I’d sacked off crate training earlier and brought him up to bed with me from the start as 9 years on it’s where he is anyway!

it gets better hang in there

Puppy blues! She’s just a baby and her body can’t hold her wee/poo yet. There’ll be lots of accidents and it’s HELL! Mine is 7 months and still has the odd accident.
Accept your parents help, prepare yourself for the biting stage, it will get better. You’ll be sleep deprived and irritable for awhile.

It's all still very new for you . . . just imagine what it's like for her . . . she's tiny and terrified, of course she doesn't like being outside without her siblings. With your help, she will adjust but you need to manage your expectations. Puppies are hard work and 8 weeks is extremely young for her to have been separated from her mother (I keep my puppies until they're 11 weeks).

Did the breeder give you anything that smelt of the mother? A bit of bedding/towel etc? That can help with sleeping but it sounds like she's a fairly good sleeper (although I see why you don't want to put too much weight on one night). There will be early mornings but most puppies adjust fairly quickly.

Just remember that it's all still very new - for both of you and this will all change and be wonderful.

Have there been any fireworks in your area? Even just a few bangs that you haven’t noticed might frighten her and make her not want to go outside. Combined with the rest of the massive upheaval in her little life. Everything you describe is completely normal. As a PP poster said tuck her into your coat and go and show her the world.

Her whole universe has just changed. She’s left her mum and her siblings and everything smells funny. She has no idea what’s going on.
The puppy stage is brutal. I do wish more people would realise this and be prepared.
You are expecting far too much from her.

Carry on taking her into the garden to go to the toilet, big fuss if she wees/poos etc. But expect accidents. It’s totally normal.

She’ll be amazing! You’re in for a treat! You just have a rollercoaster ride to get there.

Try and separate your feelings of overwhelm from the puppy and her behaviours. This is about you taking on a new commitment and panicking a bit. Your brain is pinning it onto puppy behaviours because brains like to do that- they like to look rational. Very often brains are not very rational at all, they just pick superficially good reasons for the feelings.

Tell your brain it’s fine, focus on the lovely puppy. This bit may feel like it’s long, but it’s gone in a snap and you’ll miss the tiny scrap you have at the moment!

The first 5 months were a nightmare for us. But we now have a wonderful dog.

When I got our puppy I had rosy ideas of him lying at my feet while I WFH, walks in the fresh air and company when I was home alone.

I had forgotten how much hard work they are, he reduced me to tears many a time. He was poorly with his stomach and I slept on the sofa with him and thought oh what have I done. He was also being crate trained and toilet trained.

He is now a lovely almost 2 year old, who lies at my feet while I WFH, loves his walks in the fresh air and is good company. His crate is his quiet space and he goes in and out at will, the door is not locked but it was when he was a puppy.

I was consistent with training, gave him a lot of praise and used certain words for training that I still use every time. I took him to a dog trainer to help me along as I reckoned I would reap the rewards of the hard work done when he was a puppy.

He is a Springer and I knew a lot about his breed as he wasn't our first springer, though he is different to my other. Make sure you research his breed find out his needs and what is best for him.

Honest he was so much hard work as a puppy he took over my life for a while. I often come across an item of clothing that has tiny holes in where he used to hang off me by his tiny sharp teeth I couldn't move for him.

Puppy stage is a total baptism by fire! Daily crying and struggling are totally normal to begin with. If you look online, you’ll see puppy blues is one of the most common topics. It does get better very quickly and they usually soon get over fears with gentle socialisation. The first few weeks before they’re fully vaccinated is really hard, but things generally improve once you can get out. Just be gentle and supportive to pup, it’s absolutely full on for these babies first few weeks, but as they settle into your home they become happier and less nervous. Upset tummies or not eating is common in the first few days due to the stress of leaving their litter. A good breeder should be there to answer any questions, but otherwise breed specific forums or the puppy survival threads are helpful. My pup is now 20 weeks and she’s totally transformed from when she arrived. Your life slowly reappears although there are still moments of complete madness.

OP, do you work from home? Or will you have to return to a workplace soon?