Old dog - am I awful for feeling like this?

[Greenscreennightmare]

We have a terrier-type dog, so a small mongrel. She's about 17-18, we rescued her when she was about 2-3. She's always been closest to me but my husband and adult kids love her too of course.

She's lost a lot of weight in the past few years and is pretty much skin and bone now. She eats and drinks plenty. She had a cruciate ligament op 5 years ago and I don't think it made much difference, she has a problem with her hind quarters which have drooped but she still potters about the house.

She's blind and deaf, she's incontinent for the past couple of months and gets distressed if left alone for even a few minutes (we also have a 3 year old dog who keeps her company). She sundowns every evening from after dinner to 9pm.

Given all the above, I feel that it's time to think about having her PTS. My family however are appalled. They say that she's happy, and she is because I'm retired so I'm here at home with her most of the time.

But, I'm so sick of cleaning up her mess, she's ruining the laminate floor and we spend a fortune on doggy pads, mats etc. She's on painkillers and Prozac. Whenever I ask the vet if we're doing the right thing keeping her alive he just says, well she doesn't seem unhappy.

What do you think, am I a terrible owner wanting to put her down? I don't know if I have her interests at heart or if I'm being selfish, but honestly she's like a pooping and peeing machine and rarely ever goes outside the door.

Opinions/advice would be much appreciated.

Aw @Greenscreennightmare it sounds like you 100% have your dog’s best interests at heart and are also doing all the emotional, practical and donkey work.

It’s very easy for your family members to plead for keeping her going. That’s because they aren’t doing the hard yards. I’d be £100 that if they were on dog duty for 48 hours they’d change their tune.

Taking those really hard decisions - That’s real love.

One way of looking at this is to consider what your dog used to enjoy - maybe evem make a list - and then think about what she has left off that list.

Then offset what is left against her distress and confusion. Is it worth it? Is it what you would want for yourself?

It's such a tough decision, but weighing up her quality of life might make it more straightforward.

It's a horrible decision and it often causes disagreements in families.

Would you like to live like this? Would they, the family members?

Whatever you decide will be tough.

I wish you strength.

Call the vet out if you think it’s time.

But be kind to her OP, it’s not her fault.

I missed your last post, glad you love her so much, call the vet to you if you can to make it as comfortable as possible.

Your dog is blind, deaf, in pain, confused and only able to potter about in the house a little bit, incontinent, and you think she ought to be PTS. Please, do the kindest thing for your little friend. You know that's the best thing to do. x

It sounds like you've given her the very best life and shown her so much love.

It's so difficult to make the call, we went through it earlier this year with our elderly dog. In all honesty DH kept him going longer than I would have. The vets didn't think our dog was in pain or suffering and that he still had quality of life, so I let DH decide. The past couple of weeks were really difficult though, it definitely felt like he wasn't the same dog and I was struggling to remember how he was before he got old.

Yes! My DH was so horrified when I said that she was maybe ready to go, then he told our kids what I'd said, I was a bit surprised that none of them agreed with me.

In his defence though we had to put another dog to sleep a few years ago after he'd had a sudden catastrophic stroke. That was really DHs dog and he was devastated so I realise I need to be the one to say, right, this is it, she has no quality of life and make the appointment.

I'm going to give our kids the chance to come and say goodbye to her this weekend.

I spent most of yesterday crying and I'm crying now, but it's for the best. It's so hard. Thank you for understanding.

@Greenscreennightmare I was crying for the last few weeks of my lovely dogs life. It was the hardest decision I have ever had to make, but it was the right one. I'm crying now just writing this, and this all happened in April this year (I've written about it on here), I still have the odd thought of did I do it too soon, but then I think again and I know she wasn't happy and was in pain. The hole she has left is enormous and I really do feel for you making this same decision. I think knowing my family were behind me helped, and I suspect your family know deep down it's the right choice but don't want to admit it 💐

I'm so sorry OP. It's so hard when you know it is time for "that decision" and they are ready to go.

It's the final kindness to them, hard though it is for us because they have been much loved family members.

I do still feel the hole left by my old labrador, who was put to sleep in November 2019 at the age of 15. We'd been on borrowed time for about 3 years. Until about the last couple of weeks of that time he had seemed happy, but then his decline was sudden and dramatic. One day he could suddenly no longer get up and I just knew that he never would again. It was awful, and it was clearly time.

Awful as it was (and I cried buckets for weeks), I did actually feel a sense of peace afterwards, and relief that I had managed to make the hardest decision at the right time, and he was now at peace.

I asked the vet to arrange an individual cremation for him so that I could have his ashes back. I still have them in a lovely wooden box urn that bears a lovely photo of him on the side. So he is always in my living room with me. I've done the same for all of our other pets too (a cat and a cocker spaniel).

Be kind to yourself too. I'm offering a handhold.

Awww, OP, I'm really sorry.

It's time to let her go

I have an old dog he’s 16 and blind and nearly deaf and has dementia. He is still physically pretty fit bit not being able to see has slowed him down. My line is when he stops eating with enthusiasm or he starts to be incontinent. He’s only ever had a couple
of accidents in his life and that was because he was ill. The problem was he got very upset when he didn’t make it outside and I don’t want him to feel like that again. So I have the local vet on stand by for when the time comes as he will be pts at home. She’s done baseline tests so we can see a deterioration as and when. I have also registered with an emergency vet that I can access 24/7 just incase he was to suddenly go down hill at night. My dog has given me so much love and happiness for 16 years, the least I can do it make sure he goes to sleep so never has any pain or discomfort beyond an easily manageable amount.

I hate to see these poor animals dragging their painful body around, soiling themselves just so the owner can put off the pain of losing them. Is it love if you force the pain onto your pet so you can avoid it for a little while longer. I don’t believe so I think it’s incredibly selfish.

I hate to see these poor animals dragging their painful body around, soiling themselves just so the owner can put off the pain of losing them. Is it love if you force the pain onto your pet so you can avoid it for a little while longer. I don’t believe so I think it’s incredibly selfish

Oh I totally agree. We had someone who had an old lab and everyday we went to the park we'd pray that would be the day he wouldn't and he had done the right thing.
I love your last line Is it love if you force the pain onto your pet so you can avoid it for a little while longer It's really a good way to think about it if you are struggling to come to a decision.

It’s very hard. We had our old dog pts a year ago. She was 15 and she just suddenly went down hill, she was constantly panting and struggling to breathe and her back legs went weak. We made the appointment and the day before we carried her to the beach where she lay on the blanket and seemed to be enjoying smelling the smells and got her a pupachino on the way home. The next day it was calm and quick and she has her favourite pack members with her.