Adopting a dog - need advice

[IcyReader]

Hi all, I signed up just for this because I don't know what to do and who to ask. Hopefully you can give me some advice.

I am in the process of adopting an 11-year old dog. His owner died, and the remaining family unfortunately cannot keep him, because they have a dog, the two dogs do not get along and (soon, once the house is sold) they have no means to separate them. The family is desperate to find a good home for the dog but because of his age, there has so far been no interest - except from me. I do not care about his age. I do not want a puppy anyway because a puppy is so much work.

I thought it would be best for the dog if he gets to know me in small doses first, so that he won't be stressed out as much if he does eventually move here fulltime. So far, the dog has stayed with me for three hours on Saturdays / Sundays and a full day today. I work from home, so I am always available.

The dog is 11 years old and deaf (so doesn't hear commands), but he is super fit, walks like a champion. He is friendly to and interested in everyone he meets. He is lovely and already comes to me for cuddles etc. It could be a great match! But there is a problem. He never rests.

So this is what we did today:
8 am: arrival
8-9 am: first walk
9-11 am back home: I sit down to work. Dog walks around the flat (he always does this, which is fine) then comes to me and starts barking (not nervously or aggressively, just like a request for me to get up). I get up and the dog runs into the kitchen... eventually I give him something to chew because I just cannot work when he is barking. He is happy until he has finished. Then he starts barking. Ignoring does not work... I give him something to chew. Etc.
11 am - 12: second walk (I thought this might tire him out, but no chance!)
12 -2 pm: Same as 9-11 am
2-3 pm: third walk
3-4 pm: Same as 9-11 am, only I have run out of treats, so the dog keeps barking at me.
4-5 pm: fourth walk
5-5:30: see above...
5:30-6:30 pm: fifth walk (I don't know what else to do, the barking is starting to strain my nerves!)
6:40 pm: treats get delivered and I give him something to chew (:facepalm:)
6:50 pm: family member arrives to pick him up. Dog doesn't really want to leave because he is happily chewing on his treat (:facepalm:).

The weekends when he was here for three hours at a time we went for a walk for 2 hours or so, so the problem wasn't as apparent, though it also happened then.

I really need the dog to be able to lie still for four hours (ideally) at a time, so that I can work. The other problem with the barking is that the neighboring flat is a holiday let. I really like the owners and do not want to cause them any problems which would surely be the case if the dog keeps barking. But in all other respects I love the dog and I do not want the dog to have to go to an animal shelter which will happen if the family cannot find someone to take him on.

Please help me: Is there any way this can this be fixed and how? (Keep in mind that the dog is deaf, so verbal commands won't work.)

I really do not think it's nerves - he is super-relaxed on walks and when he chews on something and does come to me for cuddles. I think he is just very very hungry...

Please help me if you can.

Firstly good on you, you are doing a wonderful thing and you are very kind hearted. May I suggest as an aside that the family who is giving you the dog also gives you money for when things go wrong. Insuring a dog that age won't be cheap. I have a stipulation in my will that whoever gets the dogs gets a nice sum.

Anyway, you mention he is hungry. Stupid questions but do you think you feed him enough? You could also use a kong with something sticky inside.

Also, how well do you know this family? I ask because I was also about to rehome a bitch and uncovered a lot of bullshit (pardon my language). I was lied quite substantially about several things.

Has he had a recent vet check up, I would definitely ask about this before taking him on, the not relaxing is a bit alarming for an 11 year old dog, as is the barking for food all the time, possibly dementia? My border collie is 7 years old, very active, but will sleep 2/3 hours in the morning and afternoon. Do you have a garden, if not maybe he’s not sure about being kept in. It’s common for deaf dogs to bark.

Thanks a lot for trying to help.

I only know the family via an animal shelter which advertised for them to help them find someone to adopt the dog. They do seem very nice and the dog seems well socialised so in that respect I think it's ok. Of course they could be lying about the circumstances but in any case the dog needs to find a home.

The dog is currently still staying in the dead owner's flat which is part of the family house (which is about to be sold soon). The dog is walked and fed in the mornings and the evenings by the family. I actually don't have dog food in the house yet since the dog hasn't stayed over night so far. The family told me that the family member who died was not very mobile towards the end, so the dog was not walked as much at that time and was at one point very overweight, so they did put him on a diet. This worked in the sense that now he is only a very little overweight and he is very fit / can walk for hours.

The kong sounds interesting - what would you put inside and how long can it keep him busy?

Thank you. I had planned to ask for a vet checkup and will do this. I just thought to wait until it was clear if the dog would fit in here.

My parents have always had dogs and so I too expect a dog to just lie down and rest after a long walk! All my family's dogs did this. This is partly why I'm at such a loss.

I don't have a garden.

My parents' first dog had dementia in old age. He did walk around in circles a lot, on and on. This dog seems different to me. The barking at least has a very well-defined purpose. He wants food!

I don't have time to answer properly right now so please forgive me, I will reply in more detail.

All I will say is keep your head cool. I got very soft in the brain about this ex breeder. You can find my thread dated end of August. There was some very good advice on it.

The family say that the dog isn't this restless at their home but they do not work from home so they are not there with the dog + the dog is staying in the granny flat (because of the other dog, unfortunately they have to keep the dogs separate and this is the only way they can currently manage that). Apparently the dog only barks if he hears them move around in the house. If this is true it seems that he CAN relax if there is no-one in the flat with him whom he can ask for food.

In this wretched world of dog buying and rescuing, assume everyone is lying. I promise you there are some very very good Fagins out there. It is like an estate agent, don't listen and only consider the facts.

Only trust a rescue that fosters.

More later...

It is quite a big ask to expect a new dog in a new place to instantly chill an relax for several hours.

So far all that has happened in the new location is that he gets walked! He needs to be taught to chill in the new place and as he gets more used to it that will be easier for him.

An old dog whose exercise has suddenly increased and is restless and unable to relax also needs a detailed health check. If he is in pain from the increased exercise he will not be able to chill.

OK, thanks. I really appreciate it.

I've been thinking and I don't know what the family could gain by lying - if they just wanted to get rid of the dog they could simply find him a place in an animal shelter. I think they don't really want to do that.

Thank you - the first time he stayed over I did think he was a bit nervous about the whole thing. This seemed to fade and I didn't really get the impression today that he was nervous, but it is definitely possible.

How do I teach him to chill in the new place? I'd be really grateful for some advice on that.

Maybe I could call a vet and ask for some advice about the restlessness?

It’s real normal for dogs to be restless in a new place - I once dropped one of mine off at my sisters (he knew her very well but it was a new to him flat) to for an overnight stay while I went to a wedding.., he didn’t sleep for the entire time he was there 😂

Is he a GSD? Wondering because I saw a Facebook post earlier, they tend to be a bit on the vocal side and dogs that have gone deaf can also be a bit more barky.

If it’s just not settling I doubt there’s any real fix for it other than time tbh - I wouldn’t give him a chew at that point though, it’s basically rewarding it. I would try something that’ll take time like a kong or a chewy thing that isn’t a two minute then gone, bully stick, pigs ear, one of those yak chews something like that and give him it when you sit down to work, see if that helps him settle down more.

Stop rewarding the barking by giving him a treat, he will think that is a great game and will never stop.
You only treat good behaviour and my dog only gets praise as reward for being good.
You could try putting him in another room while you work and see how that goes.
Has he got a dog bed at yours so he knows where to go to relax?
Also, you ideally need to see how he is being left alone in the house for a few hours.
Hope this helps …

Just thought!
You mentioned his owner had become too old to excercise him, so I’m wondering was he let out into a garden from the kitchen door.
He may be barking to be let out in that case and not wanting the food.
As you have no garden, this could be a problem for him as he is used to one.
My dog is only 5 and has walks but is in and out of the garden quite a bit all year round.
If this could be the reason why he is barking, it might be best if he goes to someone with a garden.

Right, I am back. So this is my opinion to help you out. It is but my own, based on a lifetime of dog ownership and my recent brush with rescuing and puppy buying.

Firstly, I would say that it is admirable that you want to help an old dog and give him a good life for the rest of his life and far from me to dissuade you. I just want to help you by getting you to make sure you know what you are taking on. Have you owned dogs before? The last years of a dog can be (almost always are) challenging (all of mine had heartbreaking deaths from ruptured and prolapsed organs - a few pissed blood everywhere it was a CSI scene - to many PTSs, none have ever died peacefully without intervention). I have just lost a 15 years old dog. In the last 3 years, we stopped insurance as it was extortionate. We knew we would not go through any intervention that cost an exorbitant amount (but crucially financially could if justified). She was suffering from kidney disease and we knew we would not overmedicate or try to save her from the inevitable. At the end we had a choice and we went for PTS. But for the last 18 months, she had become incontinent at night, was starting to lose her marbles and the end came rather fast but to give you an idea of cost (caveat I am in London), putting her down and all associated costs came to £600. That is not counting all the prior vet visits and her specialised diet. Can you take that on?

Secondly, I am a bit baffled by the rescue you are dealing with the caveat that I am not used to rescues. I have never come across a rescue that let you try out the dog, but I suppose why not but it sounds disruptive to me. I take back my previous comment about only trusting a rescue that fosters. I walk dogs at a greyhound rescue and they don't foster, too many greyhound around I suppose, but they vet the home and are here for support. What is this rescue and what support do they offer you?

Thirdly, you do need to question why they want to get rid of the dog. I don't want to be judgmental but who does that to an old dog? Fine is the owner doesnt have any family but I would take on a dog from any family member that has passed, even if it was not a breed I would ever want. I find this a minimum level of decency. I would question if they know something health wise that they are lying to you about.

Fourthly, if the dog is used to a garden, it will be miserable in a flat and good luck training such an old dog. But not impossible. Think if you are really the best person to take this on.

I hate to say it, but it sounds like the buck is being passed on to you. It might of course not be the case but please do not trust anyone no matter how nice they come across. You could be taking on something far bigger than you can deal with. But if you have the experience, the money and the kindness to do it no matter what comes your way, then you have my full admiration.

This doesn’t sound like a well dog to me. Even in a new place a dog this old will sleep after a walk. Vet visit definitely required and some more visits before you commit.

Haven't read all the posts but wanted to add :
It sounds like you are rewarding the barking ie..every time he barks is met with getting a treat.
Please don't give up on this dog, he sounds lovely 😊

Am totally sure this is a work in progress..

@IcyReader used to foster dogs from a local rescue.. ask me anything if it helps!

Have you considered insurance? Could be costly for such an old dog? If you don’t intend to get insurance, then vet bills could run info thousands.

A new dog is not going to fit into your routine straight away. Do you know the 3:3:3 rule ?

Don't agree 😊 think you're maybe jumping to a few conclusions.. someone i recently met had to take her intended dog home 5 times for short stays, some rescues can be very thorough indeed! And that's a good thing👍👍

Apologies if it came across as conclusions, as I said in the post, this was merely based on my own experience and it is clearly stated that I do not know much about rescues. I was merely pointing to things the OP might want to consider.

Regarding kongs, I fill mine with wet dog food and freeze. Lasts pup about 45 mins if well stuffed. I've read you're supposed to stick a straw through and pull out after if freezing, to avoid a vacuum effect (I don't, I just supervise).

Does he have a blanket/bed/towel from home that can come with him next time? Generally 'settle' for a puppy (I know he's 11 :)) is taught on one particular mat or bed, you'd drop kibble onto the mat, when he's not looking (so the mat is magic and he's not just eyeballing you for the next kibble), and when he's doing a behaviour you want to continue, i.e laying down and being quiet.
I think with him sounding so unsettled you'd need to drop kibble in quick succession. Eventually you'd hope to phase it out. I know it's a technique for young dogs but might be worth a go.

Also could be worth checking he's not crate trained, might be feeling lost without it if he is.

He sounds like he’s training you! When he barks he gets a treat or a walk….
Id bring his bed to where you are working, put him in it. Say no, and put him back if he gets up and or barks. Keep doing it. Praise when he stays. A Kong might help initially. Have a few intervals where you have a cuddle or play with him. Then ask him to go back. It will take a bit of time to establish that he feels relaxed. I’d definitely have a quick vets check and then have him come to you full time. The coming and going won’t help him settle. You have to be kind, but have routine/habits/boundaries with a new rescue. Poor guy, I hope it works out for you all.

Thanks a lot to everyone who replied. I will try to summarise:

To those mentioning future old age- / illness-related problems and vet fees: you are right. I can afford it though and I would do it. If he can have another happy one or two years I would be happy with that. If he does get seriously ill at some point I would consider euthanising him - I know it is controversial but I would consider the same thing for myself if I got seriously ill so my own mind is quite calm about that.

I think / hope the visits at my place aren't too stressful for him anymore, it is more like I'm dog-sitting, which I guess many people do with their dogs without too many problems. But I do agree with those of you who say it could just be the new environment - it would be really good if that was the reason he isn't just settling down. I have a plan to test that (see end of post).

To those who are saying that I'm rewarding the dog / the dog is training me: you are absolutely right. I knew as I was doing it that it was a really bad idea and that I am just making a rod for my own back. The problem is that I just couldn't find another way for him to stop, and I had to work / consider the neighbors. I tried:

• Saying 'no' firmly while shaking my head, and then turning away. He cannot hear the 'no' but I hoped the body language would make it clear. However, he just kept barking.
• Pointing to the ground / placing my hands on the ground to indicate he should lie down - he didn't understand.
• Avoiding eye contact and just ignoring him. He kept barking.
• Giving him something to chew - this worked while he was chewing. I also hoped the chewing would tire him a little and help him settle but that didn't really happen except for a short 30 minutes or so at one time where he did lie down.
• Getting up and taking him for a walk - he never barks on walks, so I mostly did this to settle my own nerves. I think he did find the last walk that day tiring but he still started barking afterwards.

I didn't try:

• Mat training - it is a good suggestion, unfortunately time-intensive and problematic with work / the neighbors, not sure I could handle that. Also, he doesn't lie down when I tell him to so it is difficult to even start.
• Locking him in another room - I did think about it, out of desperation mostly, but felt bad and if he had kept barking there it would still have disturbed the neighbors.
• A kong.

To those mentioning the garden: It is possible that the previous owner just let the dog out to go for walks by himself. The family did mention that if you leave the dog alone outside, he will go for a walk by himself and then come back, and I know that e.g. my great-aunt does this with her dog because she can't walk him anymore. However I think in that case the dog would run to the front door and not the kitchen (the kitchen has no door). For example, one of my parents' dogs was obsessed with playing outside and of course she would run to the door that led outside. This dog runs into the kitchen and I did spend a lot of time with him outside so I think it's unlikely to be the problem (or at least not the main problem!).

I have thought of a plan. I will ask the family if I can dog-sit the dog in his current flat for some time on the weekend. If they agree I will walk him for one hour and then spend 2-3 hours at the flat sitting on the couch reading a book and pretending to ignore the dog. Then I can see if he settles quickly in a familiar environment or if he behaves the same way there. If he does bark there (because I am there and he now knows me as a food-provider) the only people it will disturb are his family, so I can ignore it and check how long it takes him to stop. If he only barks for a minute or so and then stops, it is not a problem and can probably be fixed. If he barks the whole time, I think I won't be able to adopt him.

I will also film him the next time he is at my place so I can show the family what the problem is and maybe consult a vet about what kind of problem it could be.

Thanks for all your help, I will try to update when I know more.

One more thing, you’re forgetting something very important. Where’s the photo of the old soul you plan to adopt?