Hello, I'd really appreciate your help and kindness.
Our dog is a 15 year old Alaskan Malamute. He is old by any dogs standard, so it's no shock to us that he's declining.
The trouble I'm having is with the family I live with, we have had plenty of dogs, so we know they will leave us eventually, but it seems like my families ability to cope with the losses of previous dogs is causing extended suffering for our current pooch.
We did have another Alaskan Malamute which had liver failure a few years ago, and resulted in a painful, but thankfully short passing with assistance through euthanasia.
Our current dog isn't showing signs of organ failure, but he has lost his continence, and his mobility. He hasn't been able to go on longer walks for years, and for the past year he hasn't even been able to manage short walks other than happily pottering around the garden at his own pace. Now he can't even do that, he finds a spot, sits in it all day, and then requires support to get up the steps back into the house. He falls over frequently when walking, and he has no strength in his back legs to get back up. He's not a small dog, he is a giant, he was the largest of the litter, and he is really heavy, and we are short people.
We live in a multigenerational household, and my grandmother can't bare the idea of having another dog put to sleep, she found it terribly traumatic, and feels that pain relief and a natural passing would be best.
I on the other hand can't bear the thought of him struggling anymore. Earlier this year as winter was ending, he ended up with flystrike as he can't get up, and the constant washing of his back end leaves him damp which flies love, and it was days of plucking maggots, shaving, washing, disinfecting, drying, lots of soreness. I've just been out to try and get him back in due to the cold weather, and he fell over, was unsteady, and when he saw the steps he just turned round and plonked himself on the grass.
I've had a few conversations with the family, that I think it's time, we should give him a lovely weekend, shower him with treats and love, and either have the vet come out, or take him to the vets while we love on him, but as soon as it starts to get emotional the conversation gets shut down.
Another layer of complexity is that he is registered to my cousin, who doesn't live nearby. He came to live with us originally as a short stay while she moved home, but then found herself pregnant, and he ended up becoming a permanant addition. My nan thinks it should be up to my cousin to decide when it's finally time, but she is also in denial about it being the right time, and thinks we could do more, buy ramps, do some gentle physio with him, use pain relief etc.
We also have an autistic 6 year old at home, who we are always cautious with, and he does naturally stay away from the dog, but I worry that our dog won't be able to mask the pain much longer, and would not want to put him in a position where he snaps, nor my child in a position where he is being snapped at. It hasn't happened yet, but I know from experience with my sweet girl who had liver failure that it is a possibility as she snapped at me, which was one of the first signs of her deterioration.
I need help as I can't make this decision, he isn't technically my dog, but I do a large burden of care for him. I can't watch another dog struggle. My own childhood dog struggled similarly, and passed away from a stroke in my arms, and I so wish that I could prevent more suffering. How can I explain to my family who struggle with emotionally charged discussions that it is simply time for us to make that decision.
Thank you so much for reading.