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If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

My dogs anxiety is getting worse

3 replies

myRubyboy · 03/08/2025 14:57

Hi lovely mumsnetters. I need some help with my 9 year old cavalier KCS. Basically he has a really bad habit where he is extremely triggered when he thinks I or anyone really is about to leave (even if I am staying and say another family member gets up to leave). He has always been anxious about people leaving or more specifically about being left, (as I think many dogs are) which manifested as barking or running to the door but I feel like recently he has ramped it up a notch and started to do following:

  • will run to door and put himself between me and the door (or whoever is leaving) barking agressively
  • Snaps at my hand when I go to open the door handle
  • bites at my bag or clothing

He has grazed my adult son's ankle with his teeth. He has bitten both my mum and dad on the shin and drawn blood when we are over at their house visiting.

I am actually now scared every time I go to leave him behind (Or bizarrely even if we are just getting ready to go out). He causes chaos, aggressive barking and getting in the way. He is particularly bad at parents or sister's house perhaps he associates it with being left there even though he is rarely left there (maybe once a month if that).

When I get ready to go work on my office days he will do all this and I have to shut him in a room in order to be able to leave. Note that my partner is there so he is not being left alone. He is very rarely left alone but there are the odd times say 3 hours max which should be acceptable as he has run of the house. As a general rule he is with someone at all times.

I took him to the vet last week to rule out physical issues and he is alright except for a symptomless treated heart condition and the slight beginnings of a cataract on his eye.

I try to keep every situation calm and sitting down still and quiet when others are preparing to leave but this makes no difference. I have tried to be stern ie using a command, using high value treats etc but it is just not getting better. I am guilty of having ignored his anxiety barking etc when he was younger but now it is getting to the point where I cannot ignore this.

Literally the rest of the time he is an absolute angel, he does not guard food, people or possessions. I could take food out of his mouth and he would not react. His recall outside is excellent and he is perfectly well behaved around other dogs.

One other point worth mentioning is that he goes to a dog day care with a neighbour on odd days maybe once a month and no issues have ever been reported so I can only assume he is not behaving like this with the dog sitter at her house...

I think I need a dog behaviourist but just wondered if anyone had experienced something similar and had any tips. Is it a behaviourist needed or some sort of trainer? What sort of person would be best?

Thanks in advance

OP posts:
Bupster · 03/08/2025 20:07

Whatever you do, make sure whoever you get is force-free and has some decent qualifications. If you've got good insurance, and don't mind the risk of your premiums going up a bit, I'd talk to your vet about getting a referral to a behaviourist.

It sounds like it's anxiety, perhaps separation anxiety, and a bit of hyper-attachment to you - so stern commands are meaningless and so are treats, as they're not changing the emotions behind the behaviour. You'll probably need to start from scratch with all the signals that you're about to leave - so putting your coat on then taking it off, picking your keys up then putting them down, so they stop having such emotional weight.

What happens when you actually do leave him alone? It sounds like he'd get very distressed. Have you been watching him on camera?

carly2803 · 03/08/2025 20:18

force free dog trainer required

also get a crate if you have not already - encourage it as a positive place, feed in there, treats etc, put him in there with visitors and constnaly treat in there (throw them)
soon as he settles = treats

but yes, trainer asap

myRubyboy · 03/08/2025 21:05

thanks for your replies

@Bupsterwhen I have left he quiets down fairly quickly. There is no barking, howling or door scratching. It seems to be the whole process of going out

@carly2803the crate idea could be a good idea in the interim

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