Please tell me this gets easier (new puppy)

[Unmute]

New puppy. Not my first puppy (although my last dog was an adult rescue, so it's been a while) and not my first of this breed (staffie - she's number 4).

I am struggling to bond with her. She doesn't feel like my dog, she's just a small strange and quite annoying creature I have to look after.

The main issue is the constant biting. I can't play with her as she prefers attacking my hands and feet to any other game. I am covered in bite marks. I don't remember my last pup being this bad. It's not fun, it hurts, and I'm actually a bit scared of her.

She's just a baby (10 weeks). I know she isn't hurting me deliberately (or is she?), but I am exhausted and I don't know what to do.

This is normal, right? She'll grow out of it? She's not going to be aggressive forever?

Other, more minor issues as well...she won't poop outside (but will poop immediately on getting back inside), and she screams when I leave the room during the day, even for a minute.

I am so tired!

It's very normal.

Is she getting enough sleep?

I think so? How much is enough sleep?She's usually awake for 90 mins, asleep for an hour (very roughly) and then overnight she's asleep from 10:30 to 6am with a pee break in the middle.

They need about 18-20 hours of sleep at that age so I'd probably be encouraging more daytime naps and downtime, if possible? An hour of sleep at a time isn't enough, IMO.

Definitely make sure she is getting enough sleep around 18h a day. I had to do enforced naps when mine was a puppy, I used a crate. I would sit next to it with my back turned and slowly move away. I found letting her sleep away from us during the day has helped with having a dog not with separation anxiety.

I will try and get her to sleep a bit more. She is happy in her crate overnight now (after sleeping in bed with me for the first week), but during the day she tends to sleep on the sofa. I'll start putting her in her crate for naps

I think most puppies need to be taught not to bite hands and feet. I think you need some specific training for that. Some are worse than others, but most instinctively do it when they are still little and have not yet been taught that biting hurts. They usually learn it from each other, but I take it that this pup is your only dog?

It will get better and you will be alright you will bond.
I say this as someone who 12 months ago was sobbing into my phone saying
”it’s just not my dog”.
He was a massive disappointment when I went to collected him I wanted run out and leave him there.
I have had lots of other puppies and I’ve loved them to bits from the start. I have no idea why I felt like I did but it was an overwhelmingly real dislike.
I love him to bits now he is an absolute joy he is amazingly clever and I wouldn’t be without him for the world.
I have a few photos of when I first got him I still find it hard to connect to those.
you will be ok soldier on and don’t feel guilty when do end up loving him.

Yes this is my only dog. I lost my lovely old staffie quite recently. It was probably too soon to get a puppy and I can't help comparing the two, which isn't helping at all.

It does sound like she hasn't been getting enough sleep, so I will work on that. She is a lovely little thing really (can you tell she's curled up asleep at the moment)

Beautyfadesdumbisforever - thanks, that is what I needed to hear!

No progress on the biting (I mean, it's been one day, I'm not expecting miracles), but I think we've solved the pooping issue. I thought maybe she didn't like to do it out in the open, so I tried her on a longer lead so she can get under the hedge, and she's now happy to poop outside. She can't go off lead because our garden isn't enclosed.

I then have to go crawling under the hedge to collect the poop, since we share the garden with toddlers who like to explore, but at least there's less chance of poop in my flat!

Any ideas on how to reduce the biting, other than more sleep, which I am working on? I'm currently distracting with a toy, and if when that fails, leaving the room for a minute. When it gets unbearable I put pup in the kitchen (where her bed and water is). Sometimes she falls asleep, but often she just chews the baby gate and cries.

I think possibly my previous puppies were slightly older when they came home, so that's why I don't remember it being so bad with them.

Yep, totally normal. Puppy blues is a real thing. They are so cute but they are hard work, demanding and basically ruin your life for a while because you can’t leave them unattended for any length of time.

The biting is normal and can last a good few months, just to warn you. They are teething and exploring the world with their mouth. Pups do this to other pups and dogs in the wild. It’s all about learning how to control their own jaw and recognise what is acceptable.
You just have to go through the biting stage. It’s totally normal and not something you can really rush. They all progress at different speeds. Some pups come out of it quicker, but some (like one of mine) was like a crocodile til she was about 6 months! We used to try and distract her off human body parts by making a high pitched ‘ow’ and then directing her to a toy.

@Unmute - we have a puppy thread running if you wanted to join?

Mine is 15 weeks and nowhere near as bitey as he was at the beginning. The biting was always from overstimulation and being too tired in our case and it was usually worse when my son was here - he is 7 and I think mine fed off the kid energy and got too excited! He still does it now when he’s overtired but it’s like once every few days or something.

Things I did that I think helped - I’d play with him when he was on his back and rub his belly and when he went to bite me I’d firmly say ‘‘no” and pull my hand away for a few seconds. After a few times of doing this, if he didn’t bite me I was reward him calmly and give him a treat and he soon caught on. You need to do this when they’re relatively calm though. Don’t give him all of your attention all the time. When “no” didn’t work with mine, I would put him in the kitchen and shut the gate for a few mins and he caught on that it was because the biting that I did this and it usually calmed him down.

Yes, biting is normal. We used to have a couple of hours ‘on’, then a couple of hours ‘off’. Ie. Sleep/awake. Sometimes I dreaded when he was awake, because it was full on. It spoilt the puppy stages for me (although i never really enjoyed the human baby stage, when dc were little, either).

As others have said, completely normal. I had wanted my dog for a decade (knew the exact breed and even had the name picked out that whole time) but a week after bringing him home I remember sitting in the kitchen wondering what the hell we had done. It does get better, I promise.

Ours was a little land shark, constantly nipping at hands and toes but then one day DH and I looked at each other and realised we couldn’t remember the last time he had done that. I think the dog was about 4 months old at that point.

I gradually realised with our last puppy that she would get more bitey and overstimulated at the point when she needed a nap. Bit like my children getting hyper right before bedtime. So at that point I'd put her into her crated area, and make it clear there was no more playtime.

With the biting it's good to redirect, so put a toy in front of them rather than your hands. I hated that phase to be honest, it's painful and relentless but they learn and improve faster than children at least.

I am actually losing my mind. Pup has been getting plenty of sleep but the biting doesn't seem connected with tiredness. It starts instantly on waking and continues nonstop until I leave the room or put her back in the kitchen.

If I try and play with her she bites my hands. If I try and get on with other things and let her entertain herself she bites my feet.

I'm beginning to really dislike her. I'm worried we won't bond and also worried that I will lose patience and get angry at her. I know she's a baby. It's just so tiring.

I live alone, so there's nothing else going on/nobody else around to distract her.

How long do I have to put up with this!?

Oh, and another fun thing. She's started high pitched yapping and snapping at me if she doesn't get to chew what she wants.

Our puppy was like this, especially with me. It was tiresome and I hated looking after her when she was tiny, so let my husband do most of the care (his dog anyway). That’s not much help for you seeing as you live alone, but it does gradually get better and our two year old dog is now a complete joy and wonderful addition to our family. You just need to hang in there I’m afraid, and look forward to having a wonderful and loyal companion when she matures a bit.

What breed is she? The sort of advice on handling teething/mouthing can vary massively depending on the breed - personally, if she's a gundog I think the absolute worst thing you can do is yelp or fake cry or scream, or make any sort of stimulus noise, if she mouths on you.

What sort of stimulation does she get? Not kongs or food puzzles (let's not get me started on that) but actual training and engagement? Dogs that are getting lots of training for a young age tend to slightly better when it comes to being mouthy or snapping.

But, ultimately, please stop the chews. Young puppies do not need chews. They need engagement, attention and training. Given them chews to keep them occupied does them, and you - as you are finding out - absolutely no favours.

So, my advice is: no chews, no puzzle/lick matts/kongs etc. Train her 4-6 times a day in 5-10 minute bursts, give her soft toys, give her frozen flannels to chew on and really engage with her. They are horrible when they are young, but ultimately this is part of raising a happy, healthy, balanced puppy - and the only way to do that is to engage with them.

if you have a secure area keep a lead on - if he is being a mouthy git, don’t handle him lead walk into secure area then start again when he settles down.

It's funny. I have now been through the puppy stage 4 times, and you always forget how blummin hard it is dealing with a puppy. They exasperate you, pee immediately after coming inside, chew things, bite you, wreck their dog beds ...... and then they fall asleep on your lap and all is forgiven. A puppy is hard work, but one day it will magically fall into place.

Is it wrong that I now feel broody for a puppy !!!

The biting is primarily down to teething. She is hurting and biting helps ease the pain. Then bring in tiredness overarousal and you get the bitey puppy combination.

I work with dogs and have experience with dogs but remember getting stuck in the middle of my garden as the puppy was jumping up and biting me every time I moved!

It will get better but it is hard not to take it personally!

I do think puppies need to chew but rarely give high value edible chews. Frozen carrots to help the teeth and gums feel comfortable frozen knotted t towels (as long as the puppy is not eating them!).

Very short training sessions eg just getting a calm sit in return for a bit of their daily food allowance. Rewarding for calm still behaviour, rewarding for them being at your side (starting heelwork)

I would never squeal or yelp to stop them biting. The puppy is already over aroused adding in high energy squeaking will make this much worse. There is a reason dog toys have squeakers in them.

I promise you it will get better . Do allow time for a bit of down time away from the puppy if you can. Is there anyone that could just give you half an hour break and sit with the puppy?

Your feelings are very normal, you are tired, you have not had a minute to yourself, you worry you are doing things right! You do not like being hurt. All very valid reasons but do hang on in there this too will pass.

What breed is she? Working on her natural predatory patterns can also help with specific issues.

My pup is 10 months now but this really resonates with me. We had lost our last dog 3 months before we collected this boy and I did (still do to some extent) compare them. I had totally forgotten what puppies are like. Luckily my dc could remember and set me right a few times that last boy was just as bitey as this one! But yes, biting from the moment he got up until he went to sleep. Even training (which I did frequently in 5-10 minute bursts) usually ended up in him biting. But we persevered, diverting to a soft toy, turning backs, removing ourselves, and eventually when teeth were fully through at around 6 months the continuous biting stopped. I will admit to using licky mats just to get respite. Also olive wood chews helped a bit (and our skirting boards were due to be replaced anyway so just left him to it!). Check out the puppy blues thread in doghouse - some people were wearing gloves and boots inside for months until their pups grew out of biting so you are definitely not alone. Ours also barked a lot for attention. I spent hours sitting on the floor playing with him just to keep him quiet. He is now 10 months and while still not an angel the biting has stopped and the barking for attention is 90% better.

I wouldn't have a dog. But even if I liked dogs I wouldn't have one that bit people. It might bite a child. Why do people even contemplate keeping this type of dog in their home.

It's 10 weeks old.

If you have nothing of value to add, and know nothing about dogs or like dogs, why post?

She's a staffie - I've had 3 before, including 2 as puppies.

What kind of training would people recommend? She has sit, come, and responding to her name down. I've also been rewarding her when she sits without being asked, like at the front door when we come in from the garden.

I'm not giving her chews. When I say she gets yappy when she doesn't get to chew what she wants, I mean when I stop her from chewing my book, the TV remote, the table, chair leg, phone charger etc