How to help DD13 cope with the loss of her precious dog

[Littlebitpsycho]

Hi everyone

I am typing this through floods of tears at the realisation that my 15 year old staffy is telling me he's had enough. I will be calling the vet first thing tomorrow to make the appointment.

He is DD13s everything - her world is literally going to fall apart. They sleep together, watch TV together, he won't even let her go to the bathroom on her own. She does of course know hes very old, but she's with her dad this weekend and he has gone rapidly downhill, hes unbalanced, unco-ordinated, doesn't want to eat.

I'm going to talk to her when I see her later - but how do I help her when I'm just as devastated? DD has gone through a huge amount over the last few years, she dealt with me finding the strength to end my abusive relationship at the end of last year, alongside losing almost 70% of her hair to a fresh cycle of alopecia, starting her periods and losing her treasured pony.

How on earth do I get her through this as well?

Oh my goodness OP, this does sound really tough.
She's got through some really tough things already so you and her are clearly really resilient.
I think I’d be getting something really special made that she can keep with her all the time. I’ve got a silver nose print necklace of my beloved dog, a friend has an ashes into glass ring. Two other friends keep their dogs I.d. tag in a pocket.

Allow her to express her emotions- it really does sound as if she’s had a tough year and it’s ok for her to feel sad/anger etc - give her the space and time she will need to grieve and let her know it’s ok she feels sad/anger etc - yes it’s shit , yes it feels horrible but it’s a normal emotion and all part of life.

And it’s ok to cut both of you some slack - you have also been through a tough time OP so don’t forget this also applies to you.

Oh this sounds so tough but well done OP for looking after your beautiful dog first, as I can only imagine it would be tempting to keep him going for longer than he’s happy with.

💐
Give her time to say goodbye and make their last day together really special. One last little walk, make doggies special food, ...

We lost our beloved Boxer when I was 13 - I'd never known life without him and he was my sibling.

We all grieved, not just me - and I think the key is to grieve with her. My parents were rubbish at emotions, etc but the loss of the dog really opened them up (for a while!).

All love for helping your precious dog cross the bridge - it's hard and never getd any easier no matter how often you go through it. But my partner always says that it's the last act of love and kindness we do for them.

I recently had to have my boy pts. In a moment of sadness and desperation I turned to AI to stream out my feelings. One of the replies that I received struck a chord with me. It said, you took on the pain yourself to release them from theirs.

It is the hardest decision ever and never gets easier. Yes it is painful, but in their world they simply fall asleep and no longer hurt. I truly hope you and your daughter well through this difficult time

Ahh poor boy. I’m so sorry, lost mine at the start of the year. It’s very painful for us, but it’s the final act of love to set them free of pain before things get worse. It’s better for us too if it’s peaceful and you have time to say good bye, keep it calm, get a nice steak or whatever your dog loves, lots of cuddles, the vet will usually take nose /paw prints. Get a lovely framed photo of him, maybe from when he was younger (that’s what I did).
Think about whether you’ll bring him home to bury or have his ashes and let her choose this if she wants to.

She will get through it, both of you will xx

Her world isn’t going to fall apart.

You’re going to help her grieve appropriately. This is life. Pets die and it’s tragic but please help her keep it in perspective. This is your chance to teach resilience.

If he's gone rapidly downhill since she left i would consider getting her home now so she can see what he's like now and then she will understand the decision.

It will be very hard for both of you. We are lucky to have these amazing animals in our lives.

Thank you everyone for your kind words. Unfortunately this evening he went downhill so quickly he was put to sleep tonight. RIP Nen you were the best dog ever 💔 xxx

Oh this is so tough, but she will get through it and so will you. Make sure she has chance to be there and then what can you do to commemorate the dog? So tough for you and her

So sorry to hear this. Sending you a huge hug.
Grief is the price we pay for love.
Dog love is the best.

Oh gosh OP, I’m so sorry.
The loss of a beloved dog is heartbreaking. We lost our old girl this year and it crushed us all. I don’t care what anyone says, they mean just as much as any human member of the family.

I hope you and your daughter are ok xxx

Sending massive virtual hugs to you and your dd.

I lost my "shadow dog" best friend a few years ago and it broke my heart. I really feel for your dd as when you have a dog like this that would follow you to the ends of the earth (or every bathroom trip!) and is always by your side it literally feels like you've lost a physical part of you.

Things like anytime I stood up it would be alongside the noise of my dog getting up too. It felt like a very strange sad world every time I moved at home and her noise of getting up to follow me didn't come too. 😭😢

It really comforted me to have my dog's ashes come home and be back with me. I also asked the vet to do a paw print for me.

Maybe ask your dd if she'd like to do something with some of the ashes.

I couldn't face getting another dog as there will never be one that comes close but a year later we got a cat who is lovely in very different ways.

I’m so sorry OP, it’s just the worst. It is the last act of love you have done for your beautiful boy, but it hurts so much.

I'm so very sorry for your loss of your dear dog. All those of us who've been through it know just how you're feeling. xxxx