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If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

Please tell me I’m doing the right thing

23 replies

LOLOL82 · 06/07/2025 00:20

I know I am. But when I see her tail wag I get this pang of immense guilt.

our lovely girl has just turned 4, around 6m ago she developed a slight limp in the front leg. We assumed she maybe sprained it so was advised crate rest for a day or two to see if would resolve… we thought absolutely nothing of it!

it progressed very quickly. She then started being unable to weight bare, she would end up walking on her elbows and had severe knuckling. Her legs would always splay out. It is awful.

we have maxed out the insurance, she has had MRIs, CTs, countless bloods, specialist referrals. They just say they’re is nothing they can see in any of it that could cause it and have put it down to neurological/nerve damage/inflammation. :(

She spends most of the day on the couch being carried to the loo, she does sometimes jump down and she ends up on her elbows!

it’s time isn’t it? We’ve tried medicines we’ve tried physio we’ve tried electrotherapy. Nothing has worked. we have spoken to the vet RE quality of life..she’s a four year old cockerpoo, she used to adore hopping through the long grass in the fields.

she is my daughters best friend. She has ADHD and this dog has been her best friend since the day we bought her home. I want to shelter her from it so much but I know we can’t, it’s impossible. It will be her first experience of loss.

it’s booked for Monday. I can’t imagine our house without my little shadow.

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tabulahrasa · 06/07/2025 07:15

You’re doing the right thing - that’s no way for a dog to live.

It’s shit for you all, but you can’t just leave her like that.

Frenchfemme · 06/07/2025 08:46

This is so incredibly sad, but you are doing the best and kindest thing for your lovely girl. You are very brave to take the decision to do the right thing for your dog, although it is so hard for you. I will be thinking of you.

FinallyMovingHouse · 06/07/2025 09:41

You are absolutely doing the right thing by your lovely dog. The only correct decision to make but one of the hardest. x

Madeofglass · 06/07/2025 09:50

I’m so sorry. That sounds so very hard but yes you’re doing the right thing. The quality of life of your little dog has sounds so poor. I hope your daughter is okay.

afaloren · 06/07/2025 09:56

Oh no, and so young. I’m so sorry OP. It sounds like you are doing the kindest thing. Your only other option would be to take her to someone like Noel Fitzpatrick which would cost thousands, leave her away from you for ages and no guarantee of working. So I think you’re doing the right thing.

It’s so hard. I’m sorry.

LOLOL82 · 06/07/2025 10:38

Thank you. I know we can’t keep going. Not only that but our children have SEN and caring for them alone can be incredibly stressful so then adding on trying to care for a disabled dog also is so hard.

She deserves a life of fun and joy, not this. I think it would make it easier in a way if she was elderly because then at least she would have lived a long life. 4 just seems so young, and with no known cause really.

she is a lovely girl, has always been so good with the DC.

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LOLOL82 · 06/07/2025 10:54

My daughter is counting down the hours. Seeing them all sad makes me even sadder! I have explained why we are making this choice though and they do understand (as much as kids can anyway)

I’ve got her a lovely book called I’ll always be your best friend. Her big sister also gave her her cockerpoo Teddy for her. She is autistic and hadn’t really showed me any emotion. She says she is sad but she rarely shows it. I hope she doesn’t bottle it up.

just dreading the whole thing, I’ve never had to do it before.

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MarySueSaidBoo · 06/07/2025 11:26

It's the right thing for your dog, even though it's the worst decision as a pet owner you'll have to make for them. I've got an older spaniel (12) who we've just had awful news about and I've not been able to sleep or eat for nearly 2 weeks. Just the thought of knowing I'm going to have to do this in the immediate future is making me physically unwell, but dogs are so loving and gentle that they don't deserve to suffer when they don't have to. And we're pretty blessed really that we can do this kindness for them having seen my Dad die recently from cancer.

I'm so sorry you're going through this with a younger dog, that must be absolutely devastating for you all. Sending love and strength your way. Having had 2 other dogs PTS over the years, it's gentle and quick for them Flowers

noctilucentcloud · 06/07/2025 13:29

I'm so sorry, four is so young and it's not fair. But you are absolutely doing the right thing by her. It's the last and hardest kindness we can do for our dog. I wish you all strength for tomorrow. Enjoy your snuggles with her today and spoiling her.

Wolfiefan · 06/07/2025 13:38

I’m so sorry but I agree you’re doing the right thing. I recently had to do the same for a 5 year old who had bone cancer. She was in pain and I had to let her go the same day we got the diagnosis. It was very very peaceful and the last thing she did was let out like a sigh of relief. She didn’t hurt anymore but fuck me I do.
ignatia (homeopathy) and star of Bethlehem (Bach remedy) have helped. It’s the last great act of love we do. We suffer. But they do not.

LOLOL82 · 06/07/2025 13:58

So sorry to hear that @Wolfiefan

she is booked in tomorrow for 10am. :(

DP did book it for later but I feel having that hanging over us all day will make it worse. I have explained to the children best I can that when they leave for school they are to give her a big cuddle as when they get back she’ll be over the rainbow bridge. 🌈 I do feel like they’d be better at school as it would be a distraction for them rather than waiting for us at home to come back empty handed.

it’s so hard to know how best to navigate things like this with children, especially if they also have SEN 😩

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Wolfiefan · 06/07/2025 14:01

I’ll be thinking of you tomorrow. I agree with not letting it hang over you all day. Once the decision had been made I just wanted her to be at peace. It’s so hard though. I think it’s the blue cross who offer a pet bereavement service of some kind.

1Strawberrycat · 06/07/2025 15:03

Christ! Don’t do it! If Your vet and all the tests cannot see what the problem is and that’s fine. So it probably is neurological/nerve damage/ inflammation etc. So you need somebody who does physiotherapy or chiropractic or some sort of alternative therapy on animals, stretching, water therapy etc. Traditional vets and doctors look for a known ailment and then tell you nothing shows up. But it doesn’t mean there’s nothing there and can’t be helped. One ailment untreated usually leads to another. I know this as my osteoarthritis in my hip has led to a problem in my knee which has led to me generally being unstable and in pain. I know if I did my exercises more often I would improve my pain and stability. I would advertise locally online for advice and I bet you get lots of offers of help. I’m sure there will be many replies on Mumsnet saying this is bad advice but I get the feeling you posted this in despair as you really don’t feel comfortable in having your obviously adored dog put to sleep. Good luck.

LOLOL82 · 06/07/2025 15:12

1Strawberrycat · 06/07/2025 15:03

Christ! Don’t do it! If Your vet and all the tests cannot see what the problem is and that’s fine. So it probably is neurological/nerve damage/ inflammation etc. So you need somebody who does physiotherapy or chiropractic or some sort of alternative therapy on animals, stretching, water therapy etc. Traditional vets and doctors look for a known ailment and then tell you nothing shows up. But it doesn’t mean there’s nothing there and can’t be helped. One ailment untreated usually leads to another. I know this as my osteoarthritis in my hip has led to a problem in my knee which has led to me generally being unstable and in pain. I know if I did my exercises more often I would improve my pain and stability. I would advertise locally online for advice and I bet you get lots of offers of help. I’m sure there will be many replies on Mumsnet saying this is bad advice but I get the feeling you posted this in despair as you really don’t feel comfortable in having your obviously adored dog put to sleep. Good luck.

We’ve tried external therapies like water therapy and electro therapy and nerve regen stuff…

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1Strawberrycat · 06/07/2025 15:43

Sorry to hear this

Twiglets1 · 06/07/2025 15:44

You’re doing the right thing.

I’m so sorry though.

LOLOL82 · 07/07/2025 01:02

I can’t believe tonight is our last night together. 😭

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LOLOL82 · 07/07/2025 15:54

She’s gone. I am heartbroken. My daughter keeps opening the back door every jow and a gain and shouting love you to her 😭

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noctilucentcloud · 07/07/2025 17:36

LOLOL82 · 07/07/2025 15:54

She’s gone. I am heartbroken. My daughter keeps opening the back door every jow and a gain and shouting love you to her 😭

I'm sorry, be super kind to yourself over the next few days. Take comfort you gave her a happy love-filled life and your last act for her was to spare her from pain or sadness.

Twiglets1 · 07/07/2025 17:38

LOLOL82 · 07/07/2025 15:54

She’s gone. I am heartbroken. My daughter keeps opening the back door every jow and a gain and shouting love you to her 😭

That’s beautiful though that she was loved and is still loved.

Well done @LOLOL82 you did the right thing for her as painful as it is.

MarySueSaidBoo · 07/07/2025 19:55

I'm so sorry, OP. Be gentle on yourself.

Flowers
Letsgoforaskip · 07/07/2025 21:02

So very sorry for you all but you absolutely did the right thing. You put her needs first, which is real love ❤️
I hope it’s not too long before you remember the happy times.

LOLOL82 · 08/07/2025 10:11

Thank you. Last night was awful, my daughter’s heart just kept breaking. She attempted to sleep outside to be with her! Now I’m wondering if we should have gone down the cremation route but she we spoke about and we thought it would be nice for them to have a spot where they could feel like they could talk to her.

eurgh so hard to navigate. She was a beautiful dog and so good with the DC. So gentle.

we let older ddog see her body to try and help her understand that she is gone and not coming back but I don’t know if that helped either.

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