To think I’m a terrible person…

[leah247x]

Looking for advice please …..

I have a 3.5 cockapoo, he’s an angel (not forgetting his teenage stage where he was a bit of a menace). So good, always clean, takes food nicely, gentle, sociable, a submissive dog but not a complete pushover, he’s everything I could have asked for in a dog (my first dog as an adult, grew up having dogs).

Moving to now, 2 weeks ago we rehomed a 9 month old cockapoo. He’s kind natured and so cuddly but it’s clear he has never been socialised, we take our first dog everywhere we can with us. Our first dog is terrified of puppies so we knew a young one wasn’t ideal but we wanted him to have a friend and they seem to semi get on. The puppy however is more dominant (not bad his bits done yet). I’m watching out for body language, he towers over my first dog and tries to intimidate him constantly, they rarely play nicely and the new dogs tail is always stiff in the air and not waggy when ‘playing’. My first dog is so gentle but the new dog body blocks me, snatches, is not trained at all or clean as I was initially told he was and my first dog is now hiding under the table. I’ve taught him sit within the last two weeks but hours of training and he has learnt nothing more yet. I’m conscious the snatching and jumping is an issue as we have 6 babies joining our family this year and I’ve been totally misled by his behaviour, partially another reason we decided for an older dog.

I know he’s still young, probably marking his territory, not sure what kind of life he has had before now. But since we have had him, he’s never clean, I wake up/come home to multiple wees and poos indoors, on the walls, the sofa, the bed, the carpet. We completed on our first house in March so it’s currently my pride and joy. The first couple of days I was in tears with guilt over my first dog feeling so put out, I’m currently dreading coming home and can’t shake the feeling that I’ve made a terrible mistake but I now have the guilt of this second dog that I’m not sure what he’s been through, but also that maybe he requires someone with the engery to train and spend more time with him as he’s never been left before.

I have a camera set up indoors and both dogs set each other off and bark and howl constantly (I mean ALL through the day) to the point the neighbours are now complaining as they’re older and are home all day.

Has anyone rehomed a dog and experienced similar? Does it get better or do I need to put some serious thought into this and maybe contact the lady we rehomed him from (via Pets4Homes)?

Please be kind I’ve battled head and heart over this since we got him and am at a total loss.

My sympathy is with your neighbours!
What possessed you to get any dog via Pets4Homes? How much did you pay for him? Will she take him back?

lol trust me so is mine…
it was clearly my naivety. The lady seemed nice and I’m sure she is, however I feel I’ve been misled.
I tried to adopt before and the process is so long that I never got anywhere as you need to be 25 at all the ones I’ve looked at and we have only been in our house 3 months so we were not ready before. He was £250, but it seemed she just wanted him to go to a nice home and I believe you should pay a sum to show some commitment for the dog.
I have not messaged to see if she will take him back yet as I have tried to give him time to settle in, but it’s not working for me

Hand him over to a reputable dog shelter, perhaps breed specific, who can check him and potential family out. Don't ruin your family dog's life because you made a mistake.

This is what I needed to hear. I’ve heard too much from family to give it time because he’s still settling in. I’m thinking I need to do what’s best for all of us and the puppy dog deserves more time and attention than what we as a couple can offer right now.

You’ve two choices. Suspend all absences for months and work very slowly through his severe separation anxiety. It can be cured but takes work. Or rehome.

There is a reason that the process to adopt or rehome is long - to prevent the situation you are in now.

Your naivety is hard to accept as just a small amount of research will show how stupid it is to do a private rehome with no rescue backup.

You will be very lucky if you find a rescue that will rehome the dog.

You leave the dogs alone all day and are surprised the new dog howls......

By the way he is not being dominant or marking his territory.

Having him done will possibly make him worse.

I wish there is an easy solution but I dont know what it is

I think there's a lot to unpack there.

You got a young dog to keep your other dog company even though he's terrified of puppies. Your resident dog is now scared of the new arrival.

Your new dog isn't housetrained by the sounds of it. If this is the case, you need to be taking the dog out regularly and praising him to teach the dog that the best thing to do is to go outside.

You're leaving your new dog, who isn't ready to be alone and hasn't been trained to, and he's (understandably) anxious and howling. And that's upsetting your existing dog.

You're leaving two dogs that don't get on, together (?) when you go out.

Honestly, I think you've made a lot of very poor decisions. But the past is gone and what's important now is sorting the situation out. I think you should, responsibly, rehome your new arrival. The new dog is not the right dog for your resident dog, and you're not the right home for the new dog as it sounds like you haven't got the time or willingness to sort out his issues. My rescue dog had separation anxiety, it is a long hard slog to sort it out and you can't leave your dog until it's sorted. By responsibly rehoming, I mean talking to a reputable rescue centre not using pets4homes, gumtree etc.

You owe it to both dogs to do this sooner rather than later. And please remember this experience for the future and not make the same mistakes again if you ever consider getting another dog.

Reach out on FB cockapoo rehoming page they I am sure they will help. There is also cockapoo owners uk who will help with training, toileting but sounds like this is a puppy farm puppy as was mine that I got from a rescue. They have no human contact everything is new in comparison to a family bred dog. Best of Luck.

I cried every day for two months when I brought my 9 month old rescue home, he was absolutely unbearable. 2 weeks is nothing he's still decompressing.

I do agree though leaving them alone together so soon won't be helping.

I'm also 2 months in from rescuing my 9 month old and it's hard going. Just when I think we've made some progress and starting bonding she does something to drive me insane, and every day been thinking I did the wrong thing. It's been much harder than I was expecting to be honest, our rescue told us not to leave her on her own for at least 3 months, so been lots of juggling and had to postpone a holiday as now way she's ready.